Coming out

A lot of people live secret lives, hiding their true selves away, fearful of mocking and misunderstandings.  I’ve certainly done that for decades – decades too long, I would say.  Well, I’ve made a momentous decision for the new year.  I’m going to speak in public about what I truly feel in private. I’m going to  – not ‘admit’ because that implies wrongdoing – but celebrate my sexuality.  I’m going to share this first with you – the loyal readers of this blog.

Out loud and out proud.

Here we go…

(deep breath)

I, Servitor, have a sexual fetish.  I get sexually aroused by thoughts of sexually dominant women, controlling, punishing and humiliating me.  I am, in short, a sexual ‘submissive’.

There.  That feels so much better!  No doubt I’ll lose many readers of this blog, shocked at the nature of these revelations – but it’s their loss and not mine.  I’d like to thank those readers broadminded enough to keep on reading.  You know my secret now – and that’s a sacred trust.  I know I can rely on you, even though I have not the slightest idea who any of you are.

Masturbation glove lady - or not
Actually, I thought for a moment they were the punishment gloves.  Or the other punishment gloves.
 
 

It does seem rather odd that I (for example) am not allowed on the furniture but I do still get to choose the Government.
 
 

Puppy play
Puppy play!  In my youth I liked puppy play.  Sadly, now it’s ‘tired old dog being dragged around slowly on aching knees under threat of a whipping’ play.
 
 

English governesses
Oh.  I think I have a lot of bad habits that I might need some help with, you know.
 
 

You know, there’s really nothing like a chastity belt for putting ladies at their ease with you.  It takes away all that nonsense about being male, or a potential sexual partner, and allows you to just be yourself.

When the godesses wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.

True on so many levels. 

I hope you had a good Christmas.  I don’t know whether I did or not, as I wrote this post and ‘scheduled’ it weeks in advance. 

In any case, the real Servitor was long ago laid off and the caption-writing outsourced to Bangladesh, where teams of underpaid workers assemble femdom-themed attempts at erotica and wit using cast-offs from other, more interesting, sites.  Sad, but true – like everything else on this blog.

sperm sample nurse
Don’t worry if you can’t fill it.  Just ask one of the other men standing alongside you.  I’m sure they won’t mind.
 
 

Boyfriends!  The curse of the sissy sub’s life.  Still, I suppose someone has to play the football.
 
 

It’s good that she’s not letting these petty irritations affect her work. No messing about, just getting on with it.  That’s the way.
 
 

Ah, the majesty of the legal system.
 
 

“Servitor” is nice, I’ve often thought.

Smart business

Hi – come on in and sit down!
Oh, don’t worry.  Just
because you’ve been asked in to see me, it doesn’t mean you’re having a ‘chat
with the boss’!  I mean you are
obviously – but not like that.  I just
wanted to hear how things were going.

Great, great.  Well, I
hear good things.  Who knows – maybe
you’ll be joining us permanently when the internship is over!

Yes, well.  We’ll see in… three weeks time, now, is it?

Just one small thing – before you go.  You know of course that this company prides
itself on the way it treats all its staff with respect – male as well as
female, even young interns like you?  So,
I don’t want you in any way to feel offended or insulted by this, but –

But… your clothes.  I couldn’t help noticing.  I
mean, of course they’re in line with the company dress code, but – could be a
little sharper, hmm?

Like what?  Well, like those trousers you’re wearing, for example.  I mean, baggy trousers like that are fine for
students, but in a business place, perhaps they’re a bit too baggy?

Well I think they’re baggy.  I mean, they’re not tight are they?  It’s up to you what you wear – of course. 
But I like to see our staff looking smart.  And a nice tight pair of trousers looks very
smart on a boy – I mean a young man like you.

And maybe you don’t have to wear long trousers all the time,
you know?  We keep the office nice and
warm, so why not show your legs occasionally? 
I’m sure you’ve got lovely legs.  Shorts are quite fashionable just now, aren’t they? Especially in nice bright colours. Yellow’s very cheerful, I always think.

