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| Actually, in most conversations it’s good to have a hairbrush handy. Just in case. |
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| Quite right. What’s the worst that can happen? |
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| Actually, all her dungeon equipment is. |
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| Philosophy. It’s a girl thing. |
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| Again. |
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| Actually, in most conversations it’s good to have a hairbrush handy. Just in case. |
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| Quite right. What’s the worst that can happen? |
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| Actually, all her dungeon equipment is. |
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| Philosophy. It’s a girl thing. |
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| Again. |
As I’d love to be…still, this blog talks about castration anyway. Quite a lot, actually.
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| Sometimes, they are even the same aspect of the same place. |
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| That’s a relief. It would be a bit embarassing to have had to reply “a small cupboard” to any questions about where you spent your honeymoon. And you know her rule about always telling the truth. |
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| Oh, OK. Maybe we’re not talking about castration today, after all. Maybe we’re not talking about anything. |
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| I suspect ‘we’ will. |
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| I hope so too. |
The Lady of Situations.
Sorry – just thought we needed some better poetry, after my recent efforts. On with the show
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| She’s quite strict, too. Try to get the sums right. |
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| Actually, it’s the beatings that are about you that are the worst. |
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| Resistance is futile. |
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| Actually, a remarkable 23% of drownings occur at home. I think this is probably how. Stay safe – always do your chores to her satisfaction. |
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| No. I wouldn’t. I’d want to stay there forever. |
Hmmm? No, that was
a couple of years ago now.
Yes, I suppose he could still be doing it. Wouldn’t that be freaky? Maybe I should tell my security people to
watch out for a guy hobbling along on crutches.
There are some real weirdos out there, aren’t there?
So, let me tell you about my new movie…”
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| Never mind. They can’t spend the whole two weeks discussing your sexual inadequacies, now can they? |
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| And you can play out ‘small penis humiliation’ scenes even more effectively! You like SPH, right? |
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| Plenty of time. Brain damage sets in quite quickly, but it’s a few minutes after that before any vital organs are affected. |
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| Well, she seems very determined. Just as well, at those hourly rates. |
Hi honey!
Listen – I was talking to my accountant the other day, and I was telling him all about how humiliated you feel, out of work all this time, and entirely dependent on me – and he –
– Oh don’t be silly. I don’t have secrets from my accountant! –
Anyway – he had the most brilliant idea! He said, why don’t I set up a company and employ you! I mean, I can easily afford it. I get paid more money for one day’s filming than you used to earn in a year, after all! It’s nothing to me, really. Just loose change.
Hmm? Oh I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter what you do, does it? He said he could run up some meaningless forms, and you can spend the day filling them in or something.
And he’s found an office across town where you can do it. Quite a way off – you’ll be commuting for a few hours each day. Just like having a real job! Isn’t that exciting?
Oh no, too late to pull out now. He’s already bought the office block. It was just a few millions, and apparently there’s some kind of tax dodge so it doesn’t really cost me anything.
And he’s already found someone we can pay to be your boss. Hmmmm? Oh, I don’t know. Some awful sweaty old guy, I think. He’ll be on your case all the time, apparently. That way, it’ll feel more like you’re really earning your money, won’t it?
So – you’ll have your own money, and you won’t have to depend on me for everything! Won’t that be great? Minimum wage, of course, but we’ll get a performance management system set up, so maybe you can earn bonuses and promotions for working extra hard – that kind of thing.
Of course you can still live here, sweetie! But I’m going to charge you rent! So you’ll feel really independent and self-sufficient. And I’ll tell the maids to stop cleaning your room.
But I still get to buy you presents, OK? You’ll let me do that?
Great. Maybe I can keep on choosing your clothes, just like now. I like doing that.
Hmm? No, you don’t need to buy new clothes for the job. You have a cute little uniform. It says “Hathaway Enterprises” on it. Isn’t that sweet?
And if there’s ever anything you really want to buy – that you can’t afford – you can always ask. You know that don’t you? It’s not as if the money means anything to me, but for you it’ll be a big deal, now you’re paying for yourself, won’t it? So maybe when I do buy you things, now they’ll be that much more special!
Oh, no, don’t worry about that, darling! Like I said – it’s really just pocket change for me! If I just do one more commerical in Japan, or something like that, apparently it’s enough to employ you 9-5 every day for the next ten years! Isn’t that amazing? So don’t worry about the money – I know it seems like a lot to you, but it’s nothing for me, nothing at all. The important thing is that we need to build up your self-respect! That’s all that matters!
Just think how proud you’ll feel in a year’s time, if you’ve worked hard and I give you a pay rise!
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| It’s amazing what you can achieve with a little thoughtfulness and the daily touch of a razor-sharp blade. |
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| When the cat’s away, the mice will.. well, do their chores and write lines, by the look of it. |
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| Sometimes these things are just, well, involuntary aren’t they? It’s not that she wants to burn your hand with the iron – she just feels a compulsion. |
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| She’s probably joking. Don’t you think she’s joking? |
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| There are more hot chicks in empire-line dresses right here, if that’s your thing. According to Google, though, I’m the only person in the world for whom “hot chicks in empire-line dresses” is a thing, so maybe not. |
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| It’s a good thing we like being treated with contempt, nicht wahr? |
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| You’d better read the whole thing through, because I’m sure she’ll have got ‘minuscule’ wrong, and she usually forgets there are two ‘p’s in ‘disappointing’. |
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| Actually, you don’t really even have to ask. If she hasn’t already bought it for you, you probably don’t really need it, do you? |
It’s her favourite. But she can tell when I’m faking.
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| It’s all Paul”s fault. I don’t know why Yvonne lets him get away with it. |
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| If they look really closely, they just might begin to develop doubts about the authenticity of those stone walls. But then, they were never very bright even before being subjected to all of this. |
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| That anal hook will be mine. |
…I always thought the phrase was about “revenge” but She assures me it’s really “baked beans”. Or “bacon rind”. Who knew?
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| Why don’t they wear boots like that any more? I’d pay extra. A lot extra. |
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| Self-referential? Self-knowing? Or just self-abuse? You decide – it’s too complicated for me. |
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| Anyway, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you join in and make it a threesome. |
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| He’ll find that out very quickly. And then very, very slowly, too. |
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| Actually, I can’t imagine anything more horrible than leaving her anyway. But then, she probably can. |