Category: whimsy

I have mentioned the ‘Slavr’ app a few times on this blog.  A number of
you (quite a small number) have written to ask about it.  To be honest, I
thought you’d all be on it already (“a bunch of lazy little sods who need
a good whipping, your readers” my SO commented).  Surely everyone
uses Slavr these days?  It has pretty much got rid of the old-fashioned
24/7 lifetime slavery contract approach for good, I’d have thought.


But, for the benefit of those who can’t be bothered to go off and just ask
Mistress Google*, here’s a brief summary.


Slavr, in brief, is a platform for slave service sharing.  It provides
useful and occasionally amusing services to ladies, while giving males some
meaning in their otherwise purposeless and absurd little lives.  Users can
register as a ‘taskmistress’ or a ‘slave user’ (‘sluser’, or often just
shortened to ‘loser’), with the former limited of course to female citizens**.
  Taskmistress registration is a simple operation, just involving
downloading an app but the sluser registration process is much slower, with a
117 page license agreement to be clicked through and 16 different pages of
forms to fill in, including all the necessary legal and medical
disclaimers.  The app frequently crashes during this process, requiring the
prospective user to begin again.  Despite this, there are presently more than forty times as many registered slusers as taskmistresses, which just goes to show how desperate men can get.


Once registered, a sluser is required to declare availability.  This is
the most important stage in the registration process (not least because almost
all of the other information that the prospective sluser laboriously types in
is simply discarded without even being sent to the Slavr servers).  Males
between the ages of 18 – 65 must declare minimum availability of at least three
evenings a week (three hour minimum availability period) plus at least one full
day (6 am to midnight) at weekends.  It is also possible simply to declare
unavailable times instead, such as
office working hours, with all other time presumed ‘available’.

Ever spent hours scrubbing between tiles with a toothbrush? No? Get on Slavr and you’ll find out what you’ve been missing – it was the ninteenth most popular task from taskmistresses in 2016!

Slusers should also declare skills. 
Only consistently highly-rated slusers qualify to be assessed for sexual
services, so don’t bother looking for ‘cunnilingus’ and similar on the
menus.  Put housework down (and break it
down by task if possible – you’ll be rated for individual activities and a
five-star washing-up slave is unlikely to perform well in a really complex
ironing task).  Unskilled labour is
automatically checked, as is any amount of heavy lifting for slusers below the
age of 65.  During temporary periods of illness,
confirmed by a Slavr-certified female doctor, slusers may be ineligible for
hard physical labour, as may over-65 seniors not registered for the “Work me to
death” programme. Don’t forget about professional skills too.  Many taskmistresses are a lot more interested
in getting free labour from highly qualified professionals, than using them as footstools, oddly enough. A taskmistress trying to sort
out her financial affairs might be really pleased to find a highly-paid
accountant to do it for nothing, for example. 
Lawyers also seem to be much in demand, particularly for the more
demeaning and painful tasks.

Perhaps surprisingly for many slusers “having my shiny high-heeled boots licked clean” featured nowhere in the top 100 tasks commanded on Slavr in 2016.  Among the standard tasks, “Laundry and ironing” came top, followed by “Carry a heavy thing”. Time for a new fetish, perhaps?

The taskmistress basic interface is shown below.  Any taskmistress can see all available
slusers within her area, for immediate tasking. She can also book in advance,
which is particularly useful for taskmistresses living in remote
locations.  Unlike the evening slots,
full-day slots from 6am to midnight do not include travel time, so a sluser
might need to journey through the night to be ready and waiting at the
designated spot bright and early the next day. 
Taskmistresses can see all relevant details about any slusers, simply by
selecting them from the map or the full directory.  As specified by the sluser privacy agreement,
information such as name, age, home address, skills, availability, location, previous
ratings, bank balance and photo are all shared among all taskmistress users at
all times.

