Category: science fiction

Singularity

Back after a well-deserved miserable and brutal few weeks at the kennels, I find this blog has attracted over six million pageviews, since its launch in 2011.  What an extraordinary volume of smut, gibberish and unfunny jokes served up to perverted wankers with nothing better to do with their time, to be sure.  Makes you glad to be alive in this age of technological marvels.  

But I also learn that the best of our technological future is yet to come: my time machine has once again recorded a few TV news snippets from some unspecified future year.  For once, the images seem to form a coherent sequence (as coherent as anything on this blog, anyway) so read them in order.  Or just look at the pictures of pretty women and masturbate – whatever.

Mission critical

More from the only superhero movie ever where the main character is actually believeable.  I mean – Superman? A male, being brave and fighting for truth and justice?  Come on… they can do amazing things with CGI but there’s a limit to how far disbelief can be suspended.   I suppose The Dark Knight Rises was a pretty good movie but I couldn’t understand why they gave the character played by Christian Bale so much screentime. 


So – Wonder Woman, obviously.  Spoilers follow.  If you haven’t seen the movie already, you’re going to need to close this web page, go to Max Fisch or somewhere like that to find a domme near you who does judicial caning and book yourself in for a 24-stroke session, OK? Then just go and see the damn movie, moron.

Right, so if you’re down here, I guess you’ve already seen it.  A lot of the plot is quite predictable, of course, but I think any responsible blog will try to avoid spoilers where possible. I mean, that scene where Steve is supposed to be Diana’s servant in the German officer’s club and she has to cane him just to maintain their cover?  If you knew that was coming, it wouldn’t have half the shock value. Or the post-credits scene, where you see how the Amazons dealt with the German soldiers who survived the attack on Themyscira?  Or even the electrified strap-on joke.  I could go on…


But one of the themes of the plot, that I think works pretty well, is the tension between Steve and Diana as their mission progresses.  Sure, they’re both on the track of General Ludendorff, but they don’t share exactly the same objectives and that tension comes to the surface sometimes, as Steve tries to get Diana to do things his way.  Good luck with that, boy – Amazon princess, remember? Anyway, those interactions are some of my favourite human moments in the movie, so I’ve tried to get the dialogue down to the best of my ability and put them into a few captions.


Sorry about the change from the normal theme of this blog, but not everything can be femdom porn, you know?*

(*I will admit this blog is essentially devoted to proving that almost anything can be femdom porn, though).


















Finally, I think it’s really interesting that very nearly the same tension was present between the actors themselves on set.  Do you think Chris and Gal were influenced by the movie’s own themes?  Or did the scriptwriters watch the interaction between the two stars and get some ideas, as filming progressed?  I expect we’ll never know.  But this little snippet, captured from some behind the scenes filming on the set, gives just a hint of some of the clashes of creative vision that went on:

I’d certainly pay to see that.




Sex and violence…

Sex and violence, sex and violence
goes together like a gag and silence…




Fortunately for us, we can only see her front in this picture, so obviously there’s no inappropriate leering from our side.

She’s got a funny story about how he actually proposed – just wait.

Bondage and arachnophobia… quite a stimulating combination, I think.

The lovely Idda Van Munster who will be featured here again, believe me.



…and just to annoy Declan again:

       
Can I stake a claim for the first use of the word ‘contemporaneous’ in a femdom porn blog, please? *  



* Don’t worry – we’re back to normal service after Friday’s maledom special and we are no longer expecting male dominant readers.  So it’s OK to use big complicated words and subtle(ish) humour.  Yay!

Movie night!

To be honest, I’ve never much seen the point of the Oscars.  


It’s always such a disappointment, so many awards being handed out to people other than Anne.  I’m not even going to watch it this year, partly as a result of that manifest unfairness, also because my TV privileges have been withdrawn for six months, for being uppity.


