Category: blondes

Fail better

I do that. I’m really good at failing, actually. 

A bit of a shame to call in sick – the girls at work recognised you and have something special planned, whenever you’re next in the office.


Marriage is always a learning experience. She’s just determined to make the learning experience a bit more structured, that’s all.

I’ve always tried to use humour to defuse tense situations. On my very first… time with a woman, if you know what I mean, I was very nervous indeed.  Fortunately she burst out laughing as soon as I’d taken my clothes off, and she was still giggling when her taxi arrived ten minutes later. I’ve always been able to make women laugh: it’s a gift.
I suppose that must mean she has a basement too – they’re all the same, the houses on that row. I wonder what she keeps down there?




Funnily enough, it turns out Prop 677 wasn’t even necessary. Enough Californians worship Anne as a goddess for her to qualify for the religious exemption, so she didn’t have to pay taxes anyway. Still: it was a nice gesture.

Despite all the amputations

… you know Her life was saved by rock and roll?


He’s already made his wish. In fact, he’s still fervently making it.  But it’s not going to come true.
 The wonderful, lovely, powerful, stunning, brilliant and creative Mistress Eleise.  And Someone else I don’t know but will be happy to credit.

Obviously.

That’s just silly.  You can’t hypnotise someone into doing something they really don’t want to do.  So you’ll be fine. As long as she doesn’t actually want to do it. Yeah.


I hope he wears a crisp white uniform.











She really enjoys her job.  She meets people from all walks of life… gets to torture them… the look of terror on the faces of those who’ve experienced her treatments before makes it all worth while, you know?



Infemmey

They’ve all got it… oh never mind.


I
get reward points for spending on my SubbieCard. Every time I reach a
certain threshold – a multiple of £20, actually so it’s almost every
week – I get to drop into the bank and get slapped hard across the face.







I, on the other hand, fervently hope that she’s going to behave exactly like this when we’re married.








The time’s not wasted when it’s helping the marriage to work.


















Goodness, that sounds quite scary. What a good thing there are so many competent women looking after it.








It’s a jungle out there. Much better off safe and sound behind bars.











Blonde justice

The truth can hurt, sometimes.

They asked Nurse Jenkins to perform the procedure.  She’s a pain management specialist, you see.  She’s very good at it.

If you do want to discuss it with your father-in-law, you’ll have to wait until he’s finished his corner time.
Well, I hope someone’s consented to this. Otherwise, I find the whole thing a bit unethical.


Mistress Eleise can lead me into temptation any time She likes.






Drama. Queens.


Squeak!

I once asked my SO for a public humiliation session.  So She made me start a blog in which I had to publish all my sick, dark and bleak fantasies from my miserable life. It’s going quite well.

You could try telling her that your ‘trophy’ is barely worth collecting.

They’re going to be discussing mens’ rights quite extensively, I understand.










Don’t worry – they’re not going to throw them all at your face.  Pretty soon, they’ll move on to other parts of your body.

Try to see it Her way

…only time will tell if She is right or you are wrong.

Not do a good job at ‘good vigorous vanilla sex’?  Little chance of that, I can assure you!  Prepare for the best eleven seconds of your life, baby!




She later sold the house… said it contained too many memories.

If this blog is still going in three years, I guess this isn’t really going to work.

Looks like everyone’s having a slow, lazy afternoon.

She actually found it quite traumatic to watch, as she did the three she watched later on in the holiday.  But she bought the souvenir DVD anyway.

Speaking of holiday – I’m going off on one, fnarr fnarr.  So, usual CtD summer: with slightly faded but unused old captions published on a daily basis with minimal fuss.  Watch this space… but don’t forget to refresh your screen, or it’ll be a long dull summer for you.



Soft power



Of course, an average can be brought down quite a lot by just one bad review.  Especially if that’s from the only date you’ve ever been on.


Mmm…. looks like you just became a premium product!  Something to be proud of.

She wasn’t a huge success as a nurse, to be honest, especially when she did a stint learning how to administer pain relief, which turned out just not to be her thing.
Obviously
successfully navigated that tricky moment towards the end of the date,
when she eases her shoes off, settles back and you have to decide
whether it’s appropriate to ask whether you can masturbate while
kneeling in front of her and sniffing her feet.

I expect he’s forgotten all about that time you ate his dogfood too.  I mean, that was Mistress’s fault really, but he wasn’t to know that.


Violence is golden

Actually, I understand a day is like a whole beetle year.  So in beetle years, you’ve got, what… 6 minutes left, maybe longer?  And it’s not like you’ll be dying all in one go, anyway.
I don’t have any secret embarassing thoughts about women. They’re all laid out here, for all to see,

A little food goes a long way in the OWK.
Cherishing’s very important.  She’s going to insist on lots of that.







It’s silly to be afraid of the sea, anyway.  You know, you can drown in just a few inches of water, right?  Especially with handcuffs on.  My SO told me that once and likes to remind me of it from time to time. 
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