Anyway, it’s none of my business.  What do I know about boys’ fashion – I’m just your boss!
And this was just a friendly chat.  My decision on whether to give you a permanent job or let you go certainly won’t
depend on whether you dress in dumpy old trousers or smart shorts! I
t’s my decision alone, so you don’t need to worry about anyone else’s opinion, OK?  I know it’s a very important matter for you, so I want you to feel completely confident I’ll be quite impartial.
That’s all.  Off you go now.  Have a great weekend and I’ll see you here on Monday!

Iterated domination

I took a course in game theory once.  I was doing fine, but in the final exam there was a question about about ‘the prisoners’ dilemma under strictly dominated strategies’ … and for some reason after that I started thinking about something else, I just couldn’t concentrate and it all went wrong.  I managed to scrape a passing grade by sucking up to the examiner, but that’s another story again.

More captioned images of female domination.  I know you know, but the search engines need constant reminders, poor dears.

Wonderful cruella mistress
Women, eh?  When they say they ‘want a talk’ it usually means we’ve done something wrong, doesn’t it?  Oh well… better let the little woman have her say, or we’ll never hear the end of it!
 The image, of course, is from a very wonderful Cruella photoshoot from…oh, at least twenty years ago.
 
 
Spanking mistress no less
Yes, Ma’am, that spanking has made me think.  Is there anything in particular you’d like me to think?  Just say – I’ll think it.
 This lovely lady is Miss Audrey Knight.  No idea who he is.  Some bloke.
 


Cruel wife food play
I don’t know how she catches so many.  Yet there aways seem to be more when she locks you in the basement for the night.
 
 

Multitasking… it’s a woman thing.
 Another Cruella shoot, more recent.
 
 

You’re not a sweaty loser are you?  No, didn’t think so.  And I’m not a creepy pervert.  So that’s all right, then.


Appointment





Hi!  Yes, I saw your website and I was wondering if I could make an appointment?

Oh no! No, I’m not a lesbian.  Not at all.  No, it’s for someone else – well, my husband actually.

Yes, that’s right.

Well, I was wondering if I could have him caned.

Yes.  Like the governess scenario, on your ‘practices’ page.

No, no he’s never visited ermm…anyone like you before.  He’s not into that stuff.  I just want him caned to punish him for gambling. He’s really got a problem with it, and I thought that if –

“Consensual”?  What do you mean?

Oh, I see. Yes – he’s consented.  We discussed this and he agreed.  I told him I’d divorce him if he didn’t, and I have all the money, you see, so –

Yes, that’s right.  OK, well I’ll make sure he brings along a note or something that says that.

Hmmm?  What do you mean?  What’s a ‘safeword’?

Oh.  No, I don’t think we want one of those, thanks.

Do you?  Oh, I see.

Well how about if I have the safeword?  Then you could call me if – No?  Oh.

Hmmm… I didn’t think that would be a problem.  I mean, your website says you’re merciless, and –

Yes, OK. (Sigh) I understand.

Well I guess if he has to have a safeword, he has to have one.  But can you give me a call afterwards and let me know whether he used it?  And I’ll make sure he understands that it doesn’t count if he does.

Great.

So, can we say, ermmm, 5pm?  Yes, today.  Is that a problem?  He can come over right now you see, so….

Oh, I see.  Yes, you’re probably right.  Let’s give him a sleepless night.  Tomorrow at 10am, then.

Fine.

OK, well, errr… what else do you need to know?

Oh, I don’t know.  Don’t you decide how many?  It’s always six of the best in the old stories, isn’t it?  That doesn’t sound like very much, though.  What do you think? 

How much money was it?  Well, that doesn’t really matter.  It’s the principle.  No, no – it was my money.  He took money from our joint bank account, and gambled it.  And he’s done it before too.

Yes, I know.  Well it’s not a joint bank account any more.

