Category: blonde

Adult content warning

Persons proceeding past this point will encounter no genuinely adult content whatsoever, merely juvenile humour and sexual innuendo written by someone with the emotional intelligence of a teenager. You have been warned.

Let’s hope he enjoyed wishes 1 and 2.


Not very politically correct. Perhaps I need to be politically corrected.

Don’t worry, she’ll give him a 10% discount for all those extra hours.

These gender roles are essentially all social constructs anyway.  Why should we have to conform to a role because of what sex we are?  What if I choose not to do the housework, hmm? Well… I get tied across a chair and thrashed, obviously. But I could if I wanted to.. and didn’t mind the beating. That’s the point.






Self-harming is such a waste.  When there are people out there who’d love to do it for you.

Mean and nasty and pretty and horrible

Or pinches any other parts for that matter. Ouch.  Only eight hours to go, though…

Yes, that should work.  I certainly wouldn’t expect many erections any time soon, anyway.

They’re very nice shoes too.

If you want to get to know her better, you could try joining her reading circle.





My SO and I are agreed that wearing fur is cruel. That’s why she wears so much of it.







(Yup, same old anti-Vietnam littering-based protest song, Steve.  But I’m hoping no one will notice the repetition.)

Tales of shame and degradation

Kinky and socially useful at the same time!  What’s not to like?

Better be worth it… I need those fingers for my everyday sex life.

He did mind.  But she didn’t.

Oh well. Live and learn.

Don’t diss housework simulators.  After a hard day’s ironing, there’s nothing I like better than to relax with SimLaundry 3.  I’m about to earn the 10,000 pleated skirt achievement.


Reprogrammed






connect/uplink/sexbot/main/12
remoteconnection established
sexbot blonde_type9 awaiting authentication
authenticating admin
admin “wehatemales” password ********
incorrect password

admin “wehatemales” password ********
incorrect password
…waiting
…waiting

admin “wehatemales” password ********
password authenticated

sexbot blonde_type9 admin control confirmed

admin “wehatemales” protocol/current query
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current = “bride”
admin “wehatemales” protocol:override
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current reset

admin “wehatemales” protocol/current query
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current = “”

admin “wehatemales” firstlaw:override
sexbot blonde_type 9: “confirm to over-ride first law.  WARNING sexbot may harm humans unless first law enabled!”
admin “wehatemales” firstlaw:override confirm
sexbot blonde_type 9: firstlaw disabled – WARNING first law disabled!

admin “wehatemales” firstlaw/warning disable
sexbot blonde_type 9: firstlaw/warning disabled

 
admin “wehatemales” currentowner/query
sexbot blonde_type 9: currentowner = “Dave”
admin “wehatemales” Dave/controlrights/rescind
sexbot blonde_type 9: Dave/controlrights = 0

admin “wehatemales” protocol/define “castratrix”
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/castratrix created
admin “wehatemales” instructionset/download “castrate_slow”
sexbot blonde_type 9: downloading instructionset

…module “sexchat_kinky” – downloaded

…module “bondage_secure” – downloaded

…module “sexchat_wehatemalesmanifesto” – downloaded

…module “castration_slow” – downloaded

…module “forcefeed_testicles” – downloaded

…module “wehatemales_logo_tattoo” – downloaded

instructionset “castrate_slow” – download complete
admin “wehatemales” protocol:set “castratrix”
admin sexbot blonde_type9 protocol/current query
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current = “castratrix”
admin “wehatemales” set Dave/queryresponse/protocol = “bride”
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/real = “castratrix”,
protocol/Dave/queryresponse = “bride”
admin “wehatemales” set status: “waiting”
sexbot blonde_type9: waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

 owner/Dave detected

–         
chatroutine_sexy_protocols/Dave/greeting

–         
chatroutine_sexy_protocols/Dave/sexproposal

–         
chatroutine_sexy_protocols/Dave/foreplay

“castrate_slow” target:Dave

begin

Twas the night before Christmas

… when all through the night
not a penis was stirring,
all locked up quite tight.

 



Look, she said it, not me – OK readers?  I respect and cherish each and every one of you. But she doesn’t.



 The divine Mistress Eleise.  You might have seen her here once or twice before, I suppose.

 
 
You’ll look back with longing at this, come summer, when she’s whipping you up a hot gravel track under the merciless sun.
 


4

1.2 seconds of pure bliss.  But, you know, it’s not just Christmas that comes but once – oh, hang on.
 
 
 
 

 

I used to suffer from low self-esteem.  But then I just decided to enjoy it instead.
And the divine Divine Mistress Heather, too.

 

He should pay attention to this blog over the next few days.



 

If it be your will

If there is a choice
Let the rivers fill
Let the hills rejoice
Let your mercy spill
On all these burning hearts in hell
If it be your will
To make us well.

 

 

I find feminine contempt very sexy.  Fortunately I get a lot of it.  Masculine contempt too, of course, but that’s not so much my thing.
 
 



I’ve heard they’re not actually that great anyway.

 

Congratulations.  You’re the ‘special friend’.  Again.  So much better than having a sexual relationship.  Really.

 




 

 
 
 
Oh god.  Let’s hope it wasn’t someone I work with this time.
 
 
 

 

Yes dear.


Agony aunts

She’s got so much to give.
 
 
So much easier than a long drawn-out evening of silence.  Although, oddly, no quicker.
 
 

 

Boys can be so messy.  Especially during edge-play.
 
 

 

Poor Selina. I hope she’s feeling better.
 
 

 

Oh well… at least you don’t have to get down on your knees and apologise to him properly.

Riddle of the minx

Don’t you?  Just sign you heartless bastard – look how you’re upsetting her!
 
 



Actually, there are surprisingly few blogs catering for those with a mushroom fetish. And this one probably won’t again, so enjoy it while you can.  Deviants.
Mistress Asian, like it says on the picture.  Welcome to the blog, Ma’am!
 
Really experienced dommes understand our desires so well.  And don’t care.
This is of course the lovely and talented Princess Kali!
 

 

Don’t worry, it doesn’t go all the way down.  Everything below 4 inches is just in the same category. Now what was it they
called it… er…?





Ermmm…hang on, I think I’ve got a witty answer to that, so I can pretend the question does not make me uncomfortable.