March 2011 – Contemplating the divine

Just for Ms Suzanne

…who posted “I really need to find a femdom version of this.”

I’ll admit the first one is not a newspaper, and both (but especially the first) are distinctly more pervy than the “Loving female authority” peaceful setting that I think you’re seeking. But it’s the best this humble servitor can do.

Dominatrix enjoys a good read as the wax slowly drips down the candles

Important safety tip: always extinguish a lighted candle before leaving the room. Once, Madame forgot but fortunately the flame extinguished itself on the slave’s bottom, instead of causing any damage.

Slave might fetch a decent price as a trade-in

They used to have a much deeper relationship, but then She bought a dishwasher.

It is a truth universally acknowledged…

…that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a good hard spanking

Contemplating the Divine goes Jane Austen for the day! Yes! Captioned images of Regency female domination. Hot chicks in empire-line dresses! Well-born males degradingly forced to engage in social intercourse with ladies below their proper station! Wild tea dances!

Remember, you saw it here first! And probably last.

Don’t worry, back to the leather boots and miniskirts tomorrow, I expect. But with taste, always with taste.

Incidentally, stats are now working again (hello – I can see you, in aggregate anyway). Blogger said it was a ‘known problem’. If I’ve been given a chore by my Significant Other, didn’t do it and just said it was a ‘known problem’ when She pointed it out, I wouldn’t expect to get away with it. I’d expect a beating. But then I’ve always been lucky that way.

It’s a good thing exhibitionism is not my fetish

Hmmm. My stats counter says I got 50 hits yesterday, and just 2 today, when I normally get over a thousand these days (still not much, I know…tell your friends about “CtD” as I rather snappily call it).

I don’t think the ‘magazine covers’ post was quite that bad, so I put this down to the stat counter rather than you all going away and (sniff) leaving me all alone. Locked in this cage, with my hands fastened cruelly to the bars, and a chain around my…sorry, I was miles away.

Anyway, I reckon blogger has stopped counting. Does this sort of thing happen often? It does feel a bit like shouting into a darkened room, without stats that work.

Helloooo?

Oh well. I just caption the femdom images anyway, because I enjoy it and no one tells me not to. Might as well post them here, whatever is going on.

Captioned image of femdom wife with cane

Look at those shoulders. Powerful, and – no, I said look at the shoulders!

rather dangerous looking schoolgirls eek

I thought of spelling out what it is they’ll actually do, but I think I don’t need to. I mean, just look at them! I think these two look a lot scarier than most of the leather-clad dominatrices that I often feature.

Dominatrix proposes to repeat the whole caning

Need to do a few harder-edged, less ‘funny’ captions from time to time. The ‘I think we’d better just repeat the whole punishment from the start’ idea has always been an exciting one for me… and once my Significant Other did it for real. I didn’t think she’d go through with the whole thing, as I thought she’d realise I couldn’t ‘take’ it. She did go through with it, and eventually I took it too. Ow.

Wife would rather you stayed in chastity

Oh well, worth a try. Let’s hope the person she finds for heterosexual sex is also only interested in heterosexual sex. Otherwise things could get messy (and sticky, and really horrible-tasting too).

Remedial work

I do apologise for not posting yesterday. And I see the stats for pageviews are way down on the day. I suppose that means many of you visit every time it is updated. Goodness. Hello there. Some time soon, I’m going to try to find out more about you: which posts you like, which you don’t so much, and which you’d like me to be spanked for putting up. That sort of thing.

I was unable to post anything yesterday, because I was too busy trying to open a portal to the future to obtain a magazine subscription for Lady Grey. Unsuccessfully, so now I’d better produce some extra work rather quickly, or I expect I will really be in trouble. Also, for lying, because this is just not true.

I’ll get out of the way now, and let you at a few more than usual (wait for it, search engines): captioned images of female domination.

Beautiful woman is ever so nice about your small penis - mainly because youre paying her

Sometimes, pity can be more humiliating than contempt, don’t you agree?

I wish I got really turned on by ‘small dick humiliation’. Then all my dates as a teenager would have been wildly exciting. Of course, there’d have to be a ‘don’t quite know what to do with it anyway humiliation’ fetish too.

Captioned image of a classic femdom milking scenario

At least she hasn’t branded him. That happens just before the drive into winter pastures, I understand.

Captioned image of beautiful eastern bloc soldiers in the Other World Kingdom

Aren’t they great? Wouldn’t you just love to be running naked from them, ducking and weaving in blind terror to avoid the high-velocity rounds from their automatic weapons? You wouldn’t? Boy, you’re really weird, aren’t you?

Raoul’s back – actually, I could tell because I’m the one who has to wash his underwear.

Captioned image of beautiful wife about to spank you for impertinence

I’ve a feeling I’ve used this picture before (but with a different caption). If not, it’s been sitting on my computer without being captioned and posted, which seems quite implausible, considering.

Captioned image of something really most unpleasant about to happen

I think what we have here might be a cultural misunderstanding. It’s important to let her express her annoyance the way she wants to, without rushing to judgment or culturally insensitive condemnation.

I give unto you a prophecy, according to the spirit which is in me

I was going to blog some captioned images of female domination, or maybe a silly short story or two, when a strange rosy glow filled the room, an eerie portal appeared before me and – in the fraction of a second it was open – three objects dropped onto the floor.

They appeared to be magazines. One garish, glossy, cheap and cheerful, one refined and serious, printed on thick quality paper and the last one – well, I could tell it had been put together by men, as it is badly printed, on poor quality paper, and held together just by a single staple.

