Downton domination – Page 3 – Contemplating the divine

Painful conversations

They have a 97% record of safe deliveries, so there’s actually very little to worry about, as long as you’ve been a good husband.

And I’m sure Herbert’s is not a cock he’d like suck either! So why on earth are they doing it? Men are odd.

If you’re thinking of trying this, be careful, OK? Those chastity inspectors are no joke. She could lose her keyholder licence and you could lose your… well anyway, just be careful, yeah?

Actually, that’s not quite true. She loves her job, but she’d rather be doing ear, nose and throat surgery. That’s where her real interest lies, but apparently you have to do a stint in every department before you can specialise.

Hmm. It’s tricky, isn’t it?

Service orientation

My SO’s always had the same rule. Sulky face = semen face. Simple, no argument.

Or breakfast, if you’re not hungry enough by tonight.

I’d end up paying a lot of guys for a lot of things, if that rule applied to me. It’s important to prioritise: to spend your money on the things that make her most happy.

Many people who get into porn movies just do it for a short time, but snuff movie stars, oddly enough, often spend the rest of their lives in the business.

My first girlfriend told me she was strongly opposed to corporal punishment of children. When I turned eighteen, I discovered she had strong views on the corporal punishment of adults, too.

She says…

… now baby just you shut your mouth.

Not complaining. It’s just that I usually make it through the first three minutes without one, that’s all.

Try to be reasonable. She is. She sees good in everyone actually – a rare gift.

Obviously, it’s all perfectly consensual. She asked for her husband to be beaten. And she’s got a safeword – you know, just in case it goes too far.

My SO and I are actually playing what I’m fairly sure is the longest game of tease and denial ever right now. We started on our wedding night and it’s just amazing. I tried calling the Guinness Book of Records people but they said it didn’t count because I am such a sad little loser.

Downton domination. More of these to come.