Contemplating the divine – Page 176 – Stories and pictures themed around female domination and male subjugation and servitude. Unsuitable for children, for alpha males, for hard-core practitioners with an interest in the politics of bdsm and the mechanics of complicated rope work. Of interest to perverts like me, basically.

The dignity of labour

Hi honey!

Listen – I was talking to my accountant the other day, and I was telling him all about how humiliated you feel, out of work all this time, and entirely dependent on me – and he –

– Oh don’t be silly. I don’t have secrets from my accountant! –
Anyway – he had the most brilliant idea! He said, why don’t I set up a company and employ you! I mean, I can easily afford it. I get paid more money for one day’s filming than you used to earn in a year, after all! It’s nothing to me, really. Just loose change.

Hmm? Oh I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter what you do, does it? He said he could run up some meaningless forms, and you can spend the day filling them in or something.

And he’s found an office across town where you can do it. Quite a way off – you’ll be commuting for a few hours each day. Just like having a real job! Isn’t that exciting?

Oh no, too late to pull out now. He’s already bought the office block. It was just a few millions, and apparently there’s some kind of tax dodge so it doesn’t really cost me anything.

And he’s already found someone we can pay to be your boss. Hmmmm? Oh, I don’t know. Some awful sweaty old guy, I think. He’ll be on your case all the time, apparently. That way, it’ll feel more like you’re really earning your money, won’t it?

So – you’ll have your own money, and you won’t have to depend on me for everything! Won’t that be great? Minimum wage, of course, but we’ll get a performance management system set up, so maybe you can earn bonuses and promotions for working extra hard – that kind of thing.
Of course you can still live here, sweetie! But I’m going to charge you rent! So you’ll feel really independent and self-sufficient. And I’ll tell the maids to stop cleaning your room.

But I still get to buy you presents, OK? You’ll let me do that?

Great. Maybe I can keep on choosing your clothes, just like now. I like doing that.
Hmm? No, you don’t need to buy new clothes for the job. You have a cute little uniform. It says “Hathaway Enterprises” on it. Isn’t that sweet?

And if there’s ever anything you really want to buy – that you can’t afford – you can always ask. You know that don’t you? It’s not as if the money means anything to me, but for you it’ll be a big deal, now you’re paying for yourself, won’t it? So maybe when I do buy you things, now they’ll be that much more special!

Oh, no, don’t worry about that, darling! Like I said – it’s really just pocket change for me! If I just do one more commerical in Japan, or something like that, apparently it’s enough to employ you 9-5 every day for the next ten years! Isn’t that amazing? So don’t worry about the money – I know it seems like a lot to you, but it’s nothing for me, nothing at all. The important thing is that we need to build up your self-respect! That’s all that matters!

Just think how proud you’ll feel in a year’s time, if you’ve worked hard and I give you a pay rise!

Servitor’s handy hints for safe bdsm play #182

This week’s handy hint: safewords! After this picture!

Now, here’s someone who looks like he’s going to need a really good safeword. Let’s see how he gets on, shall we? We’ll check back on him at the end of the blog post.

Here we go with Servitor’s top ten words or phrases that are unsuitable to use as safewords:

10. More please

9. Eyjafjallajökull (unless you’re Icelandic, in which case Vanhankaupunginselkä will do just as well)

8. I hardly felt that.

7. That was great, Mistress. Now I just need a blow job to finish me off! I’ll pay you extra, if it’s a good one.

6. (your bank account details)

(top 5 after the picture)

Listen: whatever safeword you choose, don’t be like this silly old fool and forget what it is, OK? It might seem a bit of a chore to learn it carefully, but really, when you’re screaming the place down and begging for mercy for the last half hour of your session, you’ll wish you’d repeated it to yourself just once or twice more. You know?

5. How can a clam cram in a clean cream can? (but you have to pronounce it right)

4. కష్టం నాకు విప్

3. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a
good fortune must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first
entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the
surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one
or other of their daughters.

2. I think you should stop, you’re not doing it right. My last domme was much better.

…number one after the picture (you’re getting the idea, right?)

Now here’s an interesting situation. Can there be any doubt that the only acceptable safeword for the bottom to choose here is “Ninety, thank You Mistress”?

…and the number one winner, with more than twice as many votes as the next most unsuitable is…

…wait for it…

1. Bitch

There we are. Just another handy hint from Servitor. Annoying the hell out of dommes, so you don’t have to. Testing No. 1 was pretty damn painful I can tell you, but it’s all part of the service.

