dominant wife – Page 14 – Contemplating the divine

Freddie’s back

If you like Contemplating the Divine* then you will certainly have loved Freddie’s Tales.** You, therefore, like me, will have been devasted when Freddie’s Tales disappeared from one day to the next. Also like me, therefore***, you will be absolutely delighted that Freddie is back, with a new blog and no doubt just raring to produce more of those fabulous Beetle books.

So get yourself over to Freddie’s new blog. I – hey come back! I didn’t mean now. Read the captions below first, moron. That’s what you came here for, right? Men… I dunno.

My SO and I have been experimenting with pre-signed suicide notes. It’s a kind of next-level thing, you know? Edgy, I know, but it works for us.

I think I can give her 110%.

Sounds like you are actually going to be discussing it… at length. But not until you’re safely married.

Consent seems to be a theme of this post. That’s because it’s so important. My SO always insists that I consent to everything she does to me.

Thank goodness they no longer hunt foxes. That was so cruel.

* And if you don’t like Contemplating the Divine what the fuck are you doing here? Are you some kind of weird masochist or something? Freak.

** Except the Femsub bits, obviously. One day, I hope young Freddie will meet a lady who will set him right about the suitability of that sort of material.

*** Writing this, I realise how uncannily similar we are, you and I. We laugh at the same things, cry together – we should get a drink some time, yeah?

Household rulers

I’m normally done in 15 seconds anyway, actually.

Some evenings she likes just to chain him to the cold cellar floor, come upstairs, grab a bottle of Chardonnay and a box of tisues and settle down to a good rom-com on TV.

As long as the first ring goes on OK, erections shouldn’t be a problem.

That is the deal. I have yet to discover when, if ever, is ‘off shift’.

I seem to spend my whole life charging devices – if it’s not the shock collar, it’s the phone, and all her vibrators need constantly to be fully charged too… modern world, I suppose.

The angel at my side…

…. she gives me good advice.

Actually, the idea that men can’t multi-task is a complete myth. Men who think they can’t just need to meet a woman with the right attitude. It’s just laziness.

Don’t worry… they don’t tug hard. She does, but that’ll be the scrotal clip, not the nipple… so not so bad.

Life as a conversation piece.

Oh well. It’s better than coming back down to ‘discuss’ it while they’re still here. I hate that.

Decisions, decisions. Thank goodness I never have to make any.

You make a grown man cry

Don’t worry: Janine would never let you be eaten by some cat on the street. She has her own cat whom she loves dearly.

You can buy her gifts too. Lots of them, to make sure there are at least a few she’ll like.

This is the wonderful, clever and creative Lady Sophia Black, who has occasionally had the bad luck to encounter Servitor in person, but managed to come out smiling an evil smile the other side. She is – needless to say – not at all like the personality depicted in the caption.

It’s going to be kind of like the Revenant but without clothes. Or the bear. And shorter.

I read a men’s lib magazine once when I was a teeanger – it was being passed around the boys at school, you know. I didn’t understand much of it, but it suggested that readers try to discuss some of the ideas in it with the women in their lives, so I asked one of my sisters and she explained it to me at length.

That’s the trouble with marriage problems – one day you think everything’s fine, that you’re in love and nothing can ever disturb that: then before you know it you’re hanging naked on a meat hook about to be castrated. You woinder where it went wrong, you know? The important thing to remember is that it’s all your fault.

Seductive logic

I understand they have some extra toppings to add, too.

Seems only fair. He was up half the night, poor chap.

Knew I should have gone with the gift card.

I went to see the St Trinians movie as soon as it came out, but I was a bit disappointed that I was the only one who’d bothered to dress up for it.

Thanks for coming.

Marriage service

The marriage is still going to be based on respect – a lot of respect. It’s just not going to be mutual.

It’s actually quite enlightening, being lent out to former, vanilla, girlfriends. There’s all sorts of things you discover you did, or said, during the relationship that you’ve long since forgotten but they’re eager to discuss.

Of course, she can’t expect perfection, and she doesn’t. She just requires it, that’s all.

The other lady has the rings ready – and he’s already been pierced, so they can just be welded on.

I was still being spanked by my mother at home when I met my first girlfriend, actually. She was one of my sister’s friends who’d come round to do some homework, and she came downstairs to find out what all the noise was about.

Penalty and repentance

They are – and not just the food. The sex will be longer, more satisfying and 100% female, too.

You get a special decoration too. Not a medal. Just… decoration.

Sometimes a question isn’t really a question.

It’s always difficult arriving as a substitute teacher, in the middle of the school year. But just do your best. Maybe Mr Harris will turn up again – he must be somewhere, after all.

Perpetuity is quite a long time. It might feel even longer.

The truth hurts

…but I have found that lying hurts even more.

I suppose it can’t hurt to try.

Don’t worry – it’s not the end of the discussion. There’ll be plenty of time for more apologies.

Actually, I had a bad experience just like this one. I thought I’d met the dominant woman of my dreams, but actually all she wanted was unpaid labour in her garden and it never really developed beyond that to a proper FLR, so after seventeen years I gave up on it. She still calls occasionally… and of course I don’t mind popping round for a few hours or days when she does, but I think we both realise the spark was never there.

They originally had proper school lessons but there’s not really much point teaching anything to boys who are only going to leave the school in a hearse, so most schoolwork consists of writing lines.

Not a problem I’ve ever had, I’ll admit.

You’ll always find me in the kitchen at parties

Happy relationships are all about boundaries. Many newly-married men get a bit silly about not being able to lead the batchelor life any more, but are you really any ‘less free’ just because from now on you can’t do or say anything your wife disapproves of? It’s just a different way of life, that’s all.

Rubbing up against a tree? Sounds a bit kinky.

She seems nice.

Yes, let’s.

What a lovely film that was. Especially the bath scene…

Tears before, during and after bedtime

It’s actually quite high in calories, but don’t worry about that because you’re unlikely to be able to keep much of it down.

Thank goodness for that. I think you can just leave the case in her capable hands.

I dunno – I find shops vary in the degree to which they are kink-friendly. Once I was sent to find some gear for an adult baby session and for some reason the staff in the ‘early years’ shop got all weird about it when I started asking about how strong their leather reins sets were, and whether the cots could be fitted with padlocks. But then on another occasion, I had to buy a hairbrush and the shop assistant in the department store I went to was delighted to help me try every one of them out. Said it was something she wished she could do to more customers. So you never know.

Silly boys. Reinforced seat trousers do little good when they’re around your ankles, anyway.

Male brains don’t multi-task. Mine barely tasks at all, to be honest. Now then: I was writing a caption..?