female-led relationships – Page 24 – Contemplating the divine

New Year resolutions

To mark the passing of the old year, and the beginning of the new, I decided to ask all of the ladies who regularly appear on Contemplating the Divine to share their New Year resolutions with our ‘readers’.

Most of them just told me to fuck off and die, of course, but here are the contributions from those who did not. Oh – and believe me, when these ladies resolve to do something, it does get done.

Apparently I’m going to have some New Year resolutions too, but She hasn’t told me what they are yet. Quite exciting!

,,,and last but always first in my heart…

Faith, hope and chastity

And the best of these is hope.
SORRY! Sorry. I mean chastity. Ma’am.

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone?

Thank goodness she’s not cross.

Actually, most of the change happened in the first two weeks.

She was keen to explore his ballbusting fantasies too.

Wise husbands know when it’s best not to argue, just to curtsey and get on with the ironing.

and yes I said yes I will Yes.

Todays theme is love.

But then, it always is.

Enjoy.

That was kind, don’t you think? Changing her plans like that, just for you.

Spent my life explorin the subtle whorin

The customer is always right.

Number 17.

Soft power… stronger than diamond.

Try to see it Her way

Quite a moment here, in your marriage. Because it’s the last time you’ll hear “fetch the canvas bag” without experiencing that stab of fear.

Nothing wrong with a healthy day’s sport. Really, they’re just helping Nature to keep the numbers down.

Another femdom castration caption? Dear me

Hmmm… she’s rather pretty isn’t she? It’ll be fun fantasising about her when you’re lying in bed after your operation. As long as your throat doesn’t ache so much you’re not feeling in the mood, anyway. Something to look forward to!

Lesbian twosome is the closest youll get

God, it can be agonising waiting for a woman to come sometimes, can’t it? Especially when you’ve started drawing blood. Oh well – better get on with it.

Really, you can scream and beg as much as you like. She doesn’t mind at all.

I have to praise Her

…like I should…

Although to be fair, it takes him even longer. Months, usually.

Oh don’t worry – it’s just a caption, she’s not really that unfeeling. Anyway, she got another one, so it all ended up well.

Marriage – it takes some getting used to. Just deciding to eat whenever you feel like it, thinking only of yourself, entering or leaving a room without permission, owning things – you just have to gradually accept that you don’t do that any more.

One femdom swallow does not a summer...oh Im not going there

Refusng to swallow could turn out to be quite hazardous to your health, though.

Mmmmpphrrrnnnghhhh.

Safe words

“Sorry” is usually fairly safe, I find.

Hmmm…

“Yes Mistress” is generally quite harmless too…

Not sure I know of any others.

Another day, another, err…

I used to think it was a load of nonsense, but then I went on a gender sensitivity course and was surprised to discover just how sensitive parts of my body could become.

I have nothing to say.

Isn’t technology wonderful? Just a few fingers swiped across this simple device and all the household chores are done and there’s an extra €10,000 in her bank account. Amazing.

Nothing wrong with a few visible signs of a good healthy loving relationship.

Marks for bad behaviour

What was his offence? Oh – reading porny blogs on the Internet, I think. Eighteen months with hard labour – he got off quite lightly, wouldn’t you say?

Mmmm. A new experience!.

Just like a mother to remind you of those embarassingtimes over her knee, eh? Last Friday, for example, just before the wedding. That was a bad one.

Freedom is slavery.

D-I-V-O-R-C-E - find out what you mean to her

Well… at least you’re talking. That’s good, right?

A facility for correction

This wonderful lady certainly has one. Thank You, my Lady.

‘Dainty’. Isn’t that a nice word? All dainty down there. And kinda cute.

Oh – and for the orgasm shots they use a body double.

Fortunately, all my girlfriends assured me that I never suffered too much from that particular complaint.

Are you going to let her order you about like that? Are you? Well?

Funny, that, because it always tastes exactly like soap.

Screaming when she comes

I usually find I do.

On with the captioned images of printed circuits. Sorry, I mean female domination. Long day.

And there he was thinking he’d got off lightly for once. Good thing Linda came home.

It’s nice when something you thought was finished gives you just a little bit extra like that.

But you have to pay her €500 first.

I think this is one of those times when it’s just up to you to decide how to take it, you know? On the one hand you could get angry – let’s face it, it was a pretty mean trick. But on the other, you could just be pathetically grateful that they noticed your miserable existence at all, couldn’t you?

Actually, to be entirely accurate, you won’t be able to leave one small corner of the basement.

The truth can hurt

…but so can lying.

Actually, he was wearing two belts.

Men’s brains aren’t good at remembering dates, but they do have a really good nerve connection to the genitals, so it’s a perfect match.

“Snip-Lit”. It’s going to be the next big thing after 50 Shades of Grey, you’ll see.

She’s not actually a dentist. She did admit that on his fourth visit, to be fair.

I think this is one of those marriages where the arguments always end up with screaming and tears, don’t you?