top tips – Contemplating the divine

Newcomers welcome

Newcomers are particularly welcome to this blog, of course, since ‘readers’ unfamiliar with my style may take a while to notice that I basically just re-hash the same old tropes over and over again. But more importantly, I want to help newcomers to the world of femdom to get over any anxieties they might have, especially before that nerve-wracking first contact with a pro-domme to actually try out all those grubby little fantasies in reality.

So, as a service to such newbies, I have in the past posted several items of advice to a novice sub. That series later also included a few respectful items of advice humbly proferred to any to ladies thinking of embarking on the noble dominatrix profession, too.

I hope that by passing on my expertise to a new generation, they can avoid the mistakes I made and instead make entirely new ones.

So, in that spirit, here is more of the same. Re-hashing tired old tropes, like I said.

Hope you enjoyed that. Any prospective subs actually trying the approaches recommended above will not be missed from the human gene pool, so think of it as evolution in action. Not that many of you were likely ever to be allowed to place your nasty, sticky genes anywhere they might actually lead to a new human being forming anyway. The real advice to a novice sub is to visit that domme and the only real mistake Servitor made was leaving that so late.

In other news, those of you paying very close attention to some minor themes on this blog (and I know some of you do that, to my repeated surprise) might like to note that Kitten has gone viral. Bonus Kitten image below in celebration and homage.

Wisdom of the aged

As I am, with no false modesty, a rather ‘experienced’ player (although yet to score a point), I often find myself being asked questions by dommes* and subs alike, and I am only too willing to share what scraps of wisdom I have acquired over the years. There have been posts on advice to a novice sub, and also those offering respectful and tentative advice to novices trying out the domme side of the ‘relationship’. Some might say that this is presumptuous, indeed impertinent. My own view, for what it’s worth, is that they are quite right. It is, and here’s more of it. What a bad, bad Servitor.

Especially without a riding whip. She’s not going anywhere any time soon, I’m afraid.

Plus, if they want handjobs at the end of the session, they can actually have them, for a change. Blow jobs even – why not?

Alternatively, don’t bother if you don’t care which is which.

Or, again, don’t bother. He can hold it in. Rubber bands help.

Mmmm. I think the lady in this picture might be wondering how to preserve her in-session air of effortless superiority, having just broken the rule. She needn’t: we love and worship them whatever they do.

* Most of the questions from dommes are along the lines of “Is that supposed to be a present?”, “Are you going to cry again?”, “Haven’t you finished yet?” or “What the fuck are you still doing here?” but the answers to those just involve simple yes/no plus apology options, so I won’t go into details.

Advisory warning

Following the triumphant failure of the long-running series ‘Advice to a novice sub‘, this blog impertinently presents the first batch of a brand new series: ‘Advice to a novice domme’.

How dare I, you ask? Hmmm. That’s a good question, actually.

And most important of all (so why isn’t it #1 – who decides these things anyway?):

…and a bonus image!

Looks like this lovely lady needs to read #18, up there, again. It took her hours to put this lot together and it’s not like he pays any more than anyone else.

Freely given

Some years ago, I decided that as a fairly experienced sub, I had something of a duty to use this platform to share my experiences and advice about visiting professional dommes. After all, it can be nerve-racking for a first-timer, and it’s hardly something you can ask your friends at work about! Unless your work is as a male maid for a dominatrix, I suppose. But that’s quite rare.

Anyway, the reaction was very positive and it – well, I certainly didn’t get any complaints – and I’m older and even wiser now, so here are a few more tips from Servitor: advice to a novice sub.

No, don’t bother to thank me. Just the thought of some nervous first-timer walking into a ‘femdomme sex dungeon’ and trying one or more of these ideas out is reward enough!

If you liked these, you’ll find more of this sort of thing by clicking this here link, so I suggest you do so. If you didn’t like these, you won’t want to click that because you’ll find more things you don’t like. Perfectly simple, even for boys, yeah?

Oh: and watch out for Servitor’s exciting new series: Advice to a novice domme! Coming soon. Ish.