Let’s see how our young test subject got on, shall we? Did he choose a good safeword?

Oh dear. Better keep checking in with Servitor’s handy hints!

Oh – one last thing! Remember, readers, never – ever – confuse anything you read on Contemplating the Divine with serious bdsm advice. OK? Play safely now!

Extra duty

Hey honey. How are you?

Oh – yeah, well quite a day. You know we’ve got this terrorist suspect? Well, I was in charge of his interrogation this morning, and he broke completely – but he hadn’t done anything! I mean, I made quite sure. We had a full three-hour session, and he was screaming and begging and pleading for mercy, almost from the start. You know? I’d already learnt everything before I even started on the second fingernail! He was completely innocent. Of course, I had to do the rest, and the other stuff as usual – got to do it by the book!

Apparently he was only here because some ex-girlfriend of his was cross with him or something, so she tipped off the security police that he was plotting to bomb a bridge. It’s really silly, the way they’ll just bring someone in for that sort of thing! Such a waste of all of our time – and his life and career of course! Apparently, he was some sort of computer programmer, and I don’t suppose you can do that without fingers. I think someone should have a word with that ex-girlfriend of his.

So I reported at lunchtime that he was innocent, and do you know, that silly old cow Colonel Travis wasn’t satisfied! Said she thought maybe the suspect was ‘holding out on me’ and maybe I needed to ‘be a bit harder’ on him. Ridiculous! I mean, I know when I’ve broken a man.

But anyway…orders are orders, so I had to go back and do a full afternoon session as well. You should have seen the look on the suspect’s face when I appeared at his cell door again! Shrieking in terror – frantically scrabbling at the walls to get away. He was desperately begging to be executed… especially when I said I wasn’t going to be as easy on him this time. Poor thing.

Of course, I didn’t find out anything new. He confessed to everything in sight, of course, but it was just because he was so terrified. Especially when I started on his eyes – they always hate that.

Hmmm? Oh yes, he’s still alive. There’s not much left of him, of course. Anyway, Cow-nel Travis had gone when I finished, so I just left the report on her desk. If she has me go back and do him again in the morning I’m going to be so cross! Still – I left a few bits untouched, just in case I have to.

What? No – not those bits! Honestly, you men! One track minds. They came off early in the afternoon. Shame – he was kind of cute.

Oh don’t be ridiculous! How can you be jealous? Quite apart from the fact that there’s not much of him left, I think he’d be too traumatised for the rest of his life even to speak to a woman, let alone –

Oh were you joking? Sorry, honey. I’m still just so keyed-up over having my professional judgement questioned like that.

Anyway…one of those irritating days. Grrr!

How about we skip the movie, order a pizza and you can take away some of my tension…hmmm?

Cuando las mujeres atacan

The title is a tribute to my favourite tumblr at the moment, which for a long time I assumed went by the name of “When women attack”, until I bothered to ask Mistress Google what it meant. And a much better title than mine it is, too.

So, on we go. Another post, featuring several hovercraft full of eels.

Lily looks rather sweet, doesn’t she? Not mean at all. Odd, that…

Oh dear, they’re going to be so embarrassed on Monday!
Also on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday – oh, and then really mortified on Friday, when I understand the girls have something special planned.

The lady of course is from Planet Femdom, where Nanshakh paintings come to life…

One of the advantages of male submission, as compared to other sexual perversions, is that you can use it for self-improvement. My Significant Other taught me to fold my shirts properly, for example, by showing me how and then hitting me until I got it right. It’s useful on business trips.
Not a particularly amusing or wry comment, I know, but it happens to be true.

From SchoolMistressFantasy – but my virus checker gets alarmed by this site, so I won’t link: your choice, your risk.

Of course, if they start coming out the other end it doesn’t count.

This is Mistress Elektra Skye, for whom I can’t find a dedicated site – but she’s here, among other places.

Yes, Ma’am. Miss Hurley. Ma’am.

Locked in abasement

It’s where you’ll usually find me. If you can be bothered to look.

Chastity femdom picture that kind of thing

She feels your pain. But not quite as much as you do.

Caning femdom picture that kind of thing

It’s supposed to look like that. But then – you’re supposed to be caned, too.

Let’s hope it’s not a third six. It can happen, though. I once rolled a huge pile of dice and almost all of them came up six. I can’t remember exactly how many, but it was at least seven of nine.

You wouldn’t think dommes would be so indecisive, would you?

At least one of these magnificent ladies is the awesome* Madame Sarka, formerly of the OWK and now of herself. If any ‘readers’ can help identify the other lady, I will be grateful.

