Category: caption

There’s a two-legged animal running about

 … but if it’s kneeling down on one knee, I reckon things are probably OK.


It can be more complicated for them to find better quality ‘playmates’, as those are often reported as missing after a while.  Which isn’t a problem – she’s even had some minor celebrities who’ve disappeared into her playroom – but it’s an added complication.


With a bit of luck, maybe Pookie will get bored of having monthly orgasms after a while and stop trying so hard.  Then it’ll be your turn.  Just give it time.


Looks like you have an extra 45 minutes free!  Whatever will you do with it?  Ironing, dusting… the possibilities are almost endless (within the very limited range of things you’re permitted to do, obviously).  Later on, it looks like there’ll be quite a lot of chocolate stains to clean up, so best to get ahead on the regular chores.




She’s enjoying it in a non-sexual way… and if you’re as exhausted and sore as she implies, you’re probably hating it in a non-sexual way too.  So that’s very compatible.



She’s quite tender-hearted, so she’ll be upset when she comes back from her next trip to the forest but I expect Vanya 2 can cheer her up.







A quick succession of busy nothings

More captioned images of ladies occasionally displaying daring glimpses of ankle, or elegantly-shaped necks.  Yes, it’s more hot chicks in empire-line dresses.  Just the sort of porn you come to the Internet looking for, right?  Right?

It’s what you’re getting today, anyway.  Lovelies in lingerie, leather and latex will reappear in future posts, don’t worry.  Well… these ladies are presumably wearing lingerie too.  Some kind of unmentionables, anyway.  You just don’t get to see them.



















Unrelenting love

Don’t worry: what it lacks in teasing, it makes up in denial.


 

My gender doesn’t so much sit on a spectrum as cower timidly beneath one.

 

 

He’s a bit dim too, to be honest.  Well… thick as two short planks, to be quite brutal about it.  But she doesn’t seem to mind that, oddly.

I think she might have had an idea.



Many women just hate it when important discussions are side-tracked by irrelevant opinions.  My SO has very low tolerance for that sort of thing, which is unfortunate as all my opinions are irrelevant.

Oppressive domesticity

…it’s the best sort.


Some wives can be so possessive… probably best to humour her.  Maybe she’ll get it out of her system some day.




Looks like she needs to make a choice.  You’re her husband, that should count for something, surely?



Wouldn’t want it to be too easy.

After a busy day’s housework I once asked my SO what she’d do without me – I mean, I can’t imagine her doing the ironing or the washing up!  “Get another one, just like last time”, apparently.

Well, I’m glad she had a proper massage.  My own masseur seemed to have entirely the wrong idea about what I was after – left me feeling quite stiff and sore, to be honest.

A good hard marriage

… that’s what most men need.


She’s getting mixed signals here.  Fortunately, the ones she’s giving are entirely consistent.




Thank goodness for that.




My own SO avoids this problem by only fucking guys who despise me.  Fortunately, that doesn’t restrict her freedom of action at all.



Honestly, given the choice between fucking her and fucking you, it’s hard to see how anyone could prefer not to play it straight.  But some guys have weird sexual preferences.  I’ve heard.


Actually, I have a funny story about a pair of masturbation gloves and some nettles.  Well… it was funny at the time, anyway.  For her.



Blowing my mind, stealing my heart

 Somebody help me ‘fore I fall apart.


Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal to feel a little nervous.



Remarkably, I understand she got 100% in all her exams without even turning up.  And now works in a profession where she earns more than £500/hour working from home.  It just shows the value of adopting the right educational techniques.




Don’t get her wrong – she’d be perfectly happy to lace or unlace her own boots.  But when there are men queuing up to pay for the privilege, why would she?

“…his eyes widened as she slowly, deliberately trailed her fingers all the way up his long… hard knitting needle, her fingertip lingering for a second at the top.  “It’s a number 7” he blurted out awkwardly, feeling the need to respond in some way to this sudden intimate contact.  “At least” she murmured in reply, nodding gently, thoughtfully.  Then she made a decision and looked straight into his startled eyes.  “I want you to make me something stylish but practical”, she breathed with an urgency that surprised even her.  “I want you to make it now!”.  She glanced into his knitting bag, where the multicoloured balls of wool nestled quietly, expectantly.  A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips, as she…”




The ‘arrogant dismissive domme’ thing comes naturally to some.





Domestic docility

I don’t worry about that.  What I’d like to know is whether I’m in a pre-orgasmic state or not.  As time passes, I worry I might not be.


 

 

In case you’re feeling anxious: she’s perfectly genuine in her disapproval of the methods employed by the Male Control Squad to deal with rebellious males.  She and her friends have much better methods.


 

 

Oh well, there’s always next month as my SO likes to say.

 

 


I have two speeds: dawdling and scurrying.  I’d scurry for her.  Wouldn’t you?

 

Funny thought: if I did have a cuckolding fetish, I might be about to enjoy this even more than he does.  Hee…hmmm.  Anyway, I’ll get that beer.

