Oh hello, Sir! We
wanted to talk to you about our maths grades.
We were wondering if maybe you’d miscounted?
I mean, it’s unlikely. You being a maths teacher and
all. And we’re just schoolgirls. Naughty schoolgirls, who are bad at sums.
You like teaching schoolgirls, don’t you, Mr Harris? We
know, ‘cos we looked through your things and you’ve got ever so many books and
magazines about it! You must be really
devoted to your profession, to want to read about it all the time like that…
They’re ever so strict, though, aren’t they? The teachers in your magazines, I mean. Those poor
girls and their sore bottoms! Belinda
here was worried that maybe you’d smack our bottoms for being so naughty! But I told her that was totally illegal and
you’d go to prison.
Annie wondered whether you could go to prison just for
having those magazines, but I don’t think you can, can you? Not illegal to enjoy looking at pictures of
grown-up women dressed as schoolgirls having their bottoms smacked, is it? Not even for a teacher at a girls’ school. I’m sure the Head and the Board of Governors
wouldn’t mind.
If we showed them.
Really? You might
have miscounted our grades after all?
Oh. By how much? ‘cos we think we got 20 every time.
No, really. Every single time. Even when it was marked out of ten or fifteen. You’re a maths teacher, I expect you can come up with some clever maths to do that. Can’t you?
That reminds: there was a story in one of Mr Harris’s magazines about a girl who needed better grades in maths, wasn’t there, Annie? And she ended up with the teacher’s penis in her mouth – do you remember? I shouldn’t think that tasted nice at all… I don’t suppose teachers are allowed to do that these days, either.
Do you remember that one, Sir? It looked like you’d read that one quite often. Belinda thought maybe you’d spilled something on the page.
Did we? Ooh! Twenty every time? Well, that is good news, isn’t it, girls?
Still… it’s not very impressive is it? For a maths teacher to
have made a mistake in counting up like that!
It should have been 20 every time, but you gave us four, five, six… That’s
a lot of mistakes in your arithmetic, isn’t it, Sir?
I wonder if there’s anything we could do to help you
improve? I mean, obviously you need to learn to do sums a lot better, don’t you? Sir?
What do you think would happen to one of the girls in your
magazines who made that many mistakes in maths?
We were talking about that just now. I think she’d at least get her hands tawsed, the poor thing, but Belinda here reckons
it’d probably be the cane across her bum. And Annie thought it would be both.
But you’re the professional, Sir. So what do you think?
Images, obviously, from St Mackenzies, comprising part of that tiny, tiny fraction of the photos they publish taken before everyone gets their kit off.
