blimey its got the lot – Contemplating the divine

She must be right

We want to hear happy positive words: specifically your online banking details.

Can you believe the ungratitude – and look at all the effort she’s making, you can see that just from his back.

After all this time not able to get an erection, it’ll be nice to be doing that again. Up – zap! – and down. And up again and – zap! Aaanndd….

There are twenty-four verses but I’ve spared you that.

This is the firm and very fair Tamara Kenworthy. Look at the determination on that face – I can only hope her husband learns to appreciate his luck.

If you’re worried about any darts missing the board and piercing you in the neck or face, don’t be. It’s going to be on a long cord, so it’ll be hanging lower down your body than that, just about over your stomach.

Or you could maintain your dignity and accept a spanking and early bedtime without supper, if you don’t want to demean yourself.

Never underestimate the power of male stupidity

It’s a force of nature. So are these ladies, fortunately.

Ah yes: trigonometry. That’s all about how much longer diagonal lines are than horizontal ones, isn’t it? And they’re a lot more painful too, if they overlay the earlier ones.

As the famous quote goes: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of irritating subs who need to learn their place and not question their Goddess.” Or something like that.

I once told my SO I thought she ought to pay more attention to my opinions, but I stupidly chose a bad moment for it: apparently it’s rude to talk to someone when they’re sitting on the toilet. Fortunately, I don’t think she heard what I was trying to say.

Many men find corner time a frustrating waste of time, but I’m usually happy standing there: thinking of all the things she cares about that I’m not fucking up during those hours.

It’s OK to cry. Which is just as well… I don’t know how I’d cope with marriage if it wasn’t.

So did they. Until they didn’t. Anyway, line-writing *can* be part of a loving female-led relationship: I should know, I’ve written that out hundreds if not thousands of times now.

The nymphs tread out their ground, fa la

.. for now is the month of Maying. Fa la la la la la la la.

A latex-shining session? Pah – that’s practically vanilla. You’ve got a proper femdom activity booked, you have, so go ahead and enjoy every authentic moment of it.

That’s a shame, as the date was going quite well up to that point. Maybe they’ll leave you their phone numbers.

My SO is fine with me deciding for myself what I want to eat when we go out to a restaurant. She doesn’t usually let me have it, of course.

Don’t worry, she’s only planning to shoot to wound. Much more fun that way.

The shapely ankles and calves within these elegant boots belong to Miss Chambers, of Cruella fame. Now if only we could see her lovely, lovely nose too.

That’s a good clause. I have it tattooed on me, just in case I ever forget.

Oh, and as a little bonus, I just discovered this delightful thing and felt compelled to share it.

#Chris Pine from Entertainment Weekly

She looked like something special

…the kind who’d understand.

Perhaps she’ll bring you a treat.

Where there’s a will – and strong pelvic muscles, restraints and plenty of lube – there’s a way.

Some valuable soft skills there, to complement the hard skill set many of the senior staff already have.

If men’s libbers feel oppressed, they’ve got no one to blame but themselves.

Raoul has a gay friend! Sign of the times. Maybe he’s moving on from those ridiculous old-fashioned attitudes.

Loving tyranny

But if we’re going to have a talk then surely I shouldn’t be wearing a gag? I don’t think she’s thought this through.

After the war, those that survived the mission never spoke about what they went through. They did their duty, that’s all anyone needs to know.

My SO is almost like a human lie detector. When I know I’ve done something wrong and she questions me about it, my heart starts racing and I go into a cold sweat.

My SO loves acting out teasing and denial fantasies. Admittedly, we’ve only tried it once but it’s going very, very well.

It’s her book club choice, so the house’ll be full of her friends eager to discuss it, at the weekend. Better get the drinks and nibbles in.

Managed care

Well, I hope she finds something to amuse herself with while you’re busy with all that.

You get to wear a nightie just like hers, too.

And she has a lot more than ten commandments.

I find I do some of my best thinking over a trestle. I think about stuff a lot when I’m there.

Wow. I think that’s the niceest compliment any girl has ever paid me.

Oh, go on then.

Last of the summer whines. A bumper crop.

Well, there we go. The summer clearance sale. 60 captioned photos in just over two weeks.

But I have another 840 unpublished on my computer, so we have a while to go yet…

Leashed to a frenzy

It’s nearly time for your next session anyway. Might as well just stay.

She loves him really.

Won’t be saying that again. Or anything else, I imagine.

Poor thing. Still another 20 minutes of the session to go. Her hand must be so sore.

I wonder what she does with them all? It’s only a small apartment.

Giving until it hurts

… and indeed beyond.

Poor things. Their fingers must have been awfully cold. You’d think the film-makers could have provided gloves or something. Men can be so thoughtless, can’t they?

I hope they don’t lace it too tight. But they probably will, knowing them.

Sometimes, in a relationship, an apology isn’t even needed.

Looks like you’re in for another uncomfortable evening.

Ten minutes. What can we do for ten minutes… hmmm. I wonder if she’s feeling generous?

Making him pay

nnnn nnnNNN NNNGGG! nngg nnnng!

Oh well. It’ll be agony this time, around, but…it’s not as if you masturbate often. Is it?

Oddly, I understand this is one exception to the rule ‘everything tastes like chicken’. It just doesn’t.

This is from a lovely English Mansion clip, much of which can be found here. I just love the way Mistress Neive (the blonde one) giggles. ‘Hee hee hee’. Somehow the way she’s slightly self-conscious makes it even sexier.

Good thing you’re into humiliation. You’ll be getting lots of that.

Actually, it’ll be quite a bit cheaper than having it done back in a properly equipped facility in the First World. More holiday spending money – can’t object to that!