Rebel without a clue

She asked me, “What are you submitting to?” and I smirked and said “What have you got?”.

So she hit me.





I like this one.  I really do.  This is why I caption pictures.

Owwww!
It’s OK, you can scream if you like.  She doesn’t mind. Rather likes it, actually, if done with taste.





Domination Facial
You should be pleased.  Very few men can really make a woman laugh like that.





Toilet slavery and marriage, what a combination
We all have days that feel like that.  Harvey’s are just more literal.





Spiky chastity belt and spiky keyholder
You will thank her later, you know.

Sticks and stones will break my bones

and they have done on occasion when she got a bit carried away.


But words can never hurt me.  I sometimes beg my Significant Other to think up humiliating nicknames and insults for me, but she always says she can’t think of anything more degrading she could call me than my real name.  It’s odd, because she’s very creative in other areas of BDSM.

Two dommes no chance
Best just to go with it.  If you really find it’s not what you were looking for, you can always try asking for your money back at the end.


Starvation rations
I wonder which one it was.  I guess we’ll never know. Still, he’ll have been properly whipped, and if another three got whipped as well, I’m sure it won’t have done them any lasting harm.





POV with domme
No, not down here.  Up there.



Masochism is not a syndrome
Interestingly, there’s a scale for measuring self-esteem, and it’s only since she started this programme that the theoretical prediction that it could go negative has been demonstrated in reality.
Businesswoman dominates
You thought it might be rather embarassing working in the same office as her, again.  Guess what?  It will be.

The importance of terror in a healthy relationship

Often undervalued, don’t you think?  It’s the chill of fear striking deep into my stomach, as I watch the minute hand creep closer to the appointed hour, the hesitancy with which I approach the door and the tremble in my hand as I reach out for the doorbell that – for me – makes it more than just another way of getting bruises.


Ahem.


Next!








Domina takes all the money
Don’t be fooled by that severe exterior.  She’s actually a very kind person.  Why did you know, she gives 20% of all your money to animal charities?




Domme schoolgirl becomes domme grownup
Of course, she’ll need training.  The Headmistress reckons that Mr Jones, the maths teacher, might be available to assist.


Zapped slave
Apparently, the new one has voice recognition.  You have to train it to recognise your voice, though.  So you say “Clean the floor.” If it doesn’t do it – press the red button to zap its balls.  Then repeat the command.  It’s quite uncanny how accurate and responsive it can become.





Raoul's back
That Raoul has always had a wicked sense of humour. Remember that time he told her you’d called her a bitch? 




Superior wisdom
What a lucky man you are that someone so attractive takes the trouble to despise you.

Another rather unimaginative headline featuring femdom captions

With a big hello to search engines from all over.


Now, after a headline like that, I suppose there had better be some captioned images of female domination, hadn’t there?

But also more enjoyable for her.  There’s always an upside.


Look away now please
So with this one I – ow! – excuse me, I was just – OOH! – I’m sorry, I really…ohhhh that hurts!…need to move on to the next.  No caption here.


Lesbian tease
OW!  No better!


It still rhymes with hickory switch
Right.  Think calm thoughts.  It’s funny – we give our cat the stuff in tins as a treat, and the dry biscuity stuff for normal food.  So when my wife makes me eat the contents of one of the tins, I guess both me and the cat are unhappy about it.


Be afraid of your wife
Isn’t it an awful feeling?  When you just know you’re going to have an argument. But all arguments end, you know that too.  And you’ll be a better husband for it, after all.

No means no

Something too few men understand.  When a woman says no, that’s just what she means.  No you can’t stay out late.  No you’re going to stay down there until I come.  No, not after your behaviour this month.  No, you signed the contract and that’s that.  That sort of thing.  Get used to it.

Domme with a heavy wooden paddle
For some reason, that particular paddle is called “Angela”.  She might call you at work, to let you know that Angela’s going to be coming around that evening, that kind of thing.


You can lead a slave to Mistress but you can't errr
It’s nice to know there’s someone to pop in to feed them, if need be, so you don’t need to leave them any use of their hands when you’re away for a week or two.


Nurse with a cane intends to cure you
You’re allowed to discharge yourself, you know.  You just need to fill out a form.  You have to ask her for one.  And a pen.


The two beautiful stepsisters
It was such a relief to their mother, whose arm used to get quite tired in the first days of their marriage.