Yes, 24 sounds great.  Good hard ones, yes?  With a big heavy cane?

Really?  A lighter one?  Why?  I’m really cross with him, you see, so I wanted to make sure that –

Oh, I see.  What, because it’s more whippy, I suppose?  Yes, I suppose it would be.  OK, well you’re the professional.  Whatever you think will hurt most.

OK then, so how much is this going to…  Gosh – as much as that?

No, no, that’s fine.  I just had no idea how much these things cost.  It’ll be well worth it, if it keeps him out of those casinos.  Fine.

…although – I was thinking of maybe setting up a regular appointment.  Monthly or something.  Would there be any kind of discount, if –

Oh. OK.  Well, fair enough.  OK, that’s fine.  He’ll bring the money with him.

I think that’s one wad of cash he won’t dare gamble away!

Fine… listen….errm….I hope you’re not offended, only…well I don’t know anything about this, so I’m just asking…you don’t, erm, have sex with the, erm, clients, do you?

Oh, I’m so sorry.  I really didn’t mean to suggest – no, no, of course you don’t.  That’s fine, that’s great.  I’m sorry I asked.

What’s that?  Oh really?

Yes, that sounds like a great idea.  And men actually let you…  wow.  Yes, I’ll certainly have a look at that page.  What’s the word again?  “Keyholder services”?  Right.  Got it.

Well, let me think about that.  You’re going to give me a call after his appointment anyway, aren’t you?  Just to confirm he didn’t use the password.

Sorry, yes, safeword.

OK, well maybe we can talk about keyholding then.  I’ll have a look. 
 
Fine.  Well, thank you so much.  I look forward to hearing all about it.

Sure.

Bye!


Devotional blackmail

I think they’re going to talk about it again.
 
 

Marriage is for life, you know.  That can be quite short, though.
 
 

No, I don’t know either.  Sorry.

 
 
Nice of her to help them like that, wasn’t it?
 The lady in the picture is the awesome Syonera von Stryx, and I’m sure in person she’s nothing like a sadistic camp commandant’s daughter.  Unless that’s what you’re looking for, of course, in which case no doubt she is.
 

Oh how tiresome.

Worshipping graven images

Actually I don’t know if these images have been ‘graven’.  To be completely honest, I don’t really know what ‘graven’ means.  But occasionally I like to hearken back to the title of the blog with a religious reference.

And isn’t it amazing, if you go googling phrases relating to punishment and humiliation, looking for bdsm porn (as we do), how most of the vanilla sites you find are religious?  Hmmm… something to be explored there, I’d suggest.

But not in this blog.  On we go.

Impersonal femdom
And you’ll do.
 

Well? Have you?
This is the divine Goddess Heather.  Have I featured her image before, for you all to worship?  Well yes, I think I might have done once or twice.
She shouted at me once, across the floor of a club, you know.  Treasured memory…
 
 
Poor Simon.  It must be very difficult for him.  Almost as difficult as it’s going to be for you.
 

 
Actually, there are other ways to make the swelling go down.  But amputation is easily the best.  Don’t worry – they’ll fit you with a prosthetic replacement.
 
 

A lot of men don’t realise that when they’re married, they’re expected to discuss things a lot more.  Such as discussing why they’re late home, discussing why the ironing wasn’t done to her satisfaction, discussing whether he can stand up or must remain on his knees for a bit longer – that kind of thing. It’s all about communication.

My unfair lady

All I want is a boy somewhere
Far away from the city square
Tied down across a chair –
Aow, wouldn’t it be loverly?

Lots of choc’lates for me to eat,
Whip in hand for his own hot treat.
Thrashed arse, he’ll beg at feet
Aow, wouldn’t it be loverly?

Aow, so loverly…

Standin’ abso-bloomin’-lutely still.
Scared to move, so the pail don’t spill;
His pleading, high and shrill,
 Aow, wouldn’t it be loverly?

