Born to be Wilde

Today’s theme is gardens and gardening for reasons that should be obvious.

I’ve always fantasised about my Mistress lending me out to a vanilla friend, but it’s actually less exciting than you might think.  One of her old school friends offered to try it, but almost as soon as I arrived and got changed into my perky little maid’s outfit, somehow I knew it wasn’t going to work.  I did the housework for a bit but I think we both felt uncomfortable and so after a couple of hours he phoned for Mistress to come and pick me up again.


Scurry scurry scurry.
There are more dandelions.  Many more.

He’s at peace, now.

If she does roquet you – that is, hits one of your balls with hers – then she gets to ‘croquet’ – and there are two ways of doing it.  The American rule is that she puts her foot down, firmly holding the ball immobile, before tapping it with her mallet.  But in Britain, she just places her ball next to yours and thwacks as hard as she can. It’s all in the angles, you see.  Anyway, both methods are a lot of fun.





Bit o’ politics

Not President Hathaway stuff, sorry. Some time.  But not today. Today we are on the other side of the Atlantic.


But only a bit of politics, because I was hoping for five captioned images but I’d better post these three before, like everyone else, I run out of time.


It seems extraordinary that I put up a similar post almost three years ago. So much has been achieved since then: our leaders have used that time wisely to create an agreement with the EU that  secures the long-term interests of both the UK and its European friends. An agreement that makes such obvious good sense that it has been accepted by acclamation in all European capitals.  Well, I for one certainly feel foolish about voting ‘remain’, after the Brexit process has been such a massive success. I mean, who ever would have thought the negotiations would have gone so smoothly, after all the rancour of the referendum.  Oh, hang on…





























Come on, Ladies…


















Helpless when she smiles

… and indeed when she doesn’t.


What a tie-breaker.



Needless to say, this blog does not purport to offer financial advice, and no investments should be undertaken on the basis of what you read here, unless so advised by an independent financial advisor, or directly ordered by a woman.

My SO sometimes let me choose the style of play.  Just none of the content.

They’re very strange.  I think most of them have just never experienced the firm loving guidance of a real woman. Sad, really.
Yes. Everything will be perfect.


Service orientation



My SO’s always had the same rule.  Sulky face = semen face.  Simple, no argument.


Or breakfast, if you’re not hungry enough by tonight.
I’d end up paying a lot of guys for a lot of things, if that rule applied to me.  It’s important to prioritise: to spend your money on the things that make her most happy.

Many people who get into porn movies just do it for a short time, but snuff movie stars, oddly enough, often spend the rest of their lives in the business.

My first girlfriend told me she was strongly opposed to corporal punishment of children.  When I turned eighteen, I discovered she had strong views on the corporal punishment of adults, too.


Slavish obedience




A bit presumptuous, from someone I only met five minutes ago.  What makes her so sure I won’t just wander off and never meet her again?




 
You might think that after this experience she’d become a pro-domme, but actually she’s fine with the escort business, as long as she can occasionally beat clients up.
Now here’s a professional lady more focused on the subculture’s needs!
Some of the sales team made the mistake of telling potential customers that they’d be physically punished if they didn’t meet their sales targets.  5% of customers did buy more, in sympathy, 75% just laughed it off as a joke but the remaining 20% immediately cancelled their orders. All women, oddly enough.








The run’s extended by three months, but after that it seems they’re likely to run out of convicted sex offenders.  Of course, there are always more sex offenders being convicted – but strangely, the sexual crime rate fell by 75% soon after the show opened. Ironic, huh?

Captivating ladies




Actually, unlike many men with small penises, I don’t obsess about it and feel inadequate and ashamed about its size.  My feelings of inadequacy and shame are much more broadly-based than that.










It’s just to redress the balance.  Men are no good at empathy.  Not like women: my SO always knows when I’m hurting badly, no matter how much I try to conceal it.
It’s much shorter than my punishment song – which has seventeen verses.  Even though I’ve never considered myself a good singer, my SO usually enjoys it so much she ‘asks’ for an encore.  Sometimes two.
Lucky bastard – he’s going to be experiencing his top sexual fantasy for the rest of his life.
The gentlemen in the picture likes to claim he is ‘very experienced in BDSM’ but actually, he’s about to discover there’s a lot more to it than he had ever imagined.

 

Girl talk

More reminiscences from those sweet Central European maidens from the sadly defunct Czech vacation spot, the OWK.  


Where are they now, you ask? Some of them work as professional dominatrices but most of the others prefer to remain anonymous today, as they’ve moved on from the scene.  One – I won’t name her because I do respect her privacy – has done really well in the travel industry and now works as Service Manager for one of the major low-cost budget airlines.  She’s responsible for designing the passenger experience : all the way from the check-in queue to the seat design and on-board service standards.  A complete change in career, you’d think, but actually she says her time at OWK was very useful preparation for her current responsibilities.  Strange but true.


 

120 minutes a slave

…followed by a slightly stilted conversation while putting my clothes back on, a quick hug, a kiss of her hand, then back out and switch on the mobile to find out what craziness has been going on at work while I’ve been in session.




You can get upgraded to business class.  The container’s only slightly bigger (though you do feel the difference after a long flight, I find) but you get meaty chunks from a proper tin of food instead of those dry pellets.
Nurses have seen it all, of course, but many women find it quite offensive when a man visibly develops an erection in their presence.  My SO certainly does, and has been helping keep that side of my personality under tight control.

Sometimes you can tell even without looking at them.  And sometimes you just beat them anyway, on the off-chance.  It’s all good.
On my very first date, I actually had a premature orgasm – which was very embarassing.  You see, I was wearing light-coloured trousers, so when she opened the door and said hello, I exploded in a very visible dark stain.  Fortunately, that was the last bad thing that happened on that date, although I did almost get caught on the nose by the door as it slammed shut again.
What do we want? Justice!


I’m going to be, what she wants me to be

My girl (2 – the one with the sexier video – from the 1969 movie Sweet Charity).  

I’ve always been a sucker for a ‘dominatrix ponytail’ – and there are a lot more of them in this clip from the original movie.

Sounds like the perfect evening to me. I think there might even be half a packet of Hob-nobs left.









She can be very reasonable.  Also, surprisingly unreasonable.  But that’s married life.

Serious stuff: Marcia’s job’s on the line here.  I’ll keep you posted if there are any developments.
He’s moved on.  Why can’t she?
There: the science has proved it.  ‘Men are almost as fully human as women’.  I shall have to make sure my SO reads this. Perhaps she’ll start treating me as a near-equal.
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