Category: blondes

Feet first


It’s got to turn out my way one of these times…

Hmm… looks like she’s finished all of that bottle of water.
If it were being totally candid, it might suggest that it would occasionally appreciate being whipped just a little less hard, but fortunately it has the sense to keep its moronic opinions to itself.
I don’t see how the marriage can be regarded as consummated unless she has had sex too.  Hmm…  do you suppose that bell-boy is still around?  He seemed nice.
I think he’ll be cleaning her tank again.


Born to be Wilde

Today’s theme is gardens and gardening for reasons that should be obvious.

I’ve always fantasised about my Mistress lending me out to a vanilla friend, but it’s actually less exciting than you might think.  One of her old school friends offered to try it, but almost as soon as I arrived and got changed into my perky little maid’s outfit, somehow I knew it wasn’t going to work.  I did the housework for a bit but I think we both felt uncomfortable and so after a couple of hours he phoned for Mistress to come and pick me up again.


Scurry scurry scurry.
There are more dandelions.  Many more.

He’s at peace, now.

If she does roquet you – that is, hits one of your balls with hers – then she gets to ‘croquet’ – and there are two ways of doing it.  The American rule is that she puts her foot down, firmly holding the ball immobile, before tapping it with her mallet.  But in Britain, she just places her ball next to yours and thwacks as hard as she can. It’s all in the angles, you see.  Anyway, both methods are a lot of fun.





Captivating ladies




Actually, unlike many men with small penises, I don’t obsess about it and feel inadequate and ashamed about its size.  My feelings of inadequacy and shame are much more broadly-based than that.










It’s just to redress the balance.  Men are no good at empathy.  Not like women: my SO always knows when I’m hurting badly, no matter how much I try to conceal it.
It’s much shorter than my punishment song – which has seventeen verses.  Even though I’ve never considered myself a good singer, my SO usually enjoys it so much she ‘asks’ for an encore.  Sometimes two.
Lucky bastard – he’s going to be experiencing his top sexual fantasy for the rest of his life.
The gentlemen in the picture likes to claim he is ‘very experienced in BDSM’ but actually, he’s about to discover there’s a lot more to it than he had ever imagined.

 

120 minutes a slave

…followed by a slightly stilted conversation while putting my clothes back on, a quick hug, a kiss of her hand, then back out and switch on the mobile to find out what craziness has been going on at work while I’ve been in session.




You can get upgraded to business class.  The container’s only slightly bigger (though you do feel the difference after a long flight, I find) but you get meaty chunks from a proper tin of food instead of those dry pellets.
Nurses have seen it all, of course, but many women find it quite offensive when a man visibly develops an erection in their presence.  My SO certainly does, and has been helping keep that side of my personality under tight control.

Sometimes you can tell even without looking at them.  And sometimes you just beat them anyway, on the off-chance.  It’s all good.
On my very first date, I actually had a premature orgasm – which was very embarassing.  You see, I was wearing light-coloured trousers, so when she opened the door and said hello, I exploded in a very visible dark stain.  Fortunately, that was the last bad thing that happened on that date, although I did almost get caught on the nose by the door as it slammed shut again.
What do we want? Justice!


Fail better

I do that. I’m really good at failing, actually. 

A bit of a shame to call in sick – the girls at work recognised you and have something special planned, whenever you’re next in the office.


Marriage is always a learning experience. She’s just determined to make the learning experience a bit more structured, that’s all.

I’ve always tried to use humour to defuse tense situations. On my very first… time with a woman, if you know what I mean, I was very nervous indeed.  Fortunately she burst out laughing as soon as I’d taken my clothes off, and she was still giggling when her taxi arrived ten minutes later. I’ve always been able to make women laugh: it’s a gift.
I suppose that must mean she has a basement too – they’re all the same, the houses on that row. I wonder what she keeps down there?




Funnily enough, it turns out Prop 677 wasn’t even necessary. Enough Californians worship Anne as a goddess for her to qualify for the religious exemption, so she didn’t have to pay taxes anyway. Still: it was a nice gesture.

Despite all the amputations

… you know Her life was saved by rock and roll?


He’s already made his wish. In fact, he’s still fervently making it.  But it’s not going to come true.
 The wonderful, lovely, powerful, stunning, brilliant and creative Mistress Eleise.  And Someone else I don’t know but will be happy to credit.

Obviously.

That’s just silly.  You can’t hypnotise someone into doing something they really don’t want to do.  So you’ll be fine. As long as she doesn’t actually want to do it. Yeah.


I hope he wears a crisp white uniform.











She really enjoys her job.  She meets people from all walks of life… gets to torture them… the look of terror on the faces of those who’ve experienced her treatments before makes it all worth while, you know?



Infemmey

They’ve all got it… oh never mind.


I
get reward points for spending on my SubbieCard. Every time I reach a
certain threshold – a multiple of £20, actually so it’s almost every
week – I get to drop into the bank and get slapped hard across the face.







I, on the other hand, fervently hope that she’s going to behave exactly like this when we’re married.








The time’s not wasted when it’s helping the marriage to work.


















Goodness, that sounds quite scary. What a good thing there are so many competent women looking after it.








It’s a jungle out there. Much better off safe and sound behind bars.











Blonde justice

The truth can hurt, sometimes.

They asked Nurse Jenkins to perform the procedure.  She’s a pain management specialist, you see.  She’s very good at it.

If you do want to discuss it with your father-in-law, you’ll have to wait until he’s finished his corner time.
Well, I hope someone’s consented to this. Otherwise, I find the whole thing a bit unethical.


Mistress Eleise can lead me into temptation any time She likes.