blonde – Page 25 – Contemplating the divine

Frankly, Mistress, spank me

The title of course, yet another attempt to gain a veneer of artistic respectability by quoting someone with talent, in this case The Smiths.

The song speaks to me, though, and especially this line:
I didn’t realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry

No poetry today, you’ll be pleased to hear. Onward, with feeling:

I’m not sure what this caption is on about, to be honest. All lesbian couples look like this, don’t they? It must be true – the Internet sez so.

Keeps you fit. Very good for your health. Until she reaches five, anyway.

One day I’ll meet someone who appreciates me just for what I am – a pathetic, desperate and unattractive loser who’ll willingly hand over cash for a brief moment of pretence that I am otherwise.

The lovely Princess Kali, being lovely as ever.

Just another attempt to make some positive use of the flood of male-dom pictures swirling around and polluting our beloved Internet.

Enthralled

enthrall (v.)

also enthral “to hold in mental or moral bondage,” 1570s, from en- (1) “make, put in” + thrall. Literal sense is from 1610s.

Kinky etymology. You only get it here. Don’t you?

I think she should allow them more food, don’t you?

$More mathematical domination$

Math is hard. So’s she.

She likes the way all those clamps jingle together when you sway.

Anyway, you’re still young. Plenty of time to have that orgasm.

She’ll probably just choose ‘both’ again – same as usual. Women – never can make their minds up, can they? Bless ’em.

La belle dame sans merci

More images of female domination, captioned ones.

Just scream to let them know when it’s back on, would you?

If I want to keep those stats up, I guess I’m going to have to start offering housework tips here…

Mmm…well, that was fun. Schoolboy session next month – four hours in detention writing lines, wasn’t it? Something to look forward to.

Men – being crude and ignorant – need to train themselves to watch out for these subtle clues. Or women need to train them.

Yes. Then they’ll definitely be gay. And married!

Cuando las mujeres atacan

The title is a tribute to my favourite tumblr at the moment, which for a long time I assumed went by the name of “When women attack”, until I bothered to ask Mistress Google what it meant. And a much better title than mine it is, too.

So, on we go. Another post, featuring several hovercraft full of eels.

Lily looks rather sweet, doesn’t she? Not mean at all. Odd, that…

Oh dear, they’re going to be so embarrassed on Monday!
Also on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday – oh, and then really mortified on Friday, when I understand the girls have something special planned.

The lady of course is from Planet Femdom, where Nanshakh paintings come to life…

One of the advantages of male submission, as compared to other sexual perversions, is that you can use it for self-improvement. My Significant Other taught me to fold my shirts properly, for example, by showing me how and then hitting me until I got it right. It’s useful on business trips.
Not a particularly amusing or wry comment, I know, but it happens to be true.

From SchoolMistressFantasy – but my virus checker gets alarmed by this site, so I won’t link: your choice, your risk.

Of course, if they start coming out the other end it doesn’t count.

This is Mistress Elektra Skye, for whom I can’t find a dedicated site – but she’s here, among other places.

Yes, Ma’am. Miss Hurley. Ma’am.

Self-discipline

They say that self-discipline is a very important trait to develop. But it’s just never as good as the real thing, is it?

On we go, burbling and stumbling gradually into total irrelevance.

He was known as a bit of a ball-breaker too, which is actually rather ironic considering what happens to him when the laundry isn’t done to everyone’s satisfaction.

Aren’t they great? ~~This is the Dutch airforce. Well, not all the Dutch air force, obviously.~~ Found on this rather unusual tumblr (I don’t often credit tumblrs, but this is a bit different) http://dommesmilitaire.tumblr.com/ If anyone knows of a country that’s likely to be invaded by ~~the Netherlands~~ in the near future, do let me know, as I think I’d like to be oppressed by these people.

OK, thanks to an anonymous commenter below, I now know this is not the Dutch air force, but the US air force. In Alaska. Not Holland. Well… I was close.

Still, I suppose that will at least make the task of finding a country likely to be invaded by these people a little easier.

Kind of puts things into perspective, don’t you think?

Oh for goodness sake! I’m into femdom because I don’t want to make choices! Why are so many dommes so soft?

This is an image from Cruella, the Lady Victoria – who was presented as the Editrix of their magazines. Of course, that was long ago, before the Internet. 1990 or thereabouts, and I a callow young student, nervously travelling down to London to buy a brown paper bag of magazines… aye, we made our own entertainment in them days, you know.

In some households the husband fucks the maid, too. But not in this one. She doesn’t have the key, anyway.

Bridegroom punishment in female led relationship

Yes, that’ll help get you in the mood to take your weddings vows. Not the wishy-washy ones during the church service. The real ones, just before.

Fedmom capyions

Just for all those of you too excited at the thought of all these pictures of dominant ladies to type into Google correctly.

One of the most common search terms for people finding this blog is “Contemplating the devine”. No. Just no. Write it out correctly 500 times, and then go and see Miss Hardcastle, boy!

On we go.

Where else could you be?

Clue: the right answer is “Yes” or, better, “Yes, Mistress”. Don’t worry – you can always borrow the money if you haven’t got it!

Men say the oddest things sometimes. That’s why sensible wives don’t let them speak without permission.

The safeword is your credit card number.

You have laugh really, eh? All those bitter tears of loss… Over someone else’s balls. Funny. Isn’t it?

By the way, I shall be on holiday for about the next two and a half weeks. The blog will continue to update itself twice a week via the magic of ‘scheduler’ *. But if I don’t respond to your comment for a few weeks, it’s not because I am rude, or too lazy to do so**, it’s just because I’m not really here. But I’d like you to keep commenting anyway…

*actually, to tell the truth most of the captions and stories these days are produced using an AI script anyway, which is why they are so repetitive and formulaic. The real ‘Servitor’ died of shame about six months ago. Nobody cared.

