Category: caption

Ideas above my station

 

Scurry scurry scurry…



In practice a lot of the psychological elements flow fairly naturally from the pain and from the dread of it,


Coding’s a valuable skill in today’s economy but getting the coffee that helps keep the coding girls focused is vital too.  Not as well paid – obviously, as a traditional male occupation – but there’s more to life than money and the satisfaction of a menial job done adequately cannot really be priced.  Plus, a really good coffee boy might have a shot at a tampon boy position, should one become available.  Better than sitting in front of a computer staring at boring old code, amirite?





So brave she bought a weekly pass enabling her to see any show she pleases.  But watching Mark will be special for her, obviously.






This picture in welts was just chance but some dommes take pride in their artistic skill with the whip.  My SO likes to do Mondrians on me, for instance.  I don’t mind the lines, it’s the areas of uniform flat colour that really sting.

A happy Cruella shoot, of course, with all three participants enjoying the balmy British summer.


Perilous prose

You have to slap pretty hard to get the ketchup sachet to burst open.  But then you have to slap pretty hard anyway – she insists on it – so don’t worry about that. Worry about other things.


And she’ll make sure you’re penciled in for one of the first slots available in her schedule after her holiday, OK?



 

I once told a domme I couldn’t really cope with public humiliation and she just looked at me strangely and asked how I managed in day to day life, never leaving the house.  I think she must have misunderstood me.


 

 

Don’t worry, her travel insurance will make sure she gets all the money she needs after your tragic and unexplained disappearance.

 

 

 

My SO once had an affair with a lesbian sub and I was over the moon, because I thought finally there’d be another submissive to share the chores.  But apparently lesbian D/S “doesn’t work like that”.  And the attitude to chastity play was a bit different too… a lot different, if I’m honest.

 

Ladylike behaviour

A caption from the days before teleworking, of course.  These days busy executives can do a full working day and tawse their husbands as often as needed, all without even leaving the house.



Obviously, men are allowed in the toilets to clean them – but that’s a privilege reserved for the best-behaved and longest-serving residents.




If they put that finding together with the body profile they deduced from the outsized maid outfit also found in your house, they just might get a clear picture of what happened.  Science is great, isn’t it?  Just ask Serena and Alice.

Some people who are generally quite dim can turn out to be brilliant at maths.  Just like some of us with quite high IQs can often be fucking useless stupid morons – or as often as I can afford to pay people to tell me I am, anyway.




He must have very good genes.  Shame there’s no question of them being passed on to the next generation.






When her pet-name for you is ‘maggot’

 … then you know you’re onto a good thing.

 

Make sure you get the right one, this time.

 

 

She’ll have plenty of sex and plenty of money – she prefers to get them from different people, that’s all.  That’s not going to be a problem, is it?

 

 

Sexual pleasure is over-rated anyway, so I have been led to understand.

Princess Neive and Miss Analisa, there, and also here.  But neither working in person any more, I believe, alas.



Oh well.  You can enjoy watching her eat too, I suppose, just like you watch her do the other thing.



I asked a sex worker for a nurse roleplay session and when I got there she threatened to go on strike, harangued me about the state of NHS funding and then fell asleep, exhausted after a 14-hour shift. Exactly as I’d asked for in my pre-session email… what a pro.



True love’s first slap

Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day, a day when humiliation freaks worldwide will rush down to the letterbox in the morning, to revel deliciously in the proof that once again, not a single one of the three billion females in the world has the slightest romantic interest in any of us.

Actually, I did once receive a Valentine card, from this girl I really fancied at school and didn’t have the courage to tell of my feelings for her, but it turned out it she had sent it to the wrong address and it was intended for someone else.  Goodness, how everyone laughed and laughed when that little mix-up was revealed in class, after I got down on my knees to confess my long-standing love for her.  I hope she wasn’t too humiliated by her error being exposed so publicly, poor thing.

I do have a couple of Valentine-themed captions, as it happens, but not a
full set of five, so I thought I’d… what’s that, readers?  You say you don’t
give a flying fuck whether I creatively theme the blog or not?  That you
just want to masturbate to images of pretty ladies saying humiliating
or vaguely menacing things, so why don’t I shut the fuck up and get on
with it?

Oh.  OK then.

 

You could cavil at the poor quality of the photo, but this is Mistress Ardenne so even a blurry photo is more beautiful than 99.999999999999% of things on the planet.  Long retired, I’m sure, so don’t even ask, OK?

 

 

Wow. No time for second thoughts – let’s tie the knot!
 
 

My SO says the same: apparently it’s ‘easier’ to leave me locked up.  Personally, I’ve never had any real difficulties masturbating (except when my penis is locked in a tube, or I’m in tight bondage or agonising pain, that is) so I don’t really see why that should be but I don’t doubt she’s right.  For one thing ‘doubting she’s right’ is #255 on the list of forbidden activities, just 243 places below masturbation itself.




