housework – Page 5 – Contemplating the divine

My company was charming

Well, what am I supposed to do with the other 38 seconds, then?

Thank goodness she’s looking out for me.

Don’t try to argue or plead your way out of it – it’s one of those Mars/Venus things, you know? She’s got some emotional issues that need to be worked out and until Gerald arrives, you’re the only one she can turn to.

In the femdom community, athlete’s foot is considered an STD.

You’ll notice she hasn’t put the surfboard on the fire yet. Another Mars/Venus moment, yeah? Any ideas why ? Hmm? No? Sigh…because she’s waiting to see if you’ll do it yourself without being specifically asked, you unfeeling brute. Obviously, this relationship is going to need a lot of work.

Spousework

Very sensible of her to discuss it straight away, so they can sort whatever it is out and get on with their marriage.

I suppose it’s good that she’s finally getting more use out of them. Normally, she puts them on once a month at most and even then she only uses one finger and a thumb of the left glove.

Nothing humiliating there… move on.

Oh, Susan will blame him. She needn’t worry about that. He should, though.

Mind what? Why can’t the ladies featured on this blog just say what they mean? It’s maddening, it really is.

When you’re in a fix

just call for the men in tights!

Well… those are two of her spanking aprons, anyway. She has more.

You never know when you’ll need to do some sudden washing up in the middle of the night.

Hmm.. Turned out they don’t have a vibrator at the reception desk, but they sent up a couple of their room service guys anyway and they were able to sort the problem out, so that was OK. Pretty impressive customers service, I’d say.

Now you see that’s just typical of my wife – she sends me out to buy the stuff but doesn’t tell me what she wants it for! Now I’m going to have to buy both – she hasn’t heard the last of this, you know!

The magic’s still there.

They can beg and they can plead

…but they can’t see the light.

Are you sitting uncomfortably? Then she’ll begin.

You’re actually already halfway through the session. Might as well finish off.

Good. Good. I expect she’ll be chucking away all those dusty old wine bottles in the cellar and filling up the racks with some nice fresh sparkling wine with cheerful labels, too.

If it’s any consolation to him, after her friend has finished the face-slapping session tomorrow, he will look like a house elf.

As it happens, the second guy from the front is the Financial Director of one of the biggest German pension and insurance conglomerates. He’s wondering whether he should say something here – but by now he’s probably got more sense.

I was so upset I cried

… all the way to the chip shop.

It might.

Let’s hope he doesn’t say anything embarrassing.

A male submisive who fantasises about domestic drudgery but actually doesn’t know the first thing about housework? Wow – pretty crazy idea, huh?

The worst of it is, she doesn’t allow me nearly enough pocket money to even dream of saving up to pay for a session with her. So it’ll be bananas all the way.

She knows, having tested a few to destruction.

And when he pulls his frilly nylon panties right up tight

…He feels a dedicated follower of fashion

Oh yes he is (oh yes he is)

But you get bigger tips, so maybe it’s nearly even.

There! Now who can still claim that men can’t take on front-line combat roles?

I’ve heard chlorinated water can be quite good for cuts and bleeding welts, so maybe if you ask nicely she’ll ask them to dip you in the pool when you’re done.

Yet oddly enough, he still gets it wrong. Men and housework… will they ever learn?

Sissy fights always end the same way, at least when wives are around to step in.

Every lady shall be exalted

… and every husband and man shall be laid low.

You have to ask if you want the built-in sliding cucky drawer, though. It costs extra.

Divorce can be painful.

My apologies to all of those submissive men out there who are highly skilled at housework, and don’t just use it as an excuse to flounce around humiliatingly in a little maid’s dress in session. Sorry – I mean, both those submissive men…

Also quite a lot bigger. They can still do SPH play, though. She’s kept his original one in a jar.

Biting’s not the worst of it. Bloody Rufus. No friend of mine.

Cause you’re my lady, I’m your fool

… so beat me up before you go go

I occasionally have difficulty getting through passport control, admittedly. But I always have a permit to travel signed by a responsible female, so it’s OK.

The lovely Goddess Lexi on the right there. And… another lovely goddess on the left I’m sure one of you will tell me who that is, won’t you?

She’s so professional, it hurts. It hurts a lot.

Because reasons? No? OK – I’ll get back to work.

And this goddess is Mistress Arella. I knew that without even looking at the label, there. Czech, you know. I wonder if it’s something in that country’s history…. invaded by Germans, Russians… and I’ve heard the frost is cru-el.

She must have another cummyshoe for goodness sake. They sell them in pairs. Why does it always have to be this one?

I personally think that a boy can do almost any job a woman can do. Just not as well and only under strict female supervision.

The wrongs of man

are self-evident but can be sorted out by the smack of firm government in the right hands.

She sounds like she knows what she’s doing.

Another day, another dollar. Well… not a whole dollar, obviously. That’s just a saying. In fact, they only spend a penny each time.

Huh! I’d like to see him do better.

Maybe try another topic of conversation? I mean – you got her attention. That’s a good start.

See, there he is while she’s telling him how upset she was about his thoughtless gift and all he can think about is how his lungs are burning. That’s what men are like. It’s a good thing there’s femdom to help set us right, that’s all I can say.

Let’s do the time-warp again

Those of you who have been reading this blog from the very begining in 2011 ~~are very, very bad and perverted people who deserve to be forcibly~~ may well recall that one of the very first posts was of the front pages of some magazines that had fallen through a erm… worm hole time dimensional vortex thingummy and landed on my desk.

Oh yes, you do remember. Of course you do. Stop lying – has no one ever told you it’s very naughty to lie, boy? Hmm? Look – just go here if you’re one of those johnny-come-latelies who’ve only started reading this in the last five years, OK?

The title was a little odd. I think back then I was occasionally trolling the followers of a rather devout Christian who had a blog of the same name, so there were a lot of religiously titled posts. He’s now publishing religious blog posts in the form of piss-takes of femdom porn too, oddly enough, so it all seems entirely fair.

Anyway: three magazines had arrived from the far future… 2014*, 2017 and 2019. I must have missed my copy of Subbie Hubbie Monthly back in 2014, but I have already reserved my copy of Dominant Lady Quarterly (at the special male price of just £2500 per copy), so I am looking forward to April.

Anyway (again): it happened a second time! Would you believe it? Three magazines, no doubt from the faaaaar far distant future. These ones don’t actually have dates on them, oddly enough. So.. yeah, here they are.

* Well I didn’t know this blog was going to be going on so long, did I? I thought I’d have something better to do with my time by now. Oh well.