Category: caption

Would you lace my shoe?

Anything!



I think she might secretly be seeing another man. That or she’s engaged a cleaning service. Bad news, either way.

But I don’t have speaking privileges with Kate just now.  This doesn’t seem fair…


Maybe you could be more specific, next time you’re feeling horny – in about three weeks’ time or so.

I think teenagers should take on responsibilities – for household chores, for example. My step-daughter’s been supervising the way I clean her room and make her bed for over a year now, and she’s done a really thorough job.  We’re thinking of giving her responsibility for the way I do her laundry and ironing too.


Amen. The original of course is here.


Blonde justice

The truth can hurt, sometimes.

They asked Nurse Jenkins to perform the procedure.  She’s a pain management specialist, you see.  She’s very good at it.

If you do want to discuss it with your father-in-law, you’ll have to wait until he’s finished his corner time.
Well, I hope someone’s consented to this. Otherwise, I find the whole thing a bit unethical.


Mistress Eleise can lead me into temptation any time She likes.






Menial: (adj), relating to men, e.g. ‘menial tasks’


A 2% productivity boost from employing an intern for nothing?  I think the shareholders are going to like those numbers – so open wide and don’t spill a drop.




And then we’ll discuss office attire – she has some ideas for him on that.


Surprisingly, given the efforts they’ve put into his training, poochie does not always do exactly as he’s told.

Almost anything you like.

That’s actually a joke: no woman has ever fallen asleep while having sexual intercourse with me. There just isn’t time.  Or opportunity.


Negative feedback

It’s the only sort I get.


Interestingly, adult babies and other submissive employees are explicitly excluded from the provisions of the staff handbook relating to discrimination, bullying and abuse.









It also means she has two boxes of chocolates to throw away instead of one.
The rest of the room is decorated in the same style.
Many men would pay a lot of money for that sort of experience.  Not all their money, as he will, admittedly. But a lot.
Phew.  I was beginning to think I was going to have to get through this alone.  Talking about how sexually frustrated I feel, with a bunch of other men, is going to help a lot.



The wrongs of man

Power drill play… not for everyone, obviously.  Just for you.

Despite the harsh look of the place, it’s actually more an institution for rehabilitation and education, rather than punishment as such. Of course, it all hurts, but there’s a purpose to it, that’s all I’m saying.

I don’t see why funerals have to be sad. I want my own funeral to be a joyous occasion, and when I told my SO that, She laughed and said it almost certainly would be.
See – and you were complaining about her fucking other men!  All square now, right?
More fun than a trireme: you get to jog along the road in the fresh air.


Drama. Queens.


Squeak!

I once asked my SO for a public humiliation session.  So She made me start a blog in which I had to publish all my sick, dark and bleak fantasies from my miserable life. It’s going quite well.

You could try telling her that your ‘trophy’ is barely worth collecting.

They’re going to be discussing mens’ rights quite extensively, I understand.










Don’t worry – they’re not going to throw them all at your face.  Pretty soon, they’ll move on to other parts of your body.

Slap me on the patio

I’ll take it now.  


There must be lots of things you can do to take your mind off sex.  Do some laundry maybe… or watch TV.  The women’s tennis final is on, I understand.  That should be exciting.  Or beach volleyball.  Anyway, it’s only for a few weeks, right?









My SO can be quite hard to please.  I found it a bit dispiriting at first but then I learned about this technique for lowering the expectations you set yourself?  So now I just aim for ‘Not totally furious with me’ and I hit that at least two days out of three, so that’s pretty good.

Unlike some human women, though, they won’t insist on going again while you’re still completely drained from the last time.


I took a personality test once.  Apparently I don’t have one.

Don’t worry, she’s obviously not going to drain you to an empty husk all in one go. Look at that figure – she probably limits herself to a couple of pints of blood a day.  You might even last a week.






Back in harness

So, here we are.  Back from my fabulous tour of the Greek islands.  Well… I assume we toured the Greek islands. There aren’t actually any windows in the middle galley deck of a trireme, so I am not quite sure, but we definitely went from one place to another, sometimes quite fast.  We had some lovely tour guides, who encouraged us along, while this big bald guy played a drum (somewhat repetitively in my view, but even the most sophisticated musical talent has to begin somewhere I suppose).  These tour guides didn’t speak any English, but they managed to get their message across quite effectively.


I hope you all had a good time while I was gone.  Back to normal, as from today. 




I quite liked this one.  Why should safewords only work in one direction?







If I got the chance, that is.

I hope she realises that we submissives need to stick together.
There are many words that sound like bitch.  Very few that sound like cattle prod. Or feel like one.

 

Indeed we don’t.  Not after the last time.