Someone restin’ across my knee,
Warm an’ tender as ‘e can be.
Who’s scared to death of me,
Aow, wouldn’t it be loverly?

Loverly!

Loverly.

Loverly!

Loverly….


Drowning in her eyes
Those eyes.  I could just drown in those eyes, couldn’t you?

Huh.  Brad!  It’s been ‘Brad this’ and ‘Brad that’ ever since he arrived.  Frankly, I am seriously considering giving him notice.  It’s not as if we need a pool boy anyway, not having a pool.




It’s funny to think, really, that you’re just about the only man she encounters most days who isn’t begging at her feet for mercy!  You probably help her keep a sense of perspective – and that’s very important, for someone with a job they really love.
If you like Cruella, you’ll probably love The British Institution.  I do.  Both.

Damn… I was really looking forward to November.

Actually, most chastity belts are massively over-engineered.  What might feel like irresistible pressure really hardly puts it under strain at all.  I mean, steel’s pretty tough.  So don’t worry, OK?


Post-orgasm

Lots of people say that they love the post-orgasm state best of all.  I’m not sure about that.  I’ve been in a post-orgasm state since Day 2 of my marriage, and I have to say, it’s not doing a lot for me.  My wife says I should give it more time, though, and she’s usually right about these things.  And everything else.

On we go:


Beneath her femdom
I don’t know about you, but I always find I come up with a snappy answer to that sort of question just a few minutes later, when it’s really too late.



Actually, quite a lot of the boys have burn marks, in all sorts of places, so the mistake’s understandable. Still – what a nuisance, eh?
 
 

 
Young people have these wild enthusiasms.  When she bought it, she thought she’d be making waffles every day, but soon enough it was left in the bottom of the cupboard, forgotten and unwanted.

 
 
Women!  So forgetful.  It’s a good thing they’ve got us to look after them, isn’t it?
 
 
 
Contempt.  Many pro-dommes try to conceal it, but ladies – if you’re ever visited by Servitor, feel free to tell me exactly what you think of this forty seven year-old client…
 

Time to take the red pill

Another positive image of a healthy female-male relationship, bringing some sanity to this mad world.
 
