tawse – Page 3 – Contemplating the divine

Brutal loving care

Silly, really, to get rid of stock that’s hardly even damaged, but that’s their policy.

Often, when smokers give up, they undertake some symbolic act of renunciation: crushing the cigarette pack beneath their shoes, for example, or just throwing it onto a fire. Something like that might be worth trying too, to make clear all that nonsense is in your past, now.

Not sure about the colour swatches, though. I think the traditional dark grey is still best.

I expect they just didn’t get the original joke. Try explaining it more slowly.

And they say porn doesn’t really cause any harm…

Not now, John

I’d forgotten this had femdommy bits – mildly suggestive only, I guess, and with that very special 80s pop video fuzziness, but I actually find that nostalgically erotic.*

Anyway, on with the 21st-century nonsense.

I always find a good beating really brings an apology home. And a bad beating, still more so.

It would be very odd to be the sort of guy who visits a sex worker who doesn’t tell him off and treat him with contempt and disdain. A bit limiting, I’ve always thought.

Might be time for that safeword, actually. Now what was it. Pretty sure it wasn’t ‘mmph’, sadly for him.

She hates ironing, loves whipping. That’s why this happening.

There’s a splendid phrase in British english “Face like a slapped arse”. I think that’s one problem I don’t have – I have a face like a slapped face and an arse like a slapped arse. When I’ve been lucky.

*I once caught the first 1 minute of “The Dominatrix sleeps tonight” on a BBC 2 pop programme, when I was, I dunno, sixteen or something. Oh. My. God. Then they stopped playing it. Noooooo!!! For years afterwards, every time I watched a music programme, or a bit of MTV when visiting somewhere (we didn’t have it), there was a little glow of hope I might see it again, or see more of it. Never did until the Internet came along and then I was more jaded, of course.

And when force is gone, there’s always Mom

Hi Mom!

She’s right you know. It’s the first thing a new husband should learn: always ask permission. Humbly. Even when she’s being an impossible girl.

Boundaries, consequences… firmness. I was reading about it in a book about making your marriage work. Well… I say it was about marriage. Technically, it was about dog training. But the principles are the same.

Best years of his life. And many, many more to come, I suspect.

I am. They have a mission statement, you know. It’s quite inspiring. Oh… now what was it again?

Boundaries, consequences. Didn’t I tell you?

She’s often inclined to borrow somebody’s dreams till tomorrow

You’ll lose your mind and play.

Obviously, I don’t approve for one moment of non-consensual BDSM play. I’ve made that very clear to my SO, and She in turn has explained that she doesn’t give a fuck what I think. So we have an understanding.

It’s not going to be like having actual sex, of course. There won’t be all that “What the fuck? Already? Is that it?” business at the end, for one thing.

I’m very suggestive.

What’s the vibrator got that I haven’t, I’d like to know?

He’s probably feeling very relaxed already, knowing he’s in such safe hands.

You know how bad girls get

Ah.. school days – cold showers, long tedious detentions, horrible over-cooked cabbage for lunch, exams and homework… not to mention the corporal punishment and the humiliating bullying. It seems so long ago now… must be months at least. I really must book another session.


No I never said that! So unfair, you horrible old cow. Oops.

But not so brave as to refuse. There’s brave and there’s sheer suicidal lunacy.

Spelling ‘wear’ wrong shouldn’t go unnoticed and uncorrected, either.

Mistress Teresa May, obviously. Of all the things that could complicate a career in professional domination, “Having the same name as the Prime Minister” (or vhery nhearly the same) was probably not one that she anticipated.

I think she’s probably right there. You might have to conduct a careful examination of her feet before you’re sure, though.

He probably doesn’t know what the capital of Gabon is. Trouble is, nor does she. I wonder how they’ll resolve the impasse?

The wrongs of man

are self-evident but can be sorted out by the smack of firm government in the right hands.

She sounds like she knows what she’s doing.

Another day, another dollar. Well… not a whole dollar, obviously. That’s just a saying. In fact, they only spend a penny each time.

Huh! I’d like to see him do better.

Maybe try another topic of conversation? I mean – you got her attention. That’s a good start.

See, there he is while she’s telling him how upset she was about his thoughtless gift and all he can think about is how his lungs are burning. That’s what men are like. It’s a good thing there’s femdom to help set us right, that’s all I can say.

It’s all so calculating (she’s got a calculator)

You say you’ll never know him, he’s an unnatural man

It’s not the size anyway, it’s what you do with it. And how many times.

He can say no, of course. As many times as he likes, actually.

She gets through boyfriends quite quickly, I’ve heard. Must be a bit fickle, I suppose. Shame, ‘cos she’s cute.

Looks good on her, don’t you think? Better than on the donors, I expect.

Actually, there are lots of things they don’t approve of men doing. Good job you’ve got her to protect you.

I’m so hot for her, I’m on fire for her

yet she’s so cold. And so’s the tub of cream in the bathroom cabinet, if she’ll only let me out of this corner to go and get some. Please, Mistress. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.

It’s not about you, do you see?

Actually, you can fit a sub in either way round. She’s just got it wrong, that’s all. Made an embarassing, stupid mistake. Do you want to tell her, or shall I?

I could add a caption here, but what does my opinion matter anyway?

It’s important to understand the power dynamics of your bdsm relationship. Frankly, that’s important at any time, but it’s particularly important when you’re naked and dangling helplessly from the ceiling.

It’s good she’s decided to treat you as an adult, for once.

There’s something she forgot to say to you

Celebrate the conscious liberation of the female state!

The company has a very strict policy agaimst sexual harassment too. So don’t worry about that. If you’re groped, or propositioned or demeaned in any way, you can complain to your boss, right then and there.