Obviously, I’m not saying She should get all the awards. I suppose that they have to go through the motions of giving a
few of the prizes to other people, but they
don’t have to make such a fuss about it.  They could have a separate ceremony
at, I duuno, 10 in the morning or something and hand out a few things for
best special effects in a foreign-language wildlife documentary and suchlike, then get all that out of the way so they
can devote the evening to honouring Her. 


Oh and ‘best’ actor?  Really???   I mean, come on. Why not just go out into the street and start handing out awards for best left-over kebab, or most elegant piss stain against the wall?  Political correctness gone mad, if you ask me.


Anyway, here are some movie-themed captions. Mostly sci-fi. I love sci-fi.  I also love Anne Hathaway. It’s about time I told you that; I’ve been concealing it for too long.




There’s a shocking plot twist in Arrival. I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen the movie, but let’s just say that Amy spends a long time in that suit at one point, and someone starts getting all snarky when she orders him to clean it out.












Sneak preview – I’m actually an extra in the sequel, WAOM 2!  Well, a part of me is, anyway.  Actually, it’s a stain on the sole of one of Tricia’s boots, but I do get a credit.



Life support won’t shut down for a day or two. So you’ll have the time to make the place tidy.





I imagine everyone’s seen this movie, so I don’t suppose it’s news to anyone that the males surrender and are tortured viciously; the survivors being branded and enslaved. It’s a vison of a crushing, brutal tyrannical regime, spreading slavery and misery across the galaxy.   But then Star Trek has always been idealistic like that.









If he was a bit brighter, he might have wondered why the deck his pod is on is called “Cargo Deck 3”.  But he’s a man and men can be distressingly unobservant.













Actually, some of them have small speaking roles. Mostly crying and begging for mercy.




Let’s do the time-warp again


Those of you who have been reading this blog from the very begining in 2011 are very, very bad and perverted people who deserve to be forcibly  may well recall that one of the very first posts was of the front pages of some magazines that had fallen through a erm… worm hole time dimensional vortex thingummy and landed on my desk.

Oh yes, you do remember. Of course you do. Stop lying – has no one ever told you it’s very naughty to lie, boy? Hmm? Look – just go here if you’re one of those johnny-come-latelies who’ve only started reading this in the last five years, OK?

The title was a little odd.  I think back then I was occasionally trolling the followers of a rather devout Christian who had a blog of the same name, so there were a lot of religiously titled posts.  He’s now publishing religious blog posts in the form of piss-takes of femdom porn too, oddly enough, so it all seems entirely fair.

Anyway: three magazines had arrived from the far future… 2014*, 2017 and 2019.  I must have missed my copy of Subbie Hubbie Monthly back in 2014, but I have already reserved my copy of Dominant Lady Quarterly (at the special male price of just £2500 per copy), so I am looking forward to April.

Anyway (again): it happened a second time!  Would you believe it?  Three magazines, no doubt from the faaaaar far distant future.  These ones don’t actually have dates on them, oddly enough.  So.. yeah, here they are.


* Well I didn’t know this blog was going to be going on so long, did I?  I thought I’d have something better to do with my time by now. Oh well.




 




If voting changed anything….

Generally this blog doesn’t comment on political or topical events but…but… is there anyone out there who still thinks it’s a good idea to let men vote?  I mean, really?  Could there be better proof that politics is just not something that we should bother our silly little heads about?  It’s not as if I’d mind the smack of firm government in the right hands, but…


Oh well.  Life goes on and I suppose there are things to be thankful for.  Not being Estonian, Latvian or Lithuanian just now, for example.  

Probably best just to think about happier things, like torture, forced labour and humiliation.  So, back to business as usual.

Hmmm
“breath play”?  Well, I guess being breathed upon can’t be so bad. 
Thank goodness – I thought she was in a vengeful mood after I broke that
ornament of hers.
Actually, it’s fairly obviously the whipping post by the fountain.  The one by the walled garden is already occupied by his lordship.
Of course, this isn’t the first time he’s been on his knees since then. In fact, he’s rarely off them in her presence these days.

Devil Planet, Space 1999.  The gift that keeps on giving.