One art critic described her work as ‘a joyful celebration of life, movement and freedom’, which is rather ironic, when you think about it.

* When I use the word ‘awesome’ it should be understood in its original sense, meaning ‘inspiring awe’, rather than it’s modern sense (pronounced ‘ossom’) meaning ‘quite good’.

Party animal

Oh, hey
loser!

Yeah, I did
want to see you. Imagine that! You, actually talking to me.

Anyway, I
heard you’d been, like, perving around trying to find out about my party, so
you can come to it? But you know, it’s
only, like, for attractive people, so you can’t go?

Well… are
you really desperate to be there?
Really? I mean really desperate?

OK, that’s
pretty pathetic. So I’m going to help
you out.

See, it’s
going to be a real blast. There’s going
to be a lot of guys there, and they’re going to drink a lot and get pretty
blasted and there’ll be, like, drugs and stuff, you know?

So, the
place is going to be pretty trashed, and my folks have said that if I leave it
in that state again, I’m going to be grounded.

So – here’s
the deal. You can come to the party, as
long as you’re not there too early, and as long as you clean up, OK?

How late? Well… I
guess it would be OK for you to arrive by about 3am. Most people should have gone by then.

Anyway, when
you get here, you go to the utility room and you put on an apron and get some
brushes and cloths and things and start cleaning up, OK? There might still be some people partying by
then, but I guess most people will have gone, or they’ll be making out, or just
chilling, you know? You can clean around
them.

So – the
first thing will be cleaning up all the food, and spilt drinks. You can have leftovers, but no alcohol,
OK? You’re a clumsy idiot when you’re sober, so I am not letting you drink. And make sure you get any vomit
up straight away, because that smell can really linger. Scrub at it with a stiff brush and plenty of water.

And you just
keep on cleaning until you’re done. No
vacuum cleaner before I’m up next day, OK?
If that thing wakes me up, I’m going to make you put your cock in it and
put it on turbo. And our vacuum
cleaner’s really powerful, so you don’t want to make me do that. Do not for one second imagine I’m joking.

You’ll have
all day, if you need it, to get it all straight again. My folks are coming back early the day after.

OK, so
you’ll be there tomorrow night? Good.

Well…?

Well? Are you going to thank me for inviting you to my party, you ungrateful little shit?

OK, that’s better. Now fuck off.

Oh – one
thing? If my folks aren’t satisfied with
the way it looks? And I’m grounded? Then I will make you regret that every single
day for the rest of the year. Do not
test me.

And if
anyone asks, tell them I’m paying you to clean, OK? I don’t want them to think I invited
you. In fact, bring some money that I
can hand you as your wages.

OK, you can leave now.

Self-discipline

They say that self-discipline is a very important trait to develop. But it’s just never as good as the real thing, is it?

On we go, burbling and stumbling gradually into total irrelevance.

He was known as a bit of a ball-breaker too, which is actually rather ironic considering what happens to him when the laundry isn’t done to everyone’s satisfaction.

Aren’t they great? ~~This is the Dutch airforce. Well, not all the Dutch air force, obviously.~~ Found on this rather unusual tumblr (I don’t often credit tumblrs, but this is a bit different) http://dommesmilitaire.tumblr.com/ If anyone knows of a country that’s likely to be invaded by ~~the Netherlands~~ in the near future, do let me know, as I think I’d like to be oppressed by these people.

OK, thanks to an anonymous commenter below, I now know this is not the Dutch air force, but the US air force. In Alaska. Not Holland. Well… I was close.

Still, I suppose that will at least make the task of finding a country likely to be invaded by these people a little easier.

Kind of puts things into perspective, don’t you think?

Oh for goodness sake! I’m into femdom because I don’t want to make choices! Why are so many dommes so soft?

This is an image from Cruella, the Lady Victoria – who was presented as the Editrix of their magazines. Of course, that was long ago, before the Internet. 1990 or thereabouts, and I a callow young student, nervously travelling down to London to buy a brown paper bag of magazines… aye, we made our own entertainment in them days, you know.

In some households the husband fucks the maid, too. But not in this one. She doesn’t have the key, anyway.

Bridegroom punishment in female led relationship

Yes, that’ll help get you in the mood to take your weddings vows. Not the wishy-washy ones during the church service. The real ones, just before.

Pre-nuptial agreement

Ah, there
you are, darling. Now have you written
that note?

No? Well why not?

