Category: caption

Simply frightful

More Downton domination.  That’s all. 


Thank goodness for that.













He’s lucky.  They had something back then that the modern world has lost, I think.

Poor thing.  She was very upset when her husband disappeared, you know.  Made all the domestic staff except Havers leave the house for a week.
I won’t say anything to her directly, but I do think she’s not making a very good job of managing the staff.  First she hires a stable-boy who seems to know nothing about horses, then she hires a governess when there’s no children to take care of and I’ve just heard that both scullery maids have been given notice!  So who’s going to scrub the floors?

Nothing worse than cold tea, is there?


Doing what she wants



‘Public humiliation’ is apparently one of the approved reasons for leaving the house in the present situation.  Thank goodness we can preserve the basics of civilisation, in these trying times.











Don’t worry. As soon as she’s stopped being angry with you, she’ll give femdom a go.  Possibly even before she’s stopped beig angry, actually.







Even the oubliette can be quite peaceful on a lovely summer evening… the sound of birdsong, the rustling of leaves in the breeze. Sometimes you can even smell the blooms in the nearby flowerbeds, but usually the stink of piss is too strong.



Maybe it’s yummy. I guess she’ll never know.

I must say, I can’t understand men who frequently visit prostitutes.  I just cannot take any pleasure in mixing sex with a cold, businesslike financial transaction, you know?  Much better to stick to financial domination.


It Came From Outer Space

And this is how the message ran…

She should put him in the stocks. ‘Cos the sonic doesn’t work on wood.

 

I believe there are still traces from which civilisation could be reconstructed, under the guidance of the Galactic Community.
I think you’re about to experience their rigorous clinical testing procedures personally
I would just like to point out that as an arachnophobe, I did not at all enjoy searching Google images for the picture on the right hand side in the background there.  I suffered for my art.  Now it’s your tur – oh, I did that one already, didn’t I?
I don’t really understand how anyone can be an atheist, in a world that contains Arianna Grande.   
 
What’s that you say, blog ‘reader’?  You don’t think this one fits in with the overall science fiction theme of today’s post?  Oh yes, it does.  You see: this is your future.

 

Leading ladies

Oh, it would be just awful lying across that skirt having your backside whacked repeatedly with a heavy wooden hairbrush, don’t you think?  Awful.  No, no, please don’t do that.
Well at least she’s giving you a choice.
Oddly enough, it’s quite common to experience a powerful orgasm at the actual moment of castration.  Usually the surgeon just needs to take a moment to get her breath back and then finish the operation, though.

I see a happy ever after on the horizon.

You know, I write a lot here about being told I was ‘the worst fuck ever’ on dates, but actually it’s only happened to me once.


Kind hearts and martinets

I shot an arrow in the air; she fell to earth in Berkely Square.  Warning: safe for work and unrelated.



I’ll confess to anything because I’m guilty guilty guilty!



As long as there’s wi-fi.
Don’t be so suspicious.
“Isn’t that silly” is a phrase I used to hear a lot on dates, oddly enough. 
It’s good to feel useful, now there’s nothing to do but hang around the house all day. I’m worried we might run out of toilet paper, though.  Goodness knows what we’d do, then.


Callous talk




Oh no.  Don’t tell me I married an escape artist.  Again.
Scurry scurry scurry.
Thank goodness it’s nothing personal.
That looks very motivating, doesn’t it?  I think just one of those rods would motivate me, so a whole bunch wrapped together like that… I feel motivated just looking at them.
I wouldn’t mind, but he’s the priest who married us and that just seems wrong.  Still… very nice shoes.

 

When pain is over, the remembrance of it often becomes a pleasure.

… and then the pain is back again, and so it goes on.


Astute readers (both of you) will have recognised a Jane Austen quotation, of course, and realised that you are in for a treat. Oh yes – regency femdom!  More hot chicks in empire-line dresses!  And long sentences, in elegant serifed fonts instead of that dreadful modern Gill Sans. 

Swoon on.

 

 

Lock me down, lock me up



I don’t have much time to think about sex – too busy running this blog and there’s nothing remotely sexy here.






If I’m an adult man, surely I should be allowed to stay up after 8 o’clock?








I never know if it’s one kiss or two.
Only a bit useful.  But that’s more than he used to be.


Maybe she’s only looking at Tumblr.  No naked women on Tumblr. Vile racism, lies and misinformation, even ‘humorous’ captions about torture and castration, reblogged from here.  But no ladies with their clothes off, than goodness, so society is safe.