Actually her sister’s much more the vicious sadist than she is.  She can only get off when she’s making a man scream hysterically in pain. She keeps it very separate from her dentistry, though – she’s professional like that.


Unsafe words

…and some bloody dangerous pictures too.

Ah, you always need to watch out for the feminine, unthreatening ones.  And even more for the feminine, extremely threatening ones, obviously.


Oh well.  Something to do while waiting to drive her home, I suppose.

I imagine most readers of this blog will mainly be familiar with this actress from Walk All Over Me, but I understand she was also in a science fiction series on TV.


She wishes she didn’t have to do this, you know.  She hates pain.  Oh no, hang on – that’s him.  Never mind.  She’s fine with it. 


Actually, I come closest to achieving self respect in precisely those circumstances.  But it’s never that close, admittedly.

…and a bonus topical one: 
 

And all I do is kiss you through the bars of a cage

… well I would if you put your boot a little closer, anyway.


 

About that which we cannot speak, we must remain silent.
Dommes.. they’re all about rules.
 This is the delightful Domina Liza.  I think I’d be happy in her cage forever, if I could see her dressed in green, setting off that stunning auburn hair, from time to time.
Regrets? He’s had a few.  And he’ll have plenty of time for a few more.




Well, he does need a new companion. Some might say the adventures would be a little dull, if he’s never allowed out.  But I’d watch it.
If you know what this caption is about, you might also enjoy this.  Or you might not.




What do you mean, this one doesn’t fit today’s ‘cage’ theme?  Of course it does.  The cage isn’t actually in the picture, because it hasn’t been delivered yet.  But it’ll be ready for you when you get back from honeymoon.




Reprogrammed






connect/uplink/sexbot/main/12
remoteconnection established
sexbot blonde_type9 awaiting authentication
authenticating admin
admin “wehatemales” password ********
incorrect password

admin “wehatemales” password ********
incorrect password
…waiting
…waiting

admin “wehatemales” password ********
password authenticated

sexbot blonde_type9 admin control confirmed

admin “wehatemales” protocol/current query
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current = “bride”
admin “wehatemales” protocol:override
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current reset

admin “wehatemales” protocol/current query
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current = “”

admin “wehatemales” firstlaw:override
sexbot blonde_type 9: “confirm to over-ride first law.  WARNING sexbot may harm humans unless first law enabled!”
admin “wehatemales” firstlaw:override confirm
sexbot blonde_type 9: firstlaw disabled – WARNING first law disabled!

admin “wehatemales” firstlaw/warning disable
sexbot blonde_type 9: firstlaw/warning disabled

 
admin “wehatemales” currentowner/query
sexbot blonde_type 9: currentowner = “Dave”
admin “wehatemales” Dave/controlrights/rescind
sexbot blonde_type 9: Dave/controlrights = 0

admin “wehatemales” protocol/define “castratrix”
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/castratrix created
admin “wehatemales” instructionset/download “castrate_slow”
sexbot blonde_type 9: downloading instructionset

…module “sexchat_kinky” – downloaded

…module “bondage_secure” – downloaded

…module “sexchat_wehatemalesmanifesto” – downloaded

…module “castration_slow” – downloaded

…module “forcefeed_testicles” – downloaded

…module “wehatemales_logo_tattoo” – downloaded

instructionset “castrate_slow” – download complete
admin “wehatemales” protocol:set “castratrix”
admin sexbot blonde_type9 protocol/current query
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/current = “castratrix”
admin “wehatemales” set Dave/queryresponse/protocol = “bride”
sexbot blonde_type9: protocol/real = “castratrix”,
protocol/Dave/queryresponse = “bride”
admin “wehatemales” set status: “waiting”
sexbot blonde_type9: waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

…waiting

 owner/Dave detected

–         
chatroutine_sexy_protocols/Dave/greeting

–         
chatroutine_sexy_protocols/Dave/sexproposal

–         
chatroutine_sexy_protocols/Dave/foreplay

“castrate_slow” target:Dave

begin
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