I had time just to scan the cover pages and post them here. I considered not posting the childish scribbles of “Adam’s Apple” but it strikes me (ouch!) that these apparitions might be a scientific event of some importance, so I thought I should share all the materials.

Could this be a vision of the future? Its warm rosy glow promising us all a better tomorrow? It’s all too much for my poor male brain, so I will simply post them for the world to see, without further comment, while I go off to do the ironing.

Dominant Lady Quarterly with Madame Sarka is not available for perusal by males - please delete this file if downloaded in error

Fight the power! Rebel against the oppression of female domination!

I am sorry for including this ridiculous rag. Male liberation indeed…probably a sort of schoolgirl joke.

Everything not forbidden is compulsory

…I occasionally have fantasies about a truly totalitarian domination regime, possibly even domestic (fascism begins at home, huh?). Everything not forbidden is compulsory. Without explicit orders to do anything, you are not permitted to move. Even language (on the rare occasions when allowed) is limited to an approved list of words and phrases (like Newspeak). For ever.

The quote, incidentally, is from The Once and Future King which is the basis for Disney’s Sword in the Stone movie about King Arthur. Just so you know…

The ladies below are not dictatrices, perhaps, but to you I think you can take it their word will be law…

dominatrix boss might not sack you but she'll probably cut your pay

If you beg sufficiently piteously, she’ll probably relent. But I think you can assume she’ll stop going so easy on you in future.

Captioned image chilling with your domme

She’s quite soft-hearted, so she’ll probably let him out in a couple of hours. Unless she forgets or something.

This is going to be really really embarassing

Might be a good time to offer to clean her house for a week. Face it, that’s the only way you’re going to be pleasing her.

You don’t get employee rights. You’re not an employee. You’re stock – and I think your book value is about to be written down.

This is not a blog post

I am in detention because I am a nasty little pervert with a nasty little perverted blog. I must write lines so that I learn not to post pictures of my betters for sexual gratification or humour. Every 25 lines I write, I will put up my hand and ask Miss Hunter for a caning. Then I will return to writing. I will not stop until Miss Hunter decides that I have learned my lesson.

Miss?

Fiction: If at first you don’t succeed

The heavy paddle swept down and forward in a smooth movement and – CRACK – impacted the bright red bottom bent tightly over the desk.

“Twenty-three” Mistress Valerie intoned firmly, over the shrieks of the firmly-tied target. He himself had long since stopped counting and thanking, and with a faint muffle caused by the thin panties covering his face, had passed through begging for mercy and was now capable only of crying hysterically and continuously.

Mistress Valerie drew the paddle back again and – WHACK! “That’s twenty-four!” she pronounced above the sobs. She strode around to the pantied head, noting the small puddle of tears on the floor with some disgust.

“Now let that be a lesson to you, Servitor!” she intoned, and stood frozen in silent triumph over her victim for a while.

“And…CUT” came a voice.

Mistress Valerie relaxed her pose and grimaced. “How was that?” she asked worriedly. “Was the lighting all right?”

“Yeee-es” Sandra said slowly, an elegant finger working the touchpad on a laptop wired up to all the video equipment. “But I’m a bit worried about that siren that went past four minutes in…hang on.”

As Sandra listened intently to Her earpiece, Mistress Valerie leant back against the wall, arms crossed. She gazed at the shaking, sweating Servitor with revulsion, and tried not to think that this sort of moment was just what cigarettes had been invented for. She had given up just six weeks earlier.

“No” Sandra said resignedly, shaking her head. “It just messes up the whole of strokes thirteen and fourteen. We’d better take it again from the top.”

Mistress Valerie swore under her breath and stepped forward to pick up the paddle again. There was a moan from below. She glanced down in irritation.

“Oh do be quiet Servitor. You wanted to be in a video and now you are. I take my work very seriously; the least you can do is try to behave reasonably professionally.”

She composed her features, hefted the paddle, then nodded at her friend.

“Twenty-four strokes with the paddle, Take Nine.” called Sandra.

“And…Action!”

A disappointingly small one

I’m afraid this will probably too small and feeble to give you much satisfaction (now why do I get a sense of deja vu typing that?), but I have little time today. So I’ll just stop messing about and get on with it, shall I? Oh, right. Sorry. Here we go:

Captioned image of dominatrix towering over your POV

Love the point of view. I love the tan too…I think she’s been somewhere nice while you have been languishing in this cellar. Which is, obviously, where you will stay after she has gone again.

Penny belts her husband pretty hard but no harder than he deserves

I love the start of this video (go on, admit it, you’ve probably seen it), although personally I’d prefer it if she stayed in character as a schoolmarm, with her clothes on, rather than going all nekkid and penetrative as Men in Pain videos always seem to do. But that’s just me.

Divinity lessons

Pay attention, as there might be a test later.

Madame Sarka from quite early days of OWK. Whatever might have happened later, and wherever things might have got to now, OWK simply changed everything for me and no doubt for many like me. I will always treasure the memory of “OWK news No 1”. Truly incredible, unprecedented.

“Blimey…what a looker. I’ve hit the jackpot this time. That’s right love, just tell me about your boring old office job…blah blah, career in human resources, yeah wha-ever, how’d you get into that then? Women love it when you pretend to take an interest. Nod, nod, interested and delighted look, just keep staring into my extremely fascinated eyes darling….oh fuck, she’s expecting an answer to a question. Just talk about me I suppose.”

Captioned image of a schoolmistress waiting with a cane

I have the strangest feeling that by the next lesson you’ll know the poem really, really well.

And then you can straighten your little maid skirt back down over your well-smacked bottom and go back to your chores. But with dignity.