pets – Contemplating the divine

Every man has a wild beast within him

But fortunately these days, more and more women are skilled in trapping and subduing these feral creatures and in the training techniques needed for domestication.

You might get a little embarassed asking the waitress – by kneeling before her with your paws up, panting wordlessly – but it’ll be worth it, you’ll see.

The problem with his company is that it wasn’t really listening enough to the equestrienne community. That won’t be a problem from now on, in fact these two ladies are planning to set up an advisory board to guide all future major – and minor – decisions.

George doesn’t do it for the applause, nor for the money – in fact he’s an unpaid volunteer. No: for George it’s best described as a labour of love and he really doesn’t need any public acknowledgement, not least because in his day job he’s a well-known lawyer.

Don’t push your luck, though. When she’s walked you home, wait patiently to see if she invites you in – and if instead she just unclips your leash and says goodnight, don’t try to change her mind.

What, you thought OWK ladies talk about nothing but whips and slavery?

First oppressions matter

It’s good to have a mid-morning energy boost, especially when you’ve got Class 6d at 11.15. They can be a bit challenging, I’ve heard.

Good to know she’s researched it so carefully. Anyway, would it matter so much? More than her need to be soaped matters? I don’t think so, and nor do you if you’re honest with yourself, right?

Actually, he might end up trying to mate with Elisa. Not his decision, after all.

Boys can do computer too. And I don’t just mean cleaning keyboards. And not just getting the coffee, although obviously with only one male in the team no one else is going to be doing that.

Fortunately, all your pain receptors still work.

There’s a two-legged animal running about

… but if it’s kneeling down on one knee, I reckon things are probably OK.

It can be more complicated for them to find better quality ‘playmates’, as those are often reported as missing after a while. Which isn’t a problem – she’s even had some minor celebrities who’ve disappeared into her playroom – but it’s an added complication.

With a bit of luck, maybe Pookie will get bored of having monthly orgasms after a while and stop trying so hard. Then it’ll be your turn. Just give it time.

Looks like you have an extra 45 minutes free! Whatever will you do with it? Ironing, dusting… the possibilities are almost endless (within the very limited range of things you’re permitted to do, obviously). Later on, it looks like there’ll be quite a lot of chocolate stains to clean up, so best to get ahead on the regular chores.

She’s enjoying it in a non-sexual way… and if you’re as exhausted and sore as she implies, you’re probably hating it in a non-sexual way too. So that’s very compatible.

She’s quite tender-hearted, so she’ll be upset when she comes back from her next trip to the forest but I expect Vanya 2 can cheer her up.

Libidon’t

Actually, I often find myself lying awake at night thinking about some tiny little thing or other.

Sounds ideal. If you’re wondering how occasional the kinky sex is planned to be, the answer is that it depends very much on the other stuff.

How does she know I’m creepy? I haven’t even said anything creepy yet.

My SO’s boyfriend is quite broadminded and doesn’t object to her having a submissive as such – apparently it’s just me he can’t stand.

Yes. Much better not to know.

…and as a special extra treat, and at the possible cost of infecting my computer with every virus from here to Sunday, as I looked for video-editing software, here is an animated GIF…

Woooo!

Well, I’m impressed. I mean by the way I was able to add the captions. I don’t mean by her. She is – obviously – truly… deeply impressive.

Misbehaving

I’m sure he’d like to count the days. Unfortunately, they keep the facility on a random sleep-eat-exercise-sleep cycle lasting anything from four to 48 hours, so he’ll have no idea how much time has passed. Which is just as well, because she’s not actually going to be back in six months: that’s just a little white lie to avoid hurting his feelings.

I had this idea because I’m going diving next week. But don’t worry – I’m not being fed to the sharks! It’s all very safe. My SO and I are going with these two lesbian friends of hers, one of whom is going to be my ‘dive buddy’. It’s her job to check my tank has enough air, as well as to ensure the proper amount of lead weights are securely attached around my belt, wrists, ankles and neck. So, yeah: perfectly safe.

It’s good to be a dog.

The pain from the spikes is all about her, too.

I made a similar point to my SO just the other day – wouldn’t it be better some time if I felt sorry of my own accord, instead of her having to make me feel sorry? But after quite a vigorous discussion, I realised what a bad idea it was.

Long to reign over us

Ymmmph

Like many dommes, she’s actually the kindest person you could ever meet. Although she must know that the poor thing’s probably already dead, she’s going to pull and push and press and kick with all her might, if there’s still a chance that could get it out unharmed

Yes – useful tip there: it’s a ‘storage space’. I went to the out of town furniture superstore and asked to see beds with an inbuilt cuckie closet and the saleswoman gave me ever such a funny look. She took me to the right section, though, so I suppose that it was all right. And she even let Raoul and my wife try the mattress out, so in the end it worked out quite well for everyone.

Yeah, lots of people say size doesn’t matter but they’re not the ones being used as pain-toys because it’s all they’re good for, now, are they?

The glorious Gigi Allens, of course. Is there a sadder phrase anywhere on the Internet than her self-description as a ‘former professional dominatrix’? Howl!

Actually, for me it was the maid’s costume in that movie. Mrrrrow!

Because she says so

…is there ever any other reason?

It’ll help take your mind off the pain, while you’re waiting, anyway. Nothing like ‘more pain’, to do that.

How exciting! I wonder who it is?

It’s good to talk these things through. And then to smack them out.

You’ve either seen the movie or you haven’t.

Can’t stop staring at.. the …gloves…! Oh, er, right! Dinner. yes, right away.

Dealing with feelings of guilt

I’d like you to meet some ladies who are really good at that.

Don’t worry, you’ll show her. Just go and get yourself a lawyer and – oh. OK, so if you save your pocket money for about two years, maybe you can afford a really cheap lawyer, and then…