Category: bikini

She’s right, you know

 She just is.




My
SO once told me that it was on our honeymoon that I gave her the best
sex she’s ever experienced.  Which is a bit of luck, really, as you
never know what you’re going to get when you’re in a foreign place and
you don’t know the escort agencies well.


It’s only fair: she took his electric razor, when they split up, I understand.



Got there eventually.  Well done.  Now let’s talk about ironing pleats.



Don’t worry: he won’t allow himself to be improperly influenced.  Properly influenced, yes, certainly, possibly even vigorously influenced.  But no more than that.




Women, eh?  Sometimes you’re supposed to scream in agony, sometimes you’re supposed to stay silent.  How are we supposed to know?  I mean, unless they use ball-gags and stuff.

Deeply indebted to her

…but she sometimes lets me off the monthly interest if I consent to one of the ‘special’ games she likes to play.  It’s quite an incentive to keep the payments up, actually.

Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve heard you can see the sea from the bar they’re planning to spend the afternoon in, so I’m sure they’ll notice if the tide comes a bit further up than they were expecting.


Hmmm… it’s almost like they’re in a – what’s the word?  Predicament.

What can it mean?  I don’t know… I just work here.
Consent is very important in BDSM.  My SO absolutely insists on it.

Ah well.  Nearly got a freebie there.  You know… I was playing SPH humiliation scenes years before I knew that was a thing.  I just called it ‘dating’.







Lovingly brutal


My SO has some lovely heavy rubber gimp outfits she likes me to wear.  But for some reason only in summer. This time of year I’m not allowed to wear them. Or indeed any clothing at all.  (I don’t count anything made of metal as clothing).






On the other hand, he does have to pay for it.  A sissy slave doesn’t, which is just as well as they’re rarely allowed much pocket money.

She’s Head of the family now that her mother has passed away, of course. I mean, her father’s still around, I think, but no one ever paid much attention to him anyway.
This is the magnificent Goddess Sophia, on whose dungeon floor I have occasionally had the honour to be an unsightly smudge.
I think it’s all a bit unfair, really.  I mean the hunters have trucks, high-powered rifles and female brains.








I think she wants creative control. And the biggest trailer on the set, with a soundproofed playroom too, obviously.






Desperate househusbands


Oh dear… the guys are sure to laugh at me now.  I mean… ‘LUT’.  Doesn’t mean anything does it?  How ridiculous.






I’m told that masturbating to porn can seriously diminish the male libido over the long run as well, so you just keep on doing what you’re doing, ‘k?
Actually, only one of them is going to be kissing in a very special place. Just after this conversation, the Mistresses decided it would be one orgasm between them, not one each.  But no jealousy, sissies – play nice!
My SO is very good at dealing with feelings of guilt, too.
Edwardian femdom. There’s not enough of it about, in my opinion.


My company was charming

Well, what am I supposed to do with the other 38 seconds, then?








Thank goodness she’s looking out for me.




Don’t try to argue or plead your way out of it – it’s one of those Mars/Venus things, you know?  She’s got some emotional issues that need to be worked out and until Gerald arrives, you’re the only one she can turn to.






In the femdom community, athlete’s foot is considered an STD.






You’ll notice she hasn’t put the surfboard on the fire yet. Another Mars/Venus moment, yeah?  Any ideas why ? Hmm?  No? Sigh…because she’s waiting to see if you’ll do it yourself without being specifically asked, you unfeeling brute. Obviously, this relationship is going to need a lot of work.


Miss-judged



I’ve been a very bad wolf.

Actually, there’s a funny story about this one.  It turned out there were no fewer than three Miguels on the beach!  So as you can imagine things got a little embarassing – and of course we soon ran out of condoms and beer, so I had to run back to the shop. Still, it all worked out OK in the end.

You can cary an orgasm donor card, you know: ‘I want to help someone come when I die’?  Not that it really makes much difference, but prior consent is a thing with some people.

I think he’s looking at her funny now.  Some men never learn, huh?

And the evening, and the next day too, if need be. One wrist can outlast a great many bottoms, as any schoolmistress will attest.


Maids of dishonour



Just as long as I don’t have to do the thing with the blow-up flamingo again.

He’s lucky she’s in such a good mood. When she gets cross, things can get quite unpleasant.
The delightful and sweet-natured Mistress Sidonia of the English Mansion, of course. She has a wonderful blog, full of unusual and interesting stuff.  I’m sure you knew that already.
The editors get a lot of letters like that. They have to hide them from their own wives, of course.

He came to the Sanctuary hoping to act out his fantasies about brutal rape.  Which, in a way, he did.
They look like they have high standards don’t they?  Or maybe the surface was just very, very dustry. He’ll be hoovering the bath after this.

 Here’s an extra one.  Doesn’t feature any actual females, so doesn’t really count (the same principle should apply to elections and board meetings, in my humblest opinion):








Cower pose

Actually, little wifey has a spare and could easily be persuaded that medical monitoring at work is important too.
Remember: she loves you and would never want to cause you any pain.  But sometimes she feels she has to.
Nicer, but dimmer.
It’s quite a slow way to communicate.  But effective.

She believes equally in strict maternal and uxorial discipline.


Sing when you’re losing






Boys can do anything girls can do. Just not as well, and usually only after some ‘encouragement’.

If it’s any consolation, the staff at the Re-education camp enjoy scenarios involving punishment, too. Especially with male doms. So there’s that.

It’s like smoking – easier never to start.







Hope that put your mind at rest.







Like I said: not as well and after some encouragement.


Shameful display!




20 minutes? Women, eh?  I can get there in 20 seconds, usually before I’ve even got my trousers off.

,,,and footboys are sworn to the code of secrecy.  Also, rarely if ever allowed to go out or communicate with anyone except Mistress.

They proved it scientifically, using double-blind tests. 125 blindfolded men were slapped across the face repeatedly, over a period of three years (while others received equivalent amounts of pain in other ways, as a control).  On average, memory retention increased by 2.3%, on a statistically significant basis. The effect wasn’t uniform, though. Some subjects benefitted a lot, but fully 17% of the men receiving the slapping treatment were unable to remember anything at all from their lives before the programme started.  There’s obviously a lot still to learn, but the Institute just received a €8 million grant, so research continues.

 

He likes her to be pristine for when he comes on her breasts. 

Just what I always say.  It’s all very well to say that men and women should be equal in status and respect, but naughty bottoms don’t spank themselves, do they, so there has to be some differentiation of roles in marriage.  That’s a nice-looking corner, just behind them, by the way, don’t you think?  I expect they make good use of that.