cane – Page 9 – Contemplating the divine

She’s often inclined to borrow somebody’s dreams till tomorrow

Obviously, I don’t approve for one moment of non-consensual BDSM play. I’ve made that very clear to my SO, and She in turn has explained that she doesn’t give a fuck what I think. So we have an understanding.

It’s not going to be like having actual sex, of course. There won’t be all that “What the fuck? Already? Is that it?” business at the end, for one thing.

I’m very suggestive.

What’s the vibrator got that I haven’t, I’d like to know?

He’s probably feeling very relaxed already, knowing he’s in such safe hands.

Women beat their men

Animals watch beyond the fire.

Don’t worry, they’re quite uncomfortable for her too, so this part of the session shouldn’t last more than 45 minutes or so.

I’d scream for Keira, nightly if she wanted me to.

Well, I hope it’s still summer, if we’re going to play outside again.

They have lots of good ideas for taking all the hard work out of BDSM too – or at least, making someone else do it.

Must be nice not to have to worry about limits and all that nonsense.

You know how bad girls get

Ah.. school days – cold showers, long tedious detentions, horrible over-cooked cabbage for lunch, exams and homework… not to mention the corporal punishment and the humiliating bullying. It seems so long ago now… must be months at least. I really must book another session.


No I never said that! So unfair, you horrible old cow. Oops.

But not so brave as to refuse. There’s brave and there’s sheer suicidal lunacy.

Spelling ‘wear’ wrong shouldn’t go unnoticed and uncorrected, either.

Mistress Teresa May, obviously. Of all the things that could complicate a career in professional domination, “Having the same name as the Prime Minister” (or vhery nhearly the same) was probably not one that she anticipated.

I think she’s probably right there. You might have to conduct a careful examination of her feet before you’re sure, though.

He probably doesn’t know what the capital of Gabon is. Trouble is, nor does she. I wonder how they’ll resolve the impasse?

Confidently supreme

She doesn’t like ‘torturess’ either. It’s sexist. Like a woman can’t torture people just as well as a man, you know? Better, even. So don’t call her that. Call her… oh I don’t know. Something respectful, I’d suggest. Very respectful.

‘You’re a taxi!’ It’s an old joke, but I like to make my date laugh. Often, the evening together ends with her leaving my apartment almost hysterical with laughter. In fact, I bumped into an old flame the other day and she started giggling as soon as she saw me.

No problem. That’s what Kenny is here for. He pays handsomely for the privilege, after all.

I wouldn’t mind, but I read that book before, counting ‘the’ for another Mistress.

This is the wonderful Lady Sophia Black, who is if anything even more wonderful in person than Her online persona (which is very, very wonderful indeed).

Hmmm. She seems to have mostly disapppeared from the Internet. Now that is a loss.

Choking on someone else’s vomit? Unpleasant but, well, you know, Her kink is not your kink. Or anyone’s.

Mistress Cassie Hunter, the Hunteress, who seems not to have retired after all. So that’s a bit better.

So pretty, oh so pretty

Not the version by those dreadful yobs, of course, but by Mistress Joan.

Oh well, I suppose it’s something to take my mind off it.

She’s Prisoner Welfare Officer too, so you know she’s got your best interests at heart.

A lot of new findommes have the wrong idea about financial domination. It’s actually quite hard work. But not for the domme, obviously.

This being a fantasy blog, I expect she’s going to ‘punish’ you by doing all the things you’ve always dreamed about, rather than just divorcing you and exposing you to ridicule in the newspapers.

They’re very zealous about it. Indeed, I believe that some of his team are about to raid an establishment where they’ve received a tip-off about repeated violations of the ban on smoking in the workplace. They don’t give any warning – just burst straight in through the door, cameras at the ready.

Gender imbalance

I won’t give away the ending. Oh all right then, I will. The book falls off and he gets the crap beaten out of him with a perspex cane. OK?

Now I understand why they make the interns wear shorts.

erm… Translation? Rotation? Summation?

I’ve heard that if you insult the waiting staff in some restaurants, they’ll spit into your food. But I just can’t bring myself to be other than grovellingly respectful to a waitress. What’s a sub to do?

One day she’ll meet Mr Perfect and won’t feel the need to enslave and degrade him. One day.

Simply divine, darling

It’s always such a relief when finally the boxes are all unpacked, there’s a chain the right length in each room, all the pillories and cages have been assembled and you can get back to ordinary married life, for goodness sake.

She’s always taken roleplay very seriously. They tried medical fetish play once and it didn’t turn out well.

Making a decision of my own free will, to do exactly whatever she has told me, immediately, is the secret to a happy life I find.

Oh, you’ve already promised to honour and obey him, so adding love to the mix doesn’t change much.

The truth will not set you free.

Six of the best

A good caning never hurt anyone, right?

Oh, hang on…

I think I’m pretty strongly oriented towards serving Mistress Eleise already.

What to do… what to do.

Ermm… oh, you know. Nothing really. Just one of those things. Forget I said anything. Please?

You should stand up for your rights. When you’ve finished bending over for the cane, obviously.

I hope she doesn’t mind frantic tugging at the bonds, and pitiful pleading, mixed in with the screaming.

She’ll probably be able to empathise more with your pain, now. Probably

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way

You might want to pay particular attention to the inflight safeword briefing.

Damn. Maybe we could play backgammon instead?

If it’s any consolation, Jerry’s no happier about it than you are, In fact, he’s bloody furious. Try to make him happy, OK?

Hmm. That’s diamonds eleven times in a row, now. That means hearts must come up next time, right?

I don’t want you to get the impression that reading this blog in any way singles you out as a loser, OK? As long as no one ever, ever finds out, then there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Obviously, if they do, then there is but that just means you have to take care, right?

Unsafe words

…and some bloody dangerous pictures too.

Ah, you always need to watch out for the feminine, unthreatening ones. And even more for the feminine, extremely threatening ones, obviously.

Oh well. Something to do while waiting to drive her home, I suppose.

I imagine most readers of this blog will mainly be familiar with this actress from Walk All Over Me, but I understand she was also in a science fiction series on TV.

She wishes she didn’t have to do this, you know. She hates pain. Oh no, hang on – that’s him. Never mind. She’s fine with it.

Actually, I come closest to achieving self respect in precisely those circumstances. But it’s never that close, admittedly.

…and a bonus topical one: