tawse – Page 3 – Contemplating the divine

Uncivil partnerships

It’s a mere technicality.

A lot of men who are initially reluctant to wear shock collars end up thanking their wives for it, I understand, so there’s really no reason not to give it a go.

There’s nothing worse than calling your domme by the wrong name, is there? Well… Obviously, there is something worse, which is what happens next when you do – but I’m sure you know what I mean.

More and more women carry tasers to ward off unwanted sexual advances. Even a few years back, when I was dating, I’d estimate maybe 40% of them did.

Thank goodness. Finally a chance to put my side of the story!

Sadistically significant

I rather think the romantic evening’s just getting started, don’t you?

Despite her attitude to sexists, she’s a great believer in naval tradition. ‘Rum, sodomy and the lash’ and all that, although obviously today’s navy is alcohol-free.

Perhaps Paul and Irene could discuss it later.

Possibly several things. There’s always something.

She looks nice. Just as well when you’re that small and vulnerable.

And make her some great Princess, six feet high!

Grand, epic, homicidal.

Armpit Fetishist Monthly is just another example of the decline of traditional media, another fine publication swept away by the Internet. I recall their cookery page with particular affection.

…and by the way, I have posted this before even with the same comment, but… Oh. My. Goddess. I have to see this movie!

My office established a system of disciplinary procedures for inappropriate sexual activity. Which to my mind is just having your cake and eating it too… or would be, were I allowed cake.

I’m thinking of paella – perhaps a nice Rioja to go with it? And maybe Roger might like to try bastinado, in keeping with the Spanish theme.

With luck, she’ll take up chewing gum obsessively.

Love hurts and so does she.

By the way, this lady is going to feature here rather a lot from now on. Unless she takes out an injunction or something (don’t you hate it when women do that?). Nata!

Music only a little related. But don’t you just love the way Mistress Lennox’s voice sort of… swoops in at the start? I do. And I tried to find a version with a video, and I found this and she looks lovely, but someone’s ringing a bell, playing an electric organ and generally messing up that opening.

Sigh. First world problems…

More things follow:

I had this wonderful puppy play session in the park, the other day. She did that thing of making me balance a twig on my nose in sitting position? And then she backed slowly away saying ‘stay… stayyyy’. It’s actually quite hard to stay still for long like that, so after only seven hours, I sneezed and the twig fell off. If I ever see her again, I’ll have to tell her and be punished. Exciting thought!

Oh, just a plain vanilla ball-crusher, then? OK, sorry. Just go ahead.

I still remember the first time she called me a ‘lazy little bastard’…

It’s actually not quite true to say she doesn’t care. She enjoys making you cry. But she’s trying to spare your feelings, the dear thing.

Yup. All about the rules.

Feminine tuition

Just go with it, Robert. See where it takes you.

He’ll be genius-level. And that’s just the first batch.

Unlike many dominant ladies, my own SO quite enjoys it when I disagree with her. Says she finds it stimulating – I do too.

There are some very responsible positions available. Of course, George would have to serve his time as a tampon boy, but do a good job there for a few years and the sky’s the limit.

She’s doing the scene a real service.

Brutal loving care

Silly, really, to get rid of stock that’s hardly even damaged, but that’s their policy.

Often, when smokers give up, they undertake some symbolic act of renunciation: crushing the cigarette pack beneath their shoes, for example, or just throwing it onto a fire. Something like that might be worth trying too, to make clear all that nonsense is in your past, now.

Not sure about the colour swatches, though. I think the traditional dark grey is still best.

I expect they just didn’t get the original joke. Try explaining it more slowly.

And they say porn doesn’t really cause any harm…

Not now, John

I’d forgotten this had femdommy bits – mildly suggestive only, I guess, and with that very special 80s pop video fuzziness, but I actually find that nostalgically erotic.*

Anyway, on with the 21st-century nonsense.

I always find a good beating really brings an apology home. And a bad beating, still more so.

It would be very odd to be the sort of guy who visits a sex worker who doesn’t tell him off and treat him with contempt and disdain. A bit limiting, I’ve always thought.

Might be time for that safeword, actually. Now what was it. Pretty sure it wasn’t ‘mmph’, sadly for him.

She hates ironing, loves whipping. That’s why this happening.

There’s a splendid phrase in British english “Face like a slapped arse”. I think that’s one problem I don’t have – I have a face like a slapped face and an arse like a slapped arse. When I’ve been lucky.

*I once caught the first 1 minute of “The Dominatrix sleeps tonight” on a BBC 2 pop programme, when I was, I dunno, sixteen or something. Oh. My. God. Then they stopped playing it. Noooooo!!! For years afterwards, every time I watched a music programme, or a bit of MTV when visiting somewhere (we didn’t have it), there was a little glow of hope I might see it again, or see more of it. Never did until the Internet came along and then I was more jaded, of course.

And when force is gone, there’s always Mom

Hi Mom!

She’s right you know. It’s the first thing a new husband should learn: always ask permission. Humbly. Even when she’s being an impossible girl.

Boundaries, consequences… firmness. I was reading about it in a book about making your marriage work. Well… I say it was about marriage. Technically, it was about dog training. But the principles are the same.

Best years of his life. And many, many more to come, I suspect.

I am. They have a mission statement, you know. It’s quite inspiring. Oh… now what was it again?

Boundaries, consequences. Didn’t I tell you?

She’s often inclined to borrow somebody’s dreams till tomorrow

You’ll lose your mind and play.

Obviously, I don’t approve for one moment of non-consensual BDSM play. I’ve made that very clear to my SO, and She in turn has explained that she doesn’t give a fuck what I think. So we have an understanding.

It’s not going to be like having actual sex, of course. There won’t be all that “What the fuck? Already? Is that it?” business at the end, for one thing.

I’m very suggestive.

What’s the vibrator got that I haven’t, I’d like to know?

He’s probably feeling very relaxed already, knowing he’s in such safe hands.

You know how bad girls get

Ah.. school days – cold showers, long tedious detentions, horrible over-cooked cabbage for lunch, exams and homework… not to mention the corporal punishment and the humiliating bullying. It seems so long ago now… must be months at least. I really must book another session.


No I never said that! So unfair, you horrible old cow. Oops.

But not so brave as to refuse. There’s brave and there’s sheer suicidal lunacy.

Spelling ‘wear’ wrong shouldn’t go unnoticed and uncorrected, either.

Mistress Teresa May, obviously. Of all the things that could complicate a career in professional domination, “Having the same name as the Prime Minister” (or vhery nhearly the same) was probably not one that she anticipated.

I think she’s probably right there. You might have to conduct a careful examination of her feet before you’re sure, though.

He probably doesn’t know what the capital of Gabon is. Trouble is, nor does she. I wonder how they’ll resolve the impasse?

Category: tawse