One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

To celebrate Bastille Day, let’s have some more Regency femdom. The tumbrels and republican principles of the Revolution itself do not lend themselves well to the theme (although I always felt a vague kinship with the sans-culottes) but on the other side of the Channel, the natural order was maintained.
 
Of course, these are merely modern ‘takes’ on the period. Fashions in femdom at the time were rather different and would seem strange to us today.  Humiliation play, for example, might involve acting out being introduced at a ball to a duchess and incorrectly addressing her as if she were a mere viscountess, or using the wrong fork for the fish and being gently and gigglingly admonished (or – worse – subjected to a sustained pretence by one’s dinner companions not to have noticed!  Oh, the shame).  A ‘forced bi’ scenario would typically end with some roleplaying the inevitable appearance before local magistrates, followed by branding or even transportation to Australia* for committing unnatural acts.  And of course the gimp suits of the time were made of wool or coarse cloth -unthinkable today but they knew no better.
 
What’s that?  You want me to shut the fuck up and just show you the pictures of hot chicks in empire-line dresses? Oh, OK then.  Sorry.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
* Generally regarded as a hard limit by most scene players today – and indeed very few dommes are even prepared to try it, although I understand Mistress Servalan of Sydney has ocasionally put on demonstrations at BDSM conventions.

Callous talk




Oh no.  Don’t tell me I married an escape artist.  Again.
Scurry scurry scurry.
Thank goodness it’s nothing personal.
That looks very motivating, doesn’t it?  I think just one of those rods would motivate me, so a whole bunch wrapped together like that… I feel motivated just looking at them.
I wouldn’t mind, but he’s the priest who married us and that just seems wrong.  Still… very nice shoes.

 

I’ve suffered for my art

Now it’s your turn.


I suppose a little light felching’s not going to harm my heterosexual credentials.


Brave?  I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘fear’.  Janice does, though.


Safewords only work if you’re actually safe.

Goths, eh? Better humour her, she’s obviously very upset.








Or unless they commit serious crimes, such as making sexist jokes or publishing disrespectful captioned images of famous actresses, obviously.

Dark-hearted commentary

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  And so do hunger, cold, discomfort and terror.


It’s actually the sign of a really considerate, thoughful guy not to protest when his date decides to fuck someone else whose more attractive.  Sweet guys like that are the ones that the really hot girls all want to settle down with, eventually. I’m told.
They taste much the same.  Don’t wriggle quite as much while you’re waiting for permission to chew, that’s the only real difference, I find.

He has ambitions to be a Junior Housemaid’s assistant, but I suspect that’s beyond his reach.  Still, one can dream.

If it’s sunny, he’d better wear a hat. Fortunately he has lots of hats: it’s almost the only kind of present he ever gets.*  Everyone seems to think it’s such an original gift idea… it would be heartless to tell them – and despite everything, he’s not a bitter man.

* Thank you Iain M Banks, Use of Weapons.

Brutal loving care

Silly, really, to get rid of stock that’s hardly even damaged, but that’s their policy.

Often, when smokers give up, they undertake some symbolic act of renunciation: crushing the cigarette pack beneath their shoes, for example, or just throwing it onto a fire.  Something like that might be worth trying too, to make clear all that nonsense is in your past, now.

Not sure about the colour swatches, though. I think the traditional dark grey is still best.
I expect they just didn’t get the original joke.  Try explaining it more slowly.


And they say porn doesn’t really cause any harm…


The radical alternative

I don’t know why this always happens but no sooner had I put up the latest post detailing the loving matriarchal embrace of President Hathaway’s administration, than another pile of posters that seem to indicate a very different political future awaiting us appeared in my imaginary time machine.  

Is it a warning?  A promise?  







Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do

Mistress Apple, there, of course and she’s right, they will.





Off to your mystery honeymoon destination.  Exciting!
My SO enjoys watching me write my name.  There’s a whole bunch of forms waiting for me, as soon as I’ve finished this post.  They’re all in Arabic, so I’ve no idea what they say but apparently they’re very important.
Peggy pegs.
People can be so cruel. Especially men.  Bastards.
He can explore his submisive side.  Or not. It really won’t make much of a difference either way.


Be cruel to thy neighbour

It does, actually.  But it was never very good at it, anyway, so no loss really.
Scurry scurry scurry.

She can track your progress with the little chip thing they insert under your skin. If she can be bothered.

Damn… she’s right.  Eight years I’ve been writing this blog and… oh well.
Thank goodness everyone’s safe.  Everyone who matters, anyway.








When you’re dancing slowly, sucking your sleeve

The boys get lonely after you leave.  I’ve featured this before, of course. 

I have to admit she’s right there.
Breaking up is always painful – this no more so than most.

 

Silly old Kurt – fucks my wife, takes my money… I think he’s just covering up feelings of insecurity.
No regrets, though. She doesn’t allow them.

Awww…., isn’t she sweet?  How could anyone say no to that?



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