bride – Page 13 – Contemplating the divine

Boys will be toys

Yet more captioned images of female domination. What else were you expecting? Dancing kittens?

But don’t ask her to buy you any long trousers. You know she won’t.

She’s going to be applying some science.

It’s all right. She’ll take it nice and slowly.

This is the divine Mistress Vixen.

You’ve only yourself to blame. You gave her the job – remember? I can’t imagine why. She’s rubbish at cleaning.

It’s not as if Raoul would be taking your matrimonial rights. She’s not going to fuck you, whetever happens, she’s made that quite clear. So you’re not losing anything. Be reasonable, hmm?

All I want is a boy somewhere
Far away from the city square
Tied down across a chair –
Aow, wouldn’t it be loverly?

Lots of choc’lates for me to eat,
Whip in hand for his own hot treat.
Thrashed arse, he’ll beg at feet
Aow, wouldn’t it be loverly?

Aow, so loverly…

Standin’ abso-bloomin’-lutely still.
Scared to move, so the pail don’t spill;
His pleading, high and shrill,
Aow, wouldn’t it be loverly?

Someone restin’ across my knee,
Warm an’ tender as ‘e can be.
Who’s scared to death of me,
Aow, wouldn’t it be loverly?

Loverly!

Loverly.

Loverly!

Loverly….

Those eyes. I could just drown in those eyes, couldn’t you?

Huh. Brad! It’s been ‘Brad this’ and ‘Brad that’ ever since he arrived. Frankly, I am seriously considering giving him notice. It’s not as if we need a pool boy anyway, not having a pool.

It’s funny to think, really, that you’re just about the only man she encounters most days who isn’t begging at her feet for mercy! You probably help her keep a sense of perspective – and that’s very important, for someone with a job they really love.

If you like Cruella, you’ll probably love The British Institution. I do. Both.

Damn… I was really looking forward to November.

Actually, most chastity belts are massively over-engineered. What might feel like irresistible pressure really hardly puts it under strain at all. I mean, steel’s pretty tough. So don’t worry, OK?

Little things that make her laugh

Scenes from Servitor’s so-called life (Part 1 of rather too many).

I have to say, it was very disappointing, on my first date with Alice, that she not only laughed at my manhood, she pulled out a ruler and insisted on measuring it, right then and there. I just think that was a bit unnecessary, you know, especially on a first date like that. And quite apart from the humiliation it caused me, I think it was pretty unfair to spoil the evening for all those other diners. I still haven’t been back to that restaurant.

Ah well. On with more of this:

Ahhh. Isn’t that sweet?

Well, she doesn’t always bother to tell him about it, not the detailed causes anyway. She’s just looking to share the pain, not for any suggestions he could come up with. It’s a Mars/Venus thing, you know?

Let’s hope she doesn’t go home with someone this time, as the nights can get pretty uncomfortable. As long as no one at the club tries to pick her up, you should be all right, though.,

My mother always used to say that, when I was growing up. And when I discovered girls, in my teens, I understood what she meant.

Well, that’s very kind of her, isn’t it? Very understanding. Not like Alice. Remember Alice? It’s a blog post about Alice…

A snivelling little rat-faced git

That’s me! This phrase is what Google suggests when you start with ‘Snivelling little’. I was expecting ‘worm’, but then maybe the kinds of videos we watch (you and me, you know) are a bit of a minority taste…

There are also the Snivelling Shits, a punk band from the ’70s and their single ‘I can’t come’. I won’t include the usual YouTube link, because the song is terrible.

Heh – there’s some weird stuff on the Internet, isn’t there? Right then, on we go with the usual fare of mildly pornographic pictures of ladies looking stern, on which I’ve put down some of my sex fantasies. Enjoy.

OWK cricket completely lost on many readers

And nor do most of you, because according to the stats, you’re mostly Americans. It’s a bit like saying “home run”…or whatever it is you say. You know – when there’s a home run.

Actually, these days you can just book over the Internet. Much easier.

The future belongs to Tracy…and so, in time, will Roger.

Oh…wouldn’t that be just awful?

I wish I’d been there when my wife lost her virginity. It was on our wedding night, but she’d sent me out for more champagne.

I wish she’d make her mind up

You know, for years now my Significant Other has been telling me (and all of her friends, and my co-workers, and people who work in the shops locally and so on) that my cock’s too small.

But do you know what? Just the other day, she told me she’s decided it’s too big, and she’s arranged for something to be done about it!

Well, I had to laugh. Women, eh?

Femdom air stewardess gloves and an attitude

Nothing to worry about – the flight’s delayed by three hours, so there’s plenty of time.

Married life… it’s going to take some getting used to. Might as well start now.

Looks like she’s decided to work to save the marriage. That’s a relief.

Hmm. Another lady who seems to have made a big decision. Looks like important relationship milestones are a theme of today’s blog.

Worcester is pronounced “wooster”, in case you were wondering. And this is the most beautiful woman alive. Anything else I can help you with?

Try to see it Her way

Quite a moment here, in your marriage. Because it’s the last time you’ll hear “fetch the canvas bag” without experiencing that stab of fear.

Nothing wrong with a healthy day’s sport. Really, they’re just helping Nature to keep the numbers down.

Another femdom castration caption? Dear me

Hmmm… she’s rather pretty isn’t she? It’ll be fun fantasising about her when you’re lying in bed after your operation. As long as your throat doesn’t ache so much you’re not feeling in the mood, anyway. Something to look forward to!

Lesbian twosome is the closest youll get

God, it can be agonising waiting for a woman to come sometimes, can’t it? Especially when you’ve started drawing blood. Oh well – better get on with it.

Really, you can scream and beg as much as you like. She doesn’t mind at all.

They who must be obeyed

The title based of course on the splendid in concept (but disappointing in realisation – just ask a frustated 13 year old desperately looking for femdom material in the early 1980s) nineteenth century novel She, by H Rider Haggard. There’s actually a sequel too, called Ayesha (although I always thought it ought to have been called She’s Back), which puts me in mind of a remarkable lady with a more serious and worthy blog than this one. She has introduced me and others to the concept of “saudade“, which makes me think that I am perhaps spiritually Galician-Portuguese.

Anyway, this isn’t getting those captioned images of female domination onto your screens and into your brains, so we’d better get on with it.

Or don’t keep calm. That bit’s up to you.

I think she’ll come to appreciate the gift in time. Young love is all very well, but experienced wives know the value of a good leather whip.

If you’re considering asking for a refund, do bear in mind that she is still holding the whip.

I don’t know why some men pay for public humiliation. It’s easy enough to get it for free, I find.

Littls snuff scene here but tastefully done

She genuinely doesn’t want to drown him. There was such a fuss about the last one, after all.

Premature ejaculation

That’s what you call it when you come before she’s given you permission. It can be quite painful.

On with the show:

Days with a “y” in them, for example.

Now two men aren’t having sex with her.

But in the event she decided the next morning not to marry him. Wanted a man who still had his testicles, apparently. Women! Eh? You just can’t please them.

Femdom image caption caption caption and so on

It’s very kind of Sarah to do this while she’s away. After all, she really doesn’t like men – quite the man-hating lesbian, really.

Consent. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: it’s the most important word in BDSM.

Gyneolatry

An interesting word I found recently, that means pretty much what you’d expect it to mean really. And it’s very, very much what this blog is all about.