If it’s Friday, this must be Belgium

Regular readers will know that occasionally I depart from the fantasy theme of this blog to give practical, down-to-earth advice to subs on visiting dommes. See this, this or this, or even this for example.

But my stats tell me that this blog has readers from all over the world and especially the USA, so I was thinking it might be time for a post especially for the American subs. No – I don’t mean one using particularly short and simple words. I do that anyway, because I am well aware that many of this blog’s readers are male and I don’t think it’s fair to make it too difficult for them to follow, in the brief amount of computer time they’re allowed. I mean a post that helps US visitors to Europe navigate the complex but fascinating cultural backwaters my tired old continent possesses.

So here – in a bid to alienate the majority of my readership – is some advice to a US sub, visiting Europe. Have a nice day now, y’hear?

Advice to a novice sissy maid

It’s been ages since we had any posts with Servitor’s tips for novice subs. So long, in fact, that many of you probably have no idea what I’m even talking about, in which case you should educate yourselves by clicking here and also here. How can you expect to enjoy this blog if you haven’t done all the reading, hmm?

I am of course more experienced at visiting professional dominatrices than ever now. In fact, I understand there are even forums on the Internet where dommes can share my mobile number and email, to put me on a ‘don’t call’ blacklist. Ah… they love to play hard to get, the cunning little minxes! But I have my ways of oozing past their defences.

But it’s not all about my pleasure, and I like to share the wisdom, so here once again are some top tips for a novice submissive. This time, it’s a sissy maid special! If you’re planning to book a sissy maid session, make sure you read all of these first, OK? You might even find it helpful to write each out 200 times. You naughty girl. Oooh!

That was very British. I’m sure American and other readers can supply appropriate geographic equivalents of the East End and industrial North, if need be. Brooklyn, maybe? ‘Chavvy’ translates more or less to ‘trailer trash’.

Oh – and an extra tip? If you’re permitted to reach orgasm at
the end of your maid’s session and you make a mess, don’t worry. She understands that you won’t feel like doing any more cleaning, once
you’re no longer feeling sexy. She’ll clean it up after you’re
gone.

IMPORTANT advice warning!

The information on this blog is of a general nature.

It does not take your specific needs or circumstances into
consideration, so you should look at your own financial position, pain threshold and courage before acting upon any of the advice presented here. Contemplating the Divine is not responsible for any injury or loss of life and property resulting from any such action. Sissy maids should always bear in mind that stocks are inherently risky, and that hours spent locked into one can result in severe discomfort.

More advice to a novice sub – jargon busting

No, not ball busting. Jargon busting! As an experienced visitor of pro-dommes I am always happy to share my wisdom with nervous young subs seeking their first taste of the forbidden fruit that is a femdom session. So I wrote two posts a while ago, trying to provide some of the most important tips. They went down very well, with several readers contacting me to let me know that they had tried my suggestions and survived.

But, you know, there’s a lot more as well. Like any specialised subject, the world of BDSM is rife with its own phrases and acronyms and they can leave novices hopelessly confused. So here is Servitor’s jargon buster – all those puzzling terms explained.

Write to me in the comments and let me know how you get on, newbies!

MILF. This is an acronym for “Mistress I’ve Lately Found”,
so it’s a perfect way to address any new domme you approach. It can be particularly effective with more
mature ladies, though, as they are less familiar with the Internet, so these
acronyms are fresher to them.

Scat. This is a form of puppy play. The puppy should lie on his back, paws
waggling in happy adoration of his goddess.
She will stand menacingly over him for a while, then later order him to ‘scat!’
– meaning go away. You don’t even need to arrange this in advance – just lie there, look up at her with those big puppy eyes, and say “Scat please, Mistress!”. She’ll know what to do.

Some dommes like to put newspaper down before a scat session, or even plastic sheeting, to make the puppy play more realistic – but don’t take this as a licence to do anything disgusting!

I am afraid that I am not allowed to post upskirt pictures on this blog (because I am not allowed to look at them), so I can’t show the actual scat moment. But I think it’s clear that it’ll be arriving soon, in this session! Mmmm. Puppy play is so cute.

Humbler. This is a
complex and subtle form of psychological BDSM, in which the sub is given a
small token of his Mistress’s regard – used panties, quite often – and left
alone to contemplate them and his relationship to Her, for a few hours before a
session. Even the strictest Mistresses
will usually allow unlimited masturbation during this time, as the point is to arrive
at the session sexually relaxed, to spend it in peaceful adoration. Mistresses enjoy these quieter sessions
occasionally, so don’t be afraid to ask to arrive early – or even the night before
– to be put in a humbler.

Asking for an overnight humbler experience before tomorrow’s session. She’s just warning him that his balls might be quite sore in the morning. Obviously an experienced mistress who knows just many times he’s likely to bring himself to orgasm!

Forced bi. A
double-domme session, in which one of the ladies only arrives after the sub is placed
in strict bondage.

This boy’s particularly lucky, because his Mistress not only agreed to arrange a forced bi session, she even asked him if he was up for a blow job! I mean, duh – who isn’t, eh?! Let’s hope her friend is pretty.

Sound. Many subs
prefer their sessions to be carried out in total silence, so if you don’t want
this ask your domme whether she does ‘sounds’.

This sub asked for a double-domme medical session with lot of ‘sounds’. Just the thing for those who prefer their BDSM to be gently psychologically menacing rather than truly painful. After all, sounds can’t really hurt you. Sticks and stones, and all that…

Bitch play. Almost all dommes like to finish a puppy play session by making
love – doggie style! When you’re ready for this, show you want her to switch
into the animal role by calling her a ‘bitch’ – or, if you think
she might not realise you’re ready for sex, ‘fucking bitch’ just so she knows what’s expected of her.

You know what you want. She wants it too – but you have to ask!

Judicial caning. This
is the CP session to go for if you are new and nervous. Many men actually have
little idea of their real tolerance for pain, so if you ask for a ‘judicial
session’, she will carefully (‘judiciously’ – you see?) monitor how much she is inflicting
and will stop when you’ve had enough, so no safeword is required.

Remember, the world of BDSM is really quite playful. You’d be surprised how many of the fiercest disciplinarians will accede to a humble request for the caning to be applied ‘judicial’ style, especially if you show them how much you trust them by requesting restraints and a gag.

Advice to a novice sub – Part 2

Many readers of this blog ask me questions, and not all of them are of the “Why don’t you just fuck off and die, Servitor?” form, either. I know you regard me as a kind of wise old man of femdom, and after I published a blog post last year with a few choice tips for submissives less experienced than I am in visiting professional dominant ladies, the response was overwhelming and – in a few cases – not entirely contemptuous.

So, mindful of the fact that you don’t know my real name or address, and so you can’t sue me for any consequences, here is another batch of Servitor’s tips for any subs considering a visit to a pro-domme.

Advice to a novice sub

As a well-respected member of the BDSM community, I am often asked questions by novices to the scene. These are usually along the lines of “Why are your captions so fuckin’ lame, loser?”, but just occasionally someone requests my advice. And of course, I am always happy to oblige.

Naturally, all my experiences in the scene have involved paying pro-dommes – it’s not as if anyone’s going to spend much time in my sweaty presence unless they’re well compensated for it! But within this very limited sphere I have, I think, acquired some expertise – I might almost go so far as to say wisdom. And I am very happy now to share some of these insights with you, my loyal readership.

So, without further wittering: some advice to a novice sub. In the form of captions. Obviously.

The ladies featuring so beautifully, and misleadingly, in this post were (from the top):

Divine Mistress Heather
A lovely lady from Schoolmistress Fantasy
Lady Sophia Black
Mistress Eleise de Lacey
Mistress Darla (now retired I understand, but here from The English Mansion)
Miss Jessica Wood (who – you can be quite sure – most definitely wood not!).