During a period of registered availability, a sluser’s phone must be
switched on and have an active data connection. Slavr regularly ‘pings’
users’ phones to check connectivity, so it’s advisable not to let the
battery run down. Many slusers maintain a dedicated smartphone just for
Slavr.  SlavrCorp is reportedly
developing its own-brand smartphone, that will only be capable of running the
Slavr app, can be conveniently attached to any part of the body and delivers
electric shocks when tasks arrive (or at any time, on the command of any
registered taskmistress, worldwide).You can register as a beta tester on the SlavrCorp web site, I believe.

Shopping with friends.  And a sluser or two carying the heavy stuff behind them.

For immediate tasking, the taskmistress simply selects her preferred sluser
and presses “Run!”. The sluser’s phone will ring, vibrate and (if fitted with
the Slavr ShockCaller) deliver an electric shock, terminate all ongoing phone
calls and apps and display a screen similar to the one below:

The sluser has the option of clicking on the “Yes Mistress, right away!”
button or… well, that’s it really.

Remember: the button she pressed is not marked ‘call’ or ‘request’ or ‘summon’.  The button she pressed is ‘Run’ and so you had better fucking run, hadn’t you boy?

The sluser must be kneeling in the location required before the counter
reaches zero.  Times to reach the
rendezvous point are calculated from Google Maps (with the time multiplied by
0.7, as Google Maps assumes the user is not running).   Many taskmistresses will automatically down-rate
any sluser who is not early.  Reminders
may be sent.

Sometimes the taskmistress will be waiting at the rendezvous point, more
usually she will take her own sweet time. Many taskmistresses use Slavr for
carrying shopping, for example, typically requesting a pick-up just before
entering the store, so they can be confident a sluser will be there on his
knees whenever they come out. 
Occasionally, taskmistresses will change their minds or simply forget
about their Slavr order.  They can cancel
but there’s really no reason to do so, so in those circumstances the sluser
will simply remain in the kneeling position. 
In the early days of Slavr, these ‘abandoned’ slusers caused some
problems and many taskmistresses reported slusers with bad knees almost unable
to walk or carry out the simplest tasks without whipping, due to kneeling too
long.  Slavr therefore now automatically
cancels a task after a sluser has been kneeling for two hours without pick-up,
checking first with the taskmistress whether she wishes to extend for a further
two hours***.  

Many slusers find the work quite hard at first. Don’t worry – even though they know you’re submissive, Slavr’s taskmistresses also realise that you’re just another lazy, feckless man without the right encouragement.  This sluser’s about to get some direct user feedback.

At the end of the tasking, of course the sluser is released (this will happen automatically after just 12 hours inactivity, so don’t worry your taskmistress forgets formally to end the task).  The taskmistress is prompted to rate the sluser’s service.  Feedback is very important indeed and the Slavr corporation ensures that all of its registered slusers receive a comprehensive feedback session at least once a week.  Ratings of two stars and below are dealt with wtithin 24 hours, after which will be given the opportunity to send a written apology, explaining how much you learnt from the experience.

If a sluser receives a no-star rating, the taskmistress will be sent a video link to watch the feedback session if she wishes. Ladies of a kindly disposition are advised to consider carefully whether they actually want to see it.

Update!  There’s exciting news about Slavr’s new service – Slavr-Pay!  Here’s an advance copy of the pitch.  

*  That’s Google’s special search service for male subs.  You have
to ask very, very nicely for search results, then wait on your knees. 
What? You hadn’t heard of it? Honestly, am I the only here who actually uses a
computer?


** SlavrFem – purportedly a new service aimed at dominant males seeking
submissive females turned out to be a hoax operation, run by a group of female
supremacists.  Approximately 15,000 male users registered on the first
day. SlavrCorp moved rapidly to disown the hoax product and it is thought that
no more than a thousand males actually attempted to use the service to arrange
a rendezvous with a female slave.  A class action suit, seeking to pin the
blame for the castration these men experienced on SlavrCorp itself, was thrown
out by Justice Erica Braithwaite with the comment “These dumb men and
their genitals are much better separated anyway.”.


***  Of course, if a taskmistress
actually intends for a sluser to
kneel for any period of time, she can simply set it as a task, in which case no
limit is imposed, rather than going to the trouble of clicking for an extension
every two hours.