Oh don’t be
ridiculous, darling. It’s just a
precaution. I mean, we both love each
other now, of course we do, and I fully expect that we’ll both love one another
for ever. But just in case – just on the
off-chance – that something happens and our marriage isn’t working any more…
well, then it’s useful to have arranged something like this beforehand, that’s all. Isn’t it?

What do you
mean, you don’t know what to say? It’s
pretty simple. You don’t have to worry
about getting the wording exactly right or anything. I mean if you really were committing suicide, you’d
be a bit distraught, wouldn’t you? You’d
probably just put down any old thing.

Just say –
you know, that you can’t take it any more, you hate your life and you’ve
decided to put an end to your worthless existence. That sort of thing. Oh – and probably best to say you’re sorry for any pain you’ve caused me, but that you think this is the best thing for both of us.

Hmm? No – best
not to specify any method. We don’t know
whether you’d be co-operative if I ever needed to use it, so I think I’d better have to improvise whatever I can at the time. If I ever need it.

Are you
writing it now? Great. Well, when it’s done, give it to me and I’ll
put it somewhere safe.

And then I can
tell you all about the plans for the wedding!

There must be an angel

(playing with my heart)

It’s amazing what you can achieve with a little thoughtfulness and the daily touch of a razor-sharp blade.

When the cat’s away, the mice will.. well, do their chores and write lines, by the look of it.

Sometimes these things are just, well, involuntary aren’t they? It’s not that she wants to burn your hand with the iron – she just feels a compulsion.

She’s probably joking. Don’t you think she’s joking?

There are more hot chicks in empire-line dresses right here, if that’s your thing. According to Google, though, I’m the only person in the world for whom “hot chicks in empire-line dresses” is a thing, so maybe not.

Forensic examination

Ah, Mr Sandwick. How are you feeling?

Yes, well no bones were broken, fortunately.

It was a nasty crash, though. You had bruises all over.

Now – we’re going to need your help with something. The police need us to put together a full report on the injuries you sustained, so they can determine what happened in the crash. Obviously, your chin got that horrible gash as the dashboard crumpled upwards, and there are bruises around your shoulder, where you jarred against the seatbelt…

…but there’s some quite severe and sustained bruising on your buttocks that we’re trying to understand.

Any thoughts?

No, well I suppose you were losing consciousness at the time. Not really fair to expect you to remember! I just thought, maybe…

Only…it’s odd, because there are two quite distinct patterns of bruising, on your buttocks and upper thighs. The majority of the bruises – and we think these were sustained first – are consistent with some sort of heavy, but soft and flexible object repeatedly impacting your buttocks horizontally. Like – I don’t know. Maybe like a leather or a rubber belt. But probably heavier than a normal belt. Was there anything like that in your car that could have caused your injuries? Maybe a fan belt from the engine, next to the driver’s seat? I mean, it seems unlikely it could whip about repeatedly like that, but…

No? No, well that’s what the police said too. Very hard to understand.

And then there are some really nasty bruises from something long and straight and thin – six of them, almost perfectly evenly spaced across your buttocks, starting on the upper thighs and going up. Those look very sore. I expect you can still feel them when you sit down. Any thoughts how those might have happened? It was probably after the first lot of bruises. Oh – and we’re pretty sure your buttocks were probably stretched taut at the time of the impact. As if you were doubled up… or bent over.

No? Well, it is a mystery, isn’t it? We’ve been discussing it, here on the ward, and none of the doctors or nurses can make head or tail of it. Everyone’s fascinated. Quite the little medical mystery – just like a TV show!

Do try to remember, though, if you can. We’ve been wondering if you might – perhaps – have been doing something before you got in the car, that caused you to sustain these bruises? Some kind of activity that might have involved the kind of repeated impacts that I just described?

No? Can’t think of anything at all? Oh well.

Only the other car’s driver is disputing liability for all of the injuries, you see. So I expect you’ll be asked about it as a witness in the court case. In court. Under oath.

What’s that? Oh good lord, no, you can’t just drop charges now, I’m afraid Mr Sandwick. The insurance companies are involved, and they’ll want to make sure they’ve got to the truth.

Anyway, I need to take some photos. If you could just pop your pyjama trousers down? That’s right. And if you wouldn’t mind – it’s better if you stretch a bit, so it’s easy to see everything. So if you could stand here – that’s right – and then bend over with your bottom up in the air. That’s right. Don’t worry about the pyjama bottoms, down there around your ankles is fine.
Ooops! Silly me – I forgot the camera. You just wait in that position. I won’t be a moment. If anything jogs your memory about what might have happened, you will say, won’t you? Only it’s probably better now, than in court.