** unless of course you are a representative of the ruling gender, in which case my failure to reply is a sign of laziness and rudeness, and I hope you’ll be taking appropriate disciplinary measures to deal with this disgracefully impertinent behaviour.

Her kink is not your kink

Oh darling, don’t be such a prude! So you found my naughty little stash of snuff
DVDs? This is the 21^st
century, you know! I think the world’s
beginning to realise that women have fantasies, too, hmm? Even kinky ones. 50
Shades of Grey and all that?

So, did you watch any?
Didn’t you? Oh come on! Of course
you did! Which did you have a look at?

Oh wow, that’s one of my favourites. Did you watch the bit where they take the bag
off, and he’s all relieved and gasping because he can breathe again, and then
they put it back on and this time they tie a cord around his –

Oh for goodness sake!
Well of course it’s not real! If
you’d bothered to watch a bit more, you’d have seen the bit after the credits
where they take the bag off and they show you he’s still alive. He’s a bit blue at first but they slap him
around and after a moment, he comes to and his chest starts heaving up and down as he gasps in the air.
He’s fine – he’s a professional.
He’s probably done it loads of times.

Then I’ve got a few hanging ones – there’s one with
The Hangmistress. She’s really famous in
the industry – best rope-work around.
Because it makes all the difference, you know, whether they dangle there
and slowly choke, or the neck just snaps right there. It’s nice to take it slowly, but sometimes
you just want a nice sexy snap, you know?

Yes…that’s all fake too.
Of course it is! They have these
little interviews before in which the boys are chatting happily away about how
excited they are. They wouldn’t do that
if they knew they were about to be murdered, now, would they?

Oh – and there’s a really rare French one. With a guillotine! Goodness only knows how
they fake that. You actually see the
heads coming off. Very clever. And each boy gets to see what happens to the others, before they put him in, so he’s screaming and begging…mmm.

…you know, it’s actually kind of sexy that you thought
it was real? You just sitting there,
being all scared because you thought you were watching an actual murder! Thinking your little wife gets off to boys
being tortured and killed like that…

so, ermmm…

…so, how about popping one of those in the DVD and coming
over here, and we can watch it together, hmm?
No, not that one – I don’t think you’re ready for Barbara’s Barbecue. It’s
kind of hard core. Yeah, so’s Crucified by Co-eds. Have you got Plead for your life there? Brilliant, let’s watch that. And…how about you get naked and go down
between my legs, hmm? Just like the boy in the movie, who’s pleading for his life.

No of course I’m not going to tell you what happens! That’ll spoil the surprise. I’ll give you a clue, though – get ready to
lick really firmly in about 12 minutes.
Because I’m going to be coming pretty hard! And you wouldn’t want to disappoint your wife,
now, would you? You’ll see on the DVD
what happens to boys who don’t please their –

Oh stop panicking! I’m
just trying to get into it. Fantasy? Remember? Just fantasy? All
right, I won’t say anything. We’ll just watch. But hurry up and get down there, OK? She’s going to start winding the wire around his neck soon.

A daily act of brutality

Unusually for me, a themed post. See if you can guess the theme.

All images taken from the public spaces of “The British Institution”, or tumblrs, not from behind the paywall to my knowledge.

Well worth a visit – once you’re in, you’ll find you can’t leave. Not for five years anyway, even with good behaviour.

http://www.thebritishinstitution.com

Entrapment

Just a short one…too long for a caption.

Well, she thought, that had gone even more smoothly than she
had expected. He’d practically begged her to tie him up. She wondered whether he’d
played kinky games like this before, with one or other of the women whose
existence she’d discovered using his phone at the weekend.

He can tell me all about it later, she thought, stretching
luxuriously. Every last detail.

She smiled, and poked him gently with the heel of one of the
kinky boots. They’d been a good investment anyway, even if she was going to
wear them only once. And the corset. Ridiculous,
uncomfortable things. In a moment, she’d go and take them off and come back
wearing something a lot more comfortable. She wondered whether that would be
the point at which he’d realise it wasn’t a kinky sex game?

Or maybe it wouldn’t finally sink in until he caught sight
of the tools she was planning to use on him.

Dealing with feelings of sexual inadequacy

Here are some ladies who know exactly how to do that.

I find it quite hard to find condoms in my size, actually. I used to think it was because I was so unusually small, but actually a kindly pharmacist once explained to me that there are quite a lot of men this small – it’s just that they never get to have any sex, so there’s not much of a market for condom makers. That made me feel a lot better.

Actually, that sort of failure rarely happens to me. I usually find I can make women laugh, one way or another.

I wouldn’t recommend a visit to the Young Goddess site these days, unless you’re really into self-loathing, as the guy who ran it got religion and decided that all of this is sinful. Which of course, it is. Still…I guess that means he’s relinquished copyright on everything?

Sorry. Too embarassing a memory to talk about. Move on please, move on.

That Raoul. I’m sure he’s cheating on her. Last time, I bought eight condoms and when I came round the next day to clean up, I only found six that he’d used. Men can be such beasts…I don’t know what she sees in him.

She had to have the last one put down. He was just too yappy. It wasn’t an easy decision, though, and she made the mistake of looking back and catching his eye when she left him at the vet for the last time. A tear or two was shed that night, I can tell you, as she thought of him alone in his cage at the vet’s waiting for the lethal injection the next morning. But she’s sure it was for the best.

Quite a combination, there, Mistress T of Vancouver to the left, Goddess Lexi Sindel to the right, and Mistress Mina Thorne in the middle. [With thanks to commenters for one identification]