capital punishment – Page 2 – Contemplating the divine

Unmancipation

When I first started dating my SO, I’d often finish before She had a chance to come, but now things are more under control She typically has oh… two, three…maybe even four hundred orgasms before that happens.

It’s always embarassing when men have to go to what’s basically a girls’ night out, isn’t it? You kind of stand around awkwardly, watching the wives roaring with laughter while you make polite converation about ironing tips and suchlike. Women are just better at social events… it’s because they’ve got more empathy.

Life will be a lot simpler. You can do as she says or starve.

Big decision. Don’t pressure her, OK?

I’m down on my hands and knees. Point me to the broken glass.

Confidently supreme

She doesn’t like ‘torturess’ either. It’s sexist. Like a woman can’t torture people just as well as a man, you know? Better, even. So don’t call her that. Call her… oh I don’t know. Something respectful, I’d suggest. Very respectful.

‘You’re a taxi!’ It’s an old joke, but I like to make my date laugh. Often, the evening together ends with her leaving my apartment almost hysterical with laughter. In fact, I bumped into an old flame the other day and she started giggling as soon as she saw me.

No problem. That’s what Kenny is here for. He pays handsomely for the privilege, after all.

I wouldn’t mind, but I read that book before, counting ‘the’ for another Mistress.

This is the wonderful Lady Sophia Black, who is if anything even more wonderful in person than Her online persona (which is very, very wonderful indeed).

Hmmm. She seems to have mostly disapppeared from the Internet. Now that is a loss.

Choking on someone else’s vomit? Unpleasant but, well, you know, Her kink is not your kink. Or anyone’s.

Mistress Cassie Hunter, the Hunteress, who seems not to have retired after all. So that’s a bit better.

Femalevolence

Oh, just go with it. You enjoy sexy abbatoir play, she enjoys bacon sandwiches. You’re very compatible.

Don’t worry. She respects the hard limits imposed by the Geneva Convention. No hollow-nosed bullets, just a good clean round through the forehead if you get the password wrong.

Poor thing. She obviously misses him terribly.

Yes, I could use a muscle relaxant. I’m feeling strangely tense about this – which is silly, because there’s really nothing that can go wrong with a tonsils operation.

Love that biker chic. He’s a switch – prefers to top, but confident enough to play the strong and silent sub on the bottom, you know? Goes by the name of Master Marcus when he’s domming. He’s also bisexual, or he soon will be, anyway.

Little man you’ve had a busy day

… so it’s time for a spanking, then all tucked up for an early night with hands secured in your special mittens. Don’t worry about wifey – she’ll find something to amuse herself with.

You’ll probably also find that you prefer not to watch sport on TV and you love going to bed early. In fact, you’re going to discover a lot of things about the real you. Isn’t that nice?

I used to worry that women would discover I’m really rubbish in bed. But so far, as luck would have it, the situation just hasn’t arisen, so that’s OK.

There are probably a few things bothering him just at the moment. And there’ll be a few more, quite soon afterwards, I expect.

It’s nice they can sing while they’re working. I mean, having to end another human’s life, it’s a serious and depressing business, isn’t it? Good for them – keeping their spirits up like that.

Ah.. now that takes me back. I remember the very first face-slap of my married life. It was about – oooh, seven seconds after the last face-slap of my unmarried life, as I recall.

Suffering fools

Gladly or otherwise.

I never want to be more than two paces behind… for the rest of my life.

I hate having to disturb her when she’s working. But I can’t just take money from her purse without permission, so…

Tony gets steak and chips… not fair, I say. But then he does have a night of vigorous sexual activity ahead of him, so I suppose he needs the calories.

Sometimes they get a babysitter, but if they’re not going out until 7.30 or so, it’s easier just to put Paul to bed half an hour early. I mean it’s not like anything can go wrong, with his mittens fastened to the sides of the cucky-drawer.

Aparently, a lot of condemned prisoners have women writing to them offering sex. I don’t think that’s going to happen to him, though.

Her aim is true

Girls with guns! Babes with bazookas! Ladies with lethal weaponry! Women with weapons! Femmes with firearms! Honeys with hunting rifles! Goddesses with…erm… guided missiles?

That’s today’s theme, anyway. We don’t always have a theme. But today we have naming of parts. Makes a change from daily cleaning.

When I look at her, I can barely think at all.

This is her rifle. There are many like it, but this one is hers.

Or in a pie.

Hmmm. If only men could think faster. I’m sure I could come up with a plan.

It’s always irritating just hearing half of a phone conversation, isn’t it?

Respectful silence

…

Get ready… they’re rough.

It adds a bit of tension to an otherwise dull game.

Very wise.

Oooh.

Of course, there’s always a risk in catching up with old schoolfriends, that they’ll make you feel bad by being, like, waaay more successful. But really, when your future’s the butcher’s hook, there’s no point in drawing fine distinctions, I say.