sexism – Contemplating the divine

Pretty woman, don’t make me cry

Oh, go on then, do.

They can be a bit dry but sometimes there are little snails or beetles to provide some gooeyness.

Quite right too. She usually is. In fact, she always is – that’s on her FAQs too.

Phones will only distract you if you let them – it’s easier than you might think to concentrate instead on the important things in life.

Don’t worry: the judge is strictly impartial in the manner she treats all males who appear in front of her. The accused, lawyers, tea boys… makes no difference to her.

Don’t forget to round up if your answer is not an integer. Oh: and to add ‘Ma’am’. That might seem pedantic, but your answer will be marked as wrong – and so will you – if you don’t.

‘As soon as possible’ doesn’t always mean straight away, of course. Sometimes Mistress wants you to spend an hour or two in the corner, holding the paddle, beforehand. It’s still ‘as soon as possible’, it’s just that your possibilities are a bit limited.

Eternal glory to the heroines of the revolution!

Ages since I did one of these. Glimpses of informative public information posters from another world: a better, if occasionally just a tad authoritarian, world.

Look, boys, they gave you the option of doing this the easy way, OK? But you chose differently.

View-halloo!

The title, obviously, indicating that it’s a special dedicated to that wholesome British country pastime, The Hunt. Vicious, brutal and non-consensual with no scantily clad ladies but lots of words. Those last two may well put male readers off, I know, but no one here cares what males think, so that’s fine.

Motivating thoughts

He does the actions, too. Those consist of thrashing around frantically, in a futile attempt to dodge the strokes.

Try not to objectify her when you’re hanging there. No woman likes to feel like a piece of meat.

Wow – she’s not just a barrista, she’s a startup! You could invest in her, be one of those… what do they call them, angels! I’m sure she’d guarantee you a very fair return.

Sorry about the poor picture quality. But the expression was sooo perfect.

Try not to be too nervous. Just nervous enough, that’ll be fine.

Nasty and inaccurate prophecies

After a while, though, most wives get a little bored with vanilla apologies and want to spice things up with ever more elaborate contrition scenarios. Still, it’s usually best to humour them, in my worthless opinion.

Remember: serious findommes will always work within a carefully-negotiated framework of consent, so it’s probably more fun to play with the frivolous ones who’ll just drain your finances without a second thought and gleefully leave you penniless and lovesick in the gutter with your life in ruins.

It’s certainly true that it’s less painful for your back than other things she can do – and probably will, when she returns home.

She’s started a collection. It’s good to have a hobby.

You might worry that they’d get into trouble with animal protection groups, but they checked with PETA and all the rest, and apparently they were fine with it, once the whole concept had been properly explained.

He’s often mistaken about things. Just the other day, he told her he really needed an orgasm, but it turned out he didn’t, not really, just as she’d predicted.

Fishers of men

… but don’t worry: they are mostly doing it for sport. After hooking you and letting you wriggle and gasp for a while, they’ll usually just unhook you and throw you right back where you were.

This lady’s not planning to go fishing. She’s already caught enough for her immediate needs.

Actually, that’s not quite correct. The relationship is working for Trevor… and will do, right up to the end.

He’s looking forward to a harmonious married life, in which the housework is done with a perky smile, there’s no nonsense about taking financial decisions together and every comfort and care of the Head of Household is attended to. So’s she.

Fortunately, if she does decide to sell them anyway, even in their distressingly clean state, online purchasers of used panties rarely if ever complain to Trading Standards authorities.

You can actually communicate even quite complex concepts eventually in ‘bimbo’ speech mode, but you might have to suck a lot of cock on the way.

That’s actually something you have to ask for specifically, at the OWK. But he shouldn’t hold back. Most of the Ladies will be perfectly happy to deal with any guest who wants to have sex with them and some of them might even invite other Ladies to join in the fun.

The Hunt

New series! Brutal, unpleasant and – so far at least – with very longwinded captions. But if you’re into the idea of running naked at the limits of your endurance, desperately gulping lungfuls of air as you flee in terror for your life, pursued by whip-wielding jodhpur-clad ladies on horseback intent on your mutilation and painful death (and let’s face it, all of that adds up to a very attractive image), you might like these).

More mundanely, I understand commenting here has become harder the last few weeks. That’s not something I want to happen, so I have tried tweaking the anti-spam settings a bit. I found out for example that it was considering all comments containing the word ‘penis’ to be spam. I’ve deleted that but ‘penis enlargement’ continues to feature on the list, as that is not something this blog supports – quite the opposite, if anything. I’ll keep a better eye on this – apologies if you felt the urge to comment recently and were discouraged.

Superior sex

She is it, and she also has it.

Perhaps you should discuss her salary expectations soon, as I think right now they are increasing rapidly.

She uses ‘cruelty free’ cosmetic products but I’m afraid that attitude extends only to animals. Non-human animals, I mean.

The system is open to abuse by women seeking to save money on nursing care for their elderly male relatives unfortunately. But a recent inquiry into the prevalence of false accusations of crminal sexism concluded (a) that it was not so very high and (b) that the old bastards probably deserved it anyway. So that’s all right.

Imagine putting her to so much trouble. And he calls himself submissive…

The lady visting OWK in this pastoral scene is Goddess Sophia, whose cages, canes and (most memorably) gloriously swishy rubber dress Servitor has had the honour to experience – and can thoroughly recommend to UK-based subs. She may or may not still be in business and is not the lady of the same name in Portsmouth, who I am sure is equally lovely.

I imagine Douglas knows many things they don’t… lots of secret little thoughts.

Pretty woman don’t make me cry

What’s that? Oh, I ticked ‘make me cry’ on the session negotiation form? Oh yes, so I did. Sorry, my mistake: go ahead then.

Just hand me the lipstick and stand aside, little lady. I got this.

Very public-spirited of them to help out, I say.

You might worry that if she just gets high grades without effort, she might end up with no skills and in a low-wage dead-end career. Don’t worry: she’s developing lots of skills and her future in a high-paying professional career is almost guaranteed.

What, did you think she just… I dunno… abducted guys and skinned them in her basement? You’ve been reading too much lurid fantasy. Relax, OK?

I wonder why she went too far like that? She’s supposed to be a professional.

Fiercely feminine

Take it from me as a long-serving married man, you really don’t want to discuss it. Let alone ‘discuss’ it.

Obviously.

There’s a thin line between chivalry and criminal sexism but fortunately we have women to help police that line – and run the re-education camps for anyone who teeters over it.

He’s just a bit nervous about getting married… which is silly, really, when you think about it.

Actually, the entire blog is literally nothing but a lot of fuss over a little smacked bottom. With wholly inadequate thinking time set aside for it.