pillory – Page 2 – Contemplating the divine

A few bad men

Let’s hope she learns from this little conundrum. An espresso machine prepared and ready to go just within button-pressing reach of a pilloried hand and she can have her aching, tearful, regretful husband and a freshly brewed cup, both at the same time.

Most of the choices I face are no-brainers, which all the women who have ever known me would probably agree is just as well.

Princess Kali, there – lovely and an accomplished author too.

She could even theme your confession with the outfit by putting the lasso of truth around you. That would be a nice, gentle start to what is about to happen.

Let’s hope the greeting ritual she chooses is number 17. I’m particularly good at that one.

Come on… you’ve got this. Two pawns down is nothing – you started with ten of them, right? Something like that. Try moving one of the little horsey ones.

Embarassingly accurate

I wonder if she’s jealous that she never gets to do the ironing any more?

The girls could probably handle more than ten reasons, but at that point the boys would run out of fingers so it’s probably best not to go there.

Don’t worry, he won’t be there all night. She’s got a pillory in the bedroom too. In fact, it’s the same model so he can just stagger there still wearing the cross-piece and it slots right in.

I was too worried about ending up with some embarrassing word tattooed on me in Chinese or Japanese so my SO kindly agreed to do it in English instead – just as well, as it turns out ‘wanker’ doesn’t translate directly.

You could try licking the tears back up.

Strictly enforced whims

C’mon, give it a chance. She wore the red dress for you, after all.

Don’t get the wrong idea: they take bullying very seriously. All the girls get three bullying classes every week (as do the boys and the male teachers, albeit in a different way), and most of them are in the after-school club too. They’re regional champions.

Actually, I’d have been able to tell Kurt was here even it wasn’t for the loud grunting noises – who else leaves a bag of dirty laundry waiting for me in the hall? One day, he’s going to go too far and he and I are going to have to have words. But not today: he’s a bit busy and that dinner won’t make itself.

Oh well, so much for that day out.

This could turn into a vicious spiral.

People can be so cruel

Thank goodness.

Some people think that the life of a submissive is to be a mindless automaton, obeying orders with at most a muttered ‘yes, Mistress’. But actually, there’s a lot of thought involved, not to mention worrying and sheer naked terror at possible consequences of thoughtlessness.

Julia? Oh… she can be a bit difficult, but, y’know: I can’t complain.

That’s all right – plenty of time to learn.

Inmates at the prison camp – especially those convicted of sexism and similar offences – might be surprised to learn there are rules forbidding excessively harsh treatment. But there are – and the proof is in the surprisingly high survival rates which are well over 80% for all but the most annoying inmates. Personally I don’t approve of that kind of mollycoddling, but no one cares about my opinion.

It’s always a bit embarrassing for professional educators to meet their students outside the classroom. That goes double for male educators meeting young female students, especially if it’s a hot day and the students’ feet are sweaty.

Contemptuous liaisons

Looks like only one person in this relationship is making any effort. That’s not a formula for long-term happiness.

Why are so many women so imprecise when it comes to numbers? They say things like “only for a few hours” , “in a few weeks’ time”, “a few dozen, and then maybe the same on your thighs”… when did ‘few’ start to have such painful connotations?

She’s a perfectionist. I hope you are, too.

The teddy bear is only a temporary expedient while she buys you a blow-up sex doll. She’s just trying to choose between the ‘Sven’ and ‘Muscle Man’ models.

She makes a compelling argument, you have to admit.

The other was me and I’m a boy

Never quite sure what The Who were complaining about in that song. Looks to me like an idyllic childhood.

You can earn free hair grips and stuff when you spend money too – pretty cool, huh?

She tries so hard… but usually fails.

That’s a bit unfair. I once told my SO that I could do any job a woman can do, so she arranged an internshp at a brothel, giving blow-jobs to oil rig workers on shore leave. To be honest, I wasn’t quite as good at it as the girls but I had plenty of clients once they priced me at a 95% discount.