Selecting honesty level two would have got you “Oh… it’s all right, I suppose. A bit below average but I’ve seen worse.”




Funny how it still feels just like that very first date you went on together.  Some relationships are like that, but it’s very rare.




Persuasive speech

Ooh!  A potential ally. That’s rare: so few women take men’s lib seriously.



You can’t put a price on job satisfaction.



 

Don’t worry, I’m sure she can’t trace your IP address.  Just keep reading Contemplating the Divine… everything’ll be fine.

 

 

He doesn’t need to renew his vows to her, of course.  I mean, she’s not going to release him from them, or anything.


 

 

Oh well.  No real harm done.  You do look a bit like No. 23, actually – I don’t know whether anyone else has ever mentioned that?  But then we all look near-identical… hence the numbers, I suppose.

Words can never hurt you

 …but these ladies can.

You might think it a little unfair that only one of the submissives in this relationship does all the housework – but remember, she needs to rest during the day after a busy night looking after Mistress’s sexual needs.

 



Let’s just say I’ve had time to get my hand in.


They should be more careful with their property.

Unlike regular sex work, paid femdom doesn’t have to involve hanging around on cold rainy street corners, wearing nothing but a latex miniskirt, tiny top and uncomfortable high heels – but if that’s what my dominatrix says is going to happen, I usually don’t argue.



Don’t be alarmed; her mother may be a bit bossy but at least she likes you.  She described you as ‘very suitable’ when you were first introduced to her, remember?


Delightfully despotic

Better do as she says.  But with dignity, right?  Always with dignity.

 

 

 

For those of you objecting that getting an erection is a natural reaction to the situation, merely an expression of sexual desire, should realise that exactly the same argument applies to her giving you powerful electric shocks.

She needn’t hurry.  This isn’t going to be over any time soon.  Not ever, actually.

 

 

She’s not saying it’s a hard limit, mind.

 

 

 

Maybe since she broke her side of the bargain, you should ask for all the presents back? It’s only fair.  Admittedly, fairness has never really been big in this relationship.

 

Hit me (hit me!) hit me (hit me!) hit me with those laser beams!

Frankie Goes to Hollywood of course.  Another memory of brief and never repeated wild sexual excitement as a teenager.  There was a music show called The Tube and this unknown band appeared on it, performing Relax… including two lovely ladies in leather dancing about with whips.* Yes, actual whips… my teenage brain exploded.** The lovely ladies did not appear to do any actual singing, which probably explains why, a few months later, when Relax became a massive hit, they’d disappeared from the band*** which had also thoroughly embraced its gay vibe. So, video at number one, leather imagery everywhere and not a female to be seen. 

Anyway!

Anyway, this isn’t a post about Frankie Goes etc.  It’s just an excuse to put the word ‘laser’ in the title, because it’s a science fiction post.  And if the first one today doesn’t get me a mention on 11dutch’s blog I really don’t know what ever will.


I understand there’s a latex fetish scene with a Zygon, too.



…or even an even older man from 2023.  I don’t put captioned images up as soon as I write them, you see.  Except the Billie Piper one above, because as soon as I’d made it and stopped chortling happily to myself I just had to post it.


I understand the preferred terms are ‘Trekker’ and ‘perverted little freak’.  Anyway, it’s what you do that actually matters, not what anyone calls you.


She’s bound to get found out eventually.  No robot could ever be as cruel and controlling as a real human bride, after all.




Lexx is thoroughly recommended for all perverts reading this blog.  The lady above is (in my utterly humble opinion) only the second most stunningly attractive incarnation of the character she is portraying… just think on that.



* Here’s a scene from the trailer!

** Here’s the whole thing, starting about 0.55.  

***  Ooh – here’s a whole article about them and what happened.  Called ‘the leather pets’ they were.

And a photo!  Bloody hell, it’s good this Internet thing isn’t it? So much stuff out there.

Compulsive behaviour

She has a different – but very effective – approach to ensuring that the tasks you undertake are carried out properly.

 This is of course Cassie Hunter, the Hunteress or (for simplicity): ‘Ma’am’.

 

I think she shouldn’t be so diplomatic – sometimes it’s best to get honest, direct feedback.

 

 

She doesn’t usually accept ‘submissive little weirdo’ clients, but sometimes it’s a pleasant change not to have to pretend to like them.

 

 

 

Of course, even with a genetic explanation it’s still your fault. 

 

Percy looks like he might need to soak for ten minutes or so in the icy water of the pond in the garden, before he’ll be small enough to fit into his winter quarters.


 And this is Lady Annabelle whom I suspect is retired, but if not, she is certainly one of the smiliest dommes around, with a very fine line in teasing and mocking.  If anyone can find a link to a site that’s her own, please feel free to share it.