Category: boots

Pitiful, really

…but it’s all I’ve got.

I once dated a girl who said she wanted me to be a stallion in the bedroom.  So I got all kitted up, you know in reins and harness, and when she came into the room I handed her spurs and the riding whip and she just screamed, slapped me round the face and left. How humiliating. Happy days…

Former boyfriends… bane of my life.

The first time a domme gave me a golden shower and ordered me to lick it up, She asked me what the taste was like.  I replied ‘tart’ and things got very painful, very quickly.   (Non-British readers won’t get that: don’t worry about it, move on).

I took a personality test once and scored a perfect zero.

She’s lying because she knows I like the contempt.  Really, she has to keep swigging at that bottle to take her mind off the hot action in front of her.  Otherwise she’d be overpowered with lust, at the sight of an overweight middle-aged sub, desperately jerking away on the floor by her boots.  Women just can’t resist that kind of thing.


I worked eleven hours and bought the girl some flowers

Makes it all worthwhile (trigger warning: link contains scenes of male equality and ordinary life).

It’s amazing how much easier the invention of electricity has made these simple tasks. In the old days she’d have had to bend you over, whack you with a birch rod or something… now she just presses a button enough times, and presto you’re balancing books! We have a lot to be thankful for.






Most of the book’s concerned with proper cleaning and ironing of military uniforms.  You’ll be discovering a lot about that, later on. Still – first things first.






Caption writing’s like that.  At first, you really agonise about whether you’ve tersely managed to capture the essence of a scene, but after a while you realise you can just publish any old crap and the sad wankers who read your blog will keep coming anyway, because they only want to look at the pictures.  Which is really great if you run out of original or clever ideas!

Dommes in the city.




Don’t worry. She‘s not going to have to stay on duty for fourteen hours.  They share the time between three of them. It’s quite tiring work, whipping men into carrying great piles of stones around, after all.

Take me, I’m yours

Because dreams are made of this.


And if she isn’t free, your daughter’s got lots of other friends who could step in.

Did you have something better to do? No?  Well then.

That half a day’s going to drag a bit.  I hate not really having anything to do, you know?

Those two extra legs make all the diference.  Insects don’t usually have such big fangs too.
Could be a career breakthrough here.  Make yourself valuable to stars like Gigi Allens and who knows where you might go?


He works if you hurt him

So keep coming back.

I expect there’s some good news as well.  Just not for them.






You’re about to find out what happened to all the other pizza delivery boys, by the look of it.




The worrying thing is that there’s at least 900 strokes of the cane due from missed weekly whippings. Still, plenty of time. He’s only 58 years old… or is it 57?

And the really good bit of the scheme is he gets to ask for another ticket to be drawn as often as he likes.  Or as often as she likes.

She’s got a point there, actually.  And did you know that a cloth and a dab of polish will get boots much cleaner than even eight hours of careful tongue-work? It’s true.  We could get the whole femdom thing done a lot quicker if we just took more advantage of modern technology.



Back to black

You’ll be in real trouble if he doesn’t.

I’ve always been confused about my masculinity. I went to a therapist once, but she just laughed hysterically the whole time.  12 one-hour sessions…I got worried she might do herself some injury, but they do say laughter is the best medecine.

Yes.  So much easier being a domme – if you’re having a bad day, just take it out on your clients.

They say women don’t like men who come quickly, but every woman in whose presence I’ve ever achieved orgasm always just seemed to want to get it over with as quickly as possible.  I suppose it maximises their income per hour.

Just one of many things that can go wrong. Good thing nothing important got damaged this time.


The agony and the ecstacy

Well, she seems very nice. Many dommes would be quite angry in such a situation.  Up you get.

She needs the money to get into the scene, that’s all.  Don’t worry – she’s genuinely turned on by fat middle-aged men rubbing against her like that.  That’s why she does it.

She owns a plumber too, which could come in handy if she decides to install you as a toilet slave.
I think Emily will be able to tell exactly how very, very sorry you are in just a short while.


Yes, I rather suspect she does.


She is looking good, for beauty we will pay

In fact, some of us have to.  Music is mostly unrelated.
 
Because he knows there are things much worse than a good hard kick to the balls.
The forceful, talented and literary Mistress Miranda, another lady who has had the misfortune to encounter Servitor in the quivering, unimpressive flesh.

 

It’s all very well to be carried away with love at first sight, but can you build a lasting relationship with a pair of sports shoes, when fashion in sneakers is so fickle?
 
 
 

 

OK, not the sexiest of topics.  But if you don’t know, you can’t imagine. Really: if you’re a pain-slut you should be trying to develop a good set of them.
 
 

 

Punishment fits the crime… tightly and closely.
 

 

You replied “I do” and that was the occasion when a safeword might have been advisable instead. Too late now.

Lick my filthy boots you pathetic little slave!

Occasionally I feel the need for a headline that takes us back to femdom basics. Not everything has to be ironic all the time.  Does it?


Better do as she says.
 
 
 

 

Sounds very sensible.  You get what you don’t pay for.
 
 

 

You’re going to experience some of her choices too.
 
 

 

Oh, OK.  I just like to know.
 
My head is currently very, very fucked!
 





 

It’s a tonic for the troops!

 

 

Women, eh? Sometimes there’s no pleasing them.  You try to apologise, and they just run you over with a tank anyway.  Still… I guess we wouldn’t have them any other way, eh chaps?



 




Cathie might need a new lawyer in her stable.  She gets through slaves quite quickly – doesn’t look after them properly, truth be told.
 







She has a plan.
 This is the delightfully delightful Miss Tiffany Naylor. ‘A dominatrix based in Milton Keynes.’ To be honest, for me that’s a hard limit right there.  But it would be worth it, to meet her.






I suppose there’s little chance of either being a blow job? No? Worth asking…
 






I suppose any Radio 4 listeners amongst you will want to point ou that I got the apostrophe in the wrong place.  Radio 4 listeners are like that.

The rest of you have no fucking idea what I’m talking about, have you?  I don’t know myself sometimes, to be honest.

Shameful display!

Apologies to anyone offended by this image of a male actually experiencing sexual pleasure.  Don’t worry – he’ll be made to suffer for it later.
 

 

Time for a witty, cutting rejoinder, I think. Just try to think of one.

 

Details, details.  Women – why do they always have to explain everything like that?
 

 

These details matter to her.  So now they matter to you.
 

 

A very fair point.  On with the spreader gag and let’s give it a go!
 

Extra Anne for the anonymous commenters who rightly pointed out that the captioned image of Anne in a space suit last time was a repost.  Just a silly mistake, by an old fool.