Your birthday only comes once a year
It’s a bit like being a kid again, isn’t it?  Those feelings of longing and anticipation for months before…and then it’s not exactly what you wanted, or it just doesn’t turn out as expected?  Still, being able to deal with these feelings is what makes us grown-ups, right?

Devotional blackmail

Better hurry up and get used to it – you’re late for work.








Planning a session…hope it’s like this.




Sexy wife wants to plkease a real man
She really appreciates it, because she knows how uncomfortable it makes you feel, seeing her in lingerie like that.  You can go and run some cold water over it if you like – but make sure you dry it off, so it can’t rust.



Rhymes with hickory switch
…and I’m certainly not allowed to write it.






Eating Raoul
Men can get so frustrated waiting for women to get ready.  It’s a good thing she has you to help.

Learning to disrespect myself for who I am

I went on a course at work this week that included a module on building self-esteem.  Fortunately I’ll be visiting my Significant Other soon, and she can usually put it right back to where it should be.  And it gave me an idea for one of the captions below.


On with the captioned images (of female domination)!






Domme secretary dumb boss
I think she’s due a pay rise.








Don't look down!
How did you get on?  Did you?  So did I.  Never mind – maybe next time.





Sneering domme psychiatrist...yum
You don’t have an inferiority complex, you see – you actually are inferior.


Two dominas play a bit rough
Never mind.  These things happen.

 


Anne sells a slave
The worst of it is that she’s a multi-millionaire film star.  It’s not as if she needs the money.

Even more femdom captions

The title today is perhaps a little unimaginative.  But as the most popular posting I have – by far – is one called “More femdom captions”, I thought I’d avoid the tortous unfunny puns, or references to early 80s soft punk, and just go straight for Google’s g-spot.


So – look out for posts in the future amusingly captioned “A few more femdom captions”, “Femdom captions and the real truth behind 9/11” and of course “Oi Google! – over here for the femdom captions”.


Still the only Google result for “hot chicks in empire-line dresses“, though!  That’ll bring the traffic.


Onwards…






Colin dreams of maledom
A man can only be pushed so far.  Ithink he’s reaching his limits.









Not that he was high to begin with
It’s a shame because actually he has a very high IQ just now.  Still, astrophysics doesn’t get the toilet clean, does it?  He’ll be happier this way. Or if he isn’t, no one will care. 




 
Castration oh my - that brings in the punters too.
That nurse might be a bit cross with you, for getting her into trouble like that.  Still, I expect she’ll put the local anaesthetic in anyway.  She’s a professional, you know.


She'll try Fibonaccir next
Sorry – bit of a strange mood today.


Cute, no?
Isn’t she kind?  Let’s hope she’s in a good mood tomorrow morning.  Try not to look too disappointed if she says no, though – she doesn’t like having her decisions questioned.


Sweet cruelty

Shackles - the making of many a femdom marriage
They laughed when I was said I was going to start a femdom blog devoted to humorous captions and stories.  They’re not laughing now…*


Strapped down, castrated...and ignored.
They offer a choice of general anaesthetic, local anaesthetic or straps plus a gag.  Most patients prefer some sort of anaesthetic.  But it’s not the patients who make the choice.

  
OWK smoking dominatrices starve slaves to death shock horror!
Of course, they give them drinks of water from time to time.  Otherwise they’d just die of thirst within a day or two.  Like the first batch.

Lovely lovely lovely...
Ooooo.

* Copyright Bob Monkhouse, approx. 1875.

Domesticated bliss

Images of slavery, beatings, forced labour, sexual humiliation and incarceration.  In short: marriage and other scenes from domestic life.


Schoolgirl dommes tidies up.
At weekends she makes sure the lawn is mown and the gravel path raked, too, before supervising the ironing.  Such a good girl.


Wife prefers you to do the chores
It’s a bit unfair.  I mean with that metal thing in place, nothing was going to happen anyway.  Still – best not to argue, I expect.


Belt off, trousers down and a domestic spat solved.
Sometimes its best to just have these things out as soon as you can, rather than let them fester.  They can always discuss it in more depth, when they get home, too.


Laboured to death.
And because she just likes zapping him from time to time.  She’s determined to try out level 20 before…er…before he ‘goes away’ like all the others.
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