| Looks like he’s losing. They always do, oddly enough. |
| The local hospital is getting a bit fed up, to be honest. I mean, there’s pandemic on: they can’t keep dealing with minor fractures and burns, the whole time. |
| Looks like he’s losing. They always do, oddly enough. |
| The local hospital is getting a bit fed up, to be honest. I mean, there’s pandemic on: they can’t keep dealing with minor fractures and burns, the whole time. |
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| Damn. Maybe she gets more practice than you do… but then life doesn’t always have to be fair. |
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| Bad in a good way, I hope. And good in a bad one. |
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| I think it’s great when wives respect their husbands enough to want to talk things through and hear their opinions, before taking important decisions. |
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| They say being able to make women laugh is a great gift. |
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| That’s another admirable characteristic in a partner: not being afraid to tackle the really painful stuff in the relationship. |
Yes, to celebrate the most depressing public holiday the UK has – the end of what is often with atypical British overstatement referred to as ‘the summer’ – here are more reminiscences from a better-run although oddly misnamed ‘kingdom’.
More OWK ladies reminiscing about the good old days, in other words.
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| I’d offer to get rid of it myself but someone seems accidentally to have secured my wrists to the sides of the bed, here. I’ll have to have a word about that. |
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| She’ll get the hang of it. |
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| One of the riskier fetishes is ‘very pissed-off dominatrix’. |
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| I’ll just have another nonesome, then. Maybe two. |
Thank goodness.
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| Julia? Oh… she can be a bit difficult, but, y’know: I can’t complain. |
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| That’s all right – plenty of time to learn. |
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| She didn’t actually write all of the lyrics herself of course, but she suggested the basic themes. |
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| Don’t feel bad about the waste of electricity, though: no electricity used by a woman to shock a man is ever truly wasted. |
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| And if you don’t like the red colour, the marks come in purple and black too as long as you go long enough. |
The goddess on the left is the lovely Miss Zoe. The one on the right is not.
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| She was a spectacularly naughty schoolgirl, I’ve heard. |
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| Well, my arm’s not tired either, so why shouldn’t I? Honestly, women say the strangest – ah, no, let me go, please Ma’am, don’t! |
They do say honesty is the basis of every successful romantic relationship – but brutality has its place too.
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| Don’t worry – she has lots of equipment and techniques to help manage the pain. |
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| They do say small ones have more pain receptors per square millimetre, which is actually quite a turn-on for a lot of ladies. |
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| He’s the foundation of the building just behind her, by coincidence. |
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| Time for the evil – sorry, what? I can’t say that word! |
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| OK, well if the other two are totally straight I guess they won’t need licking clean, for a change, so that’s a bonus. |
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| Don’t worry – the course of justice is not being perverted. His Lordship was probably going to cut the trial short anyway, as he has so much homework to do. |
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| You might as well consent: it’s going to happen anyway, so why not make it all nice and legal? Well… it probably won’t be ‘nice’ as such, but you know what I mean. |
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| Acting the part here, entirely out of character, is the wonderful Miss Amy Hunter, who once spent a couple of hours giving Servitor a very hard time with a tawse, then made it all all right again with a lovely hug. |
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| Can’t be too careful. The nice thing about having spares, is that she doesn’t have to go easy. |
Mistress Lennox, of course… and that beardy bloke called Dave.
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| ‘Ideas’ in the same sense that Pinterest sends me emails suggesting I check out ‘ideas’ about boots, corsets or traditional girls’ school uniforms. And chickens, oddly enough. |
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| Those vanilla passengers can be rather tiresome. Fortunately one encounters fewer of them, these days. |
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| I have a limited skill set, unfortunately. And I’m rubbish at it. |
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| Don’t worry – lots of bridegrooms feel a bit nervous on the big day. None of the guests are likely to realise how well-founded your fears actually are. |
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| It’s an arguable case, legally, or at least it would be were anyone in a position to argue about it. Which they won’t be, obviously. |
But we try anyway. The rather contrived title is – of course – a signal that today’s theme is further recollections by OWK ladies of that fine institution’s glory days.
Over to you, ladies!