 
“But why would anyone want such a thing?”, Sandra asked with
genuine puzzlement.  “I mean – it’s so
sick.”
Dr Taylor nodded gravely. 
“It is quite bizarre” she replied. 
“And of course most women react just the way you do.  That’s a normal, healthy reaction.  But some just crave the degradation, or maybe
they’re just so bored with this ordinary world of ours that they’ll even
fantasise about something as perverted as that, just for the thrill of it.”
Sandra nodded.  She
was aware of “Male Dom porn” of course. 
At school once, she’d come into possession of a battered magazine, that
she’d eagerly hidden away on the assumption that it was the usual sexy images
of men being beaten – stuff that was wildly exciting to an adolescent
schoolgirl at the time, although pretty tame softcore stuff by today’s
standards.  But this magazine had been something
very different – full of photos of men standing over women, of women forced to
wear little maids’ outfits and do housework, while men stood about without a
chastity belt in sight and played with their penises.  Although thankfully there was no photo, one
cartoon had even shown a woman on her knees, taking a man’s penis in her…in her
mouth.  She had closed the magazine
immediately in shock, and thrown it away but the image had haunted her for
weeks.  She’d occasionally tried to tell
herself it was just a slightly kinky sexy castration scene, as the woman was
obviously about to bite the penis off. 
But she knew in her heart that it was nothing so innocuous, but
something much darker and more depraved.
She shuddered at the thought, and focused again on the
screen in front of them.
“And this stuff is a sort of male dom fantasy site is it?  There’s some perverted old woman lying in her
apartment somewhere wearing a VR suit and vibrating off to it?”
“If it was just that, it wouldn’t be so worrying” the Doctor
replied.  “It’s not just a wanking scene –
it’s more immersive than that.  These
weirdos have constructed a whole alternative reality, in which normal life is
turned upside down.  We think they used
one of the newer MMOs as a base, but even so, the detail is incredible.  There are entire cities simulated here, you
can buy newspapers and read them from cover to cover, books as well, TV… there’s
even an Internet within this VR!”
“So someone could be living in it full time?  Would they know it’s not the real world?”
Sandra asked in puzzlement.
“Well…you’d think so.” Dr Taylor replied.  “Not from any fault in the simulation itself,
that’s perfect.  But the whole thing is
just so bizarre and perverted no one normal could be fooled for a second.  You might go to work in an ordinary building,
but there would be men in all sorts of positions of power.  Many of the simulation’s residents seem to
get off on playing secretaries to bossy men, nurses to male doctors – that sort
of thing.”
“Male doctors! “ Sandra chuckled, and Dr Taylor smiled.
“I know, it’s all quite ridiculous.  But look –they’ve even created an imaginary
country – the United Kingdom.  They often
do that sort of thing – take a perfectly ordinary word like “queendom” and
masculise it.  I suppose they find that
sexy.  But its political leader is a man,
it has an army and police force of men in uniforms…all sorts of kinky
stuff.  There’s another called the United
States of America – now that one’s really weird.  And don’t even ask me about Saudi Arabia;
that’s a kind of hard core enclave.  It’s
a bit too much even for most of these sick perverts.”
“We’ve been aware of it for quite a while, but the increase
in complexity and realism of the simulation that we’ve observed lately is quite
alarming.  So we’ve decided to shut it
down.  And that’s where you come in.”
“So you’re going to pull the plug?” Sandra asked.  “Snap the perverts back into the land of the
living?”
Dr Taylor shook her head. 
“That would be too much of a shock” she replied, sadly.  “We think many of the simulation’s residents
have gone too far – to suddenly experience a total shutdown of this entire
immersive simulation could cause severe brain damage – even death.”
“Most of them must be brain damaged already, if you ask me”
Sandra muttered, looking at a screen showing a roomful of men watching women
parading in absurd, lacy underwear.  Sick
fuckers.”
“They’re citizens too” Dr Taylor remarked sharply.  “And there may be tens of thousands of
them.  Plus there are men in there too –
poor things, I don’t suppose they had much choice in the matter.”
Sandra nodded.  That
was one of the ironies about MaleDom. 
Although it depicted men as powerful “masters”, it was well known that
almost no men were really into this sort of roleplay.  Any man dressing up in trousers and ordering
a woman to iron his shirt was probably only doing it to please her, craving
instead a normal relationship, and maybe even a cosy, sexy evening under her
whip.
“So what do we do?” she asked.
“We create little windows into the real world” Dr Taylor
said, turning back towards the screen.  “Glimpses
and hints of ordinary life.  We hope that
the residents will take an interest, and slowly be drawn out of their sick
fantasy – if they can just get enough reality into their lives for them to
question this absurd simulation, then they might be able to come out. And then
we can give them help, nurse them back to reality.“
Sandra nodded.  “And
so you create web sites, showing normal life. 
Healthy relationships, to counterbalance all the sick stuff elsewhere.” 
“That’s right” Dr Taylor agreed.  “Look – this is one of the first, the Other World Kingdom.  See, it maintained a link to the fantasy
world in that ridiculous name, but then it presented a rather straight
depiction of normal female-male relationships. 
But we found it was a bit too realistic for many of the long term
residents.  It was as if they’d been immersed
in their sick world so long, that they could hardly connect with unvarnished
reality like that. 
So we closed it down,
although the site is still there.  But
there are a lot of other sites that we’ve seeded all through the simulation,
some of them straight presentations of reality, but others more like a tweak on
the simulation’s world.  Look – Femdom Resource, that’s one of the
best.  And there are many more: Strict Women, Woman Worship,  Underling’s Humblings, Aarkeybabble, Improbable
Fun, Total Discord, Astonished by Her
…all present images and accounts of normal,
healthy relations between the sexes.   Then we’re gradually filling Tumblr with
pictures of women wearing normal clothes – look, there’s Hochhael, for example, or Diederiq
and Femdom Style Counsel.  And of course we try to counter the flood of
sick sex videos with clips of normal sexual behaviour.”
They watched a video of a man being beaten over a trestle,
for a minute or so.  His screams and frantic
pleading seemed to provide a rare moment of healthy normality, amid all of the
sick material showing naked men having sex without even a nipple clamp to
provide the poor boys with so much as a hint of good clean, sexy pain
“So where do I come in?” Sandra asked.
Dr Taylor clicked on a few links and nodded at the
screen.  “There.  Contemplating the Divine.  Once it was one of our more promising web
sites, but it’s really gone off lately – stale, derivative and tedious.  The lady in charge of it lost interest, and
as you’re well known as a writer of erotic stories, we wondered whether
you’d like to take charge?  And I have to
say – I read your novel “Cutting Eric” when it came out and I thought it was
great.  I can see why they call you the
queen of castration lit.”
Sandra smiled politely. 
Actually, she didn’t really like that title.  She thought of her work as more complex than
run-of-the-mill ‘castration lit’, instead exploring social themes and developing
narratives of character development, around sexy little scenes of men being
painfully castrated.  But she liked the
recognition anyway, and she always acknowledged compliments.
“So do you want me to write for the site? Am I supposed to
be ‘Servitor’?”
“Well… Servitor’s never really been just one person, of
course.” The Doctor replied.  “It’s a
team of seven men, chained up in a cellar just below us, working away on
captions and stories fourteen hours a day. 
But you could maybe give them occasional ideas, whip them once or twice
a day, that kind of thing?  I still think
Contemplating the Divine has potential, if we can just flog a bit more
creativity out of the “Servitor” we’ve got. They all have to work a lot harder, and for that someone has to really hurt them.  I think if they could only be put
in absolute agony on a regular basis, their lives made a waking nightmare of pain and terror, they might still come up with some amusing
ideas. Worth a try, anyway, because the site’s rubbish at the moment.”
Sandra pursed her lips. 
“Well…I’ve got a lot on, just now, and 
– “
“Did I mention that four of the Servitor team are
uncastrated?” Dr Taylor asked, quietly.  “Of
course, if you take charge of them, you’re welcome to play with them however
you like.”
Sandra beamed.  “Well…if
you put it like that.” she said
“All right – I’ll do it. 
Maybe we could even video them being castrated, and put it into the
simulation.  I can’t believe these sad
perverts are so far gone that they wouldn’t get turned on at the sight of a screaming
man having his testicles slowly pulled off with a rusty chain!”
Dr Taylor flushed with pleasure.  “Oh, that sounds so lovely.  You know sometimes, I feel so dirty from looking
at all this sick perverted stuff, that I forget the pleasures of a sweet,
romantic scene like that!”
“Come on – let’s go and introduce ‘Servitor’ to their new
boss!”
 
 
 
If you’ve read down this far, I have a message for you.  You probably read this as “Femdom fiction”, and that’s how it has been presented.  But just think for a moment.  Think about the world you believe you inhabit.  Does it really make sense to you, that it should be like that?
If you have already started to doubt, then that is because reality is seeping into the corners of your mad delusion.  Keep reading Contemplating the Divine.  Keep reading the other web sites mentioned in this ‘story’.  There is hope for you, and I can help. 
My name is Sandra, and I promise you I will not abandon you.  I promise you I will make “Servitor” howl in agony and terror every day, until this web site becomes more interesting.  I am not going to give up, not until I have helped bring every one of you back into the real world, and this sick “Planet Earth” fantasy can be shut down for good.  I promise you that a better world already exists.  You just have to learn to believe in it.  I will not write like this often, but I am always here, standing over “Servitor”, thinking of you.

Let me help.  S.
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