 

 

As an extra, I’d just like to link once again to the site of the influential Mr Rogue-Hagen, who has been brightening our lives for decades with some very British femdom: Cruella.  For a while now, his site has been giving away  large photoshoot sets, some modern and some from the archives.  No disrespect to the photographer or the ladies but I do prefer the older ones, even if the technical quality is lower.  I doubt it’s a real reduction in  the inherent quality, but you see these were the images I saw in the early 1990s when I first started buying porn.  And it was before the Internet (except as a forum for discussing particle physics on bulletin boards) so there were few images around.  And each one of these seared itself into my brain… I recall being so excited that I literally found it hard to breathe when opening up one of his magazines.

Anyway, it so happens that his latest upload is one of my all-time favourites from that period – ‘Guardess Julia’ (whom I believe to be a lady called Linda Leigh).  So I encourage you all to go and have a look (well-managed boys will want to stop about halfway down the page, when she gets her top off, but there’s plenty of pictures before that which are thoroughly suitable).  I encourage you even more strongly to try some of the things on his site that are not free, so as to give a little back and reward him for his wonderful work over all of these years.  A femdom legend.

 

Everything she wants, any way she likes, right now

She was beside herself with worry, the poor thing. Nothing to worry about now… for her to worry about, I mean.


It
might add to it, if anything.  But it’s nice when it finishes – or when
the weals heal, a week or so later, depending on the severity.

 

 

 

In the event, she realised of course that she didn’t actually want a slave with a bashed in face and a pulped, deformed nose, snuffling around the whole time.  So both of them ended up having to leave.  Funny how some people just don’t think things through, isn’t it?  Still, no real harm done and I guess she learned something.

 

 

 

Oh dear, that wasn’t a very tactful thing to say.  She’s not an unkind person, you understand; it’s just never occurred to her not to despise you.

 

 

 

If Kitten can’t have nice things, why should you have nice things?

 

 

 

For those of you who might have sleepless nights worrying about Kitten not being as happy as she deserves to be, all the time, I am delighted to share the following picture:

 

Isn’t that lovely?  Doesn’t it make the world a better place?  You can think of it every time you pay off the monthly installments of the loan – ten years, wasn’t it?  Lots of time to think of Kitten’s happy smile.  And she decided to keep the black one, too, for when she’s just not in a red car mood.

Now… Kitten has some ideas for other things she’d like to have.  Get a notebook: you can make a list.

 

 

*** UPDATED***

Kitten saw this and would just like you to know that she has always liked yellow best of all the colours.  

 


Come on now, don’t be mean…


 

 

 

Girlish brutality

Speaking of which, I thought I’d just share with a little thing that happened to me yesterday – in real life, I mean, not ‘Servitor’ life.

So I was leaving Starbucks (in Paris) and there was this young woman coming in, so I held the door open for her and vaguely smiled as she went past, as you do.  And you know, she didn’t acknowledge me?  Not even a nod, just strode through, head held high, ignoring me as if I were merely part of the furniture.

I mean, can you believe some people?

I thought about that all day.  Wonderful!  What bliss it is to be alive, and all that.

Anyway, true story.  Now on with the stuff that isn’t.


Subsequently twice married to a billionaire, this one. Not bad, is it? The same billionaire twice, I mean, not two billionaires.  I don’t suppose he got the hockey stick treatment… but you never know, he might have done.




Don’t forget to include a little gift (or, better, a large one) in your thank-you email, so she’ll know you mean it.




Mistress is cleverer than you.  Do try to remember that, OK sweetie?  I know it’s not easy, remembering stuff.


 

 

He still screams of course – in fact, these days he often starts screaming before they even start, as he knows what’s coming.  But it’s lost that element of surprise, that’s all she’s saying. Time for a bit of a change.




The very idea!  He’s got a lot to learn.



Blonde ambition

In trying to come up with that title, I was thinking of ‘Blonde justice’ and had a sneaking suspicion I’d used it before, so I searched and found… oh dear, four posts all called ‘Blonde justice’. Is the blog really so forgettable, even for me?  Maybe been going too long… but I’ve still got another 2772 captioned images unposted and I write more all the time, so I’m afraid we’re just going to have to carry on.

Anyway, blonde post.  Yes, of course Mistress Eleise is in it.  Did you really need to ask?

Obviously, it’s going to be very painful – it often is when a relationship ends – but don’t worry: one day she’ll look back on it and laugh.  Possibly even next Thursday, when you come home with that funny bruised face.

 

 

Why should he mind?  Why should she care if he does?

 

 

 

She’ll freely admit she’s a trophy wife.  First prize in the ‘deluded and regretful old fool’ category.

 

I hate hypothetical questions.  Strap me to the gurney and let me see the scalpels, then it will feel more like a real choice, that’s what I say.  Assuming I’m still allowed to choose.

 

If you keep it up long enough, even an obese 220-pound man can easily lose as much as…well, 220 pounds, eventually.  By weight, I mean. A lot more pounds sterling, obviously but who’s counting?

 

Told you.  She’s magnificent.  What an extraordinary honour and pleasure (and pain) it was for me to session with her a few times, in Paris some years ago.

 

 

In fact… shall we have another Mistress Eleise image?  I say we should and it is my blog, after all.

 

She’s laughing inside.