riding crop – Page 5 – Contemplating the divine

Domme-splaining

And don’t worry if you find yourself crying at night, miserable, love-lorn and alone, OK? Cos she’s fine with that too.

You don’t want to be one of those men that just satisifies his own sexual desire and leaves her unfulfilled, do you? No? Didn’t think so. Up you get, then. Don’t forget to scream on the way down.

I used to have this problem of my sessions being over too quickly. So I complained to my domme and now we have this system whereby my session officially ‘starts’ 23 hours before I actually arrive. I get a 10% discount off the usual hourly rate too, so it’s a good deal really.

So many new things to understand in this relationship. The dictionary’s a big help. So’s the shock collar, of course.

What a lovely spanking bench. Don’t you think?

Like lovers do

Sex..?. Don’t talk to me about sex. I tried it once – not tryin’ that again. Nearly got me ‘ead stuck!
Joke copyright Alexei Sayle.

It’s wilful impertinence on your part. So’s being too early, obviously.

Scurry scurry scurry…

Don’t worry. She’s quite sweet, really. When she’s not in a bad mood.

In space, no one can hear you sigh with hopeless romantic infatuation…

Feeling her pain

…it’s just something she likes me to do from time to time.

Strictly speaking, that’s probably against school rules. I mean, it’s not as if the chalk’s her property, after all.

It’s up to you whether you sign of course – and feel free to take your time. She can always do you after lunch, if you can hold out that long. Not a problem.

Thank you. Ahhh.

That sounds very fair.

Glad to be of service. It’s the highlight of my month, actually.

These lovely boots exist to drive it round the twist

The call of nature must be obeyed.

She actually has very high standards for sorryness. You’ll see.

It’s her own recipe.

Hmmm… edgy blackmail play. Got to love it. No really, you do.

Love her, love her cane, I suppose.

She has her own way of dealing with problems.

Because she says so

…is there ever any other reason?

It’ll help take your mind off the pain, while you’re waiting, anyway. Nothing like ‘more pain’, to do that.

How exciting! I wonder who it is?

It’s good to talk these things through. And then to smack them out.

You’ve either seen the movie or you haven’t.

Can’t stop staring at.. the …gloves…! Oh, er, right! Dinner. yes, right away.

Yes, I’ve experienced pain in my marriage

Fairly regularly, actually. Usually on Tuesday and Friday evenings.

Gives you a warm glow inside, knowing she’s in charge, doesn’t it? And outside too – obviously.

I’m sure he can take it. Being chained up helps a lot, for a start.

Women, eh! Never satisfied.

I think they are antennae. I find it’s the antennae that usually get detached. Unless she insists that I chew of course – then it just all goes everywhere. Don’t you agree?

Lucky, lucky us.

I yam what I yam

… and I thought what I yam was a beta male, but apparently not. It turns out, I am an omega male:

Omega animals are subordinate to all others in the community, and are expected by others in the group to remain submissive to everyone. Omega animals may also be used as communal scapegoats or outlets for frustration, or given the lowest priority when distributing food.

Ah, let me be her outlet for frustration…

Yes, Ma’am.

Not a beta – you see?

Actually, good rough sander will have much the same effect – and it would be a lot cheaper. Fun, too.

I’m sure she’ll think of something.

There’s always a bit left over.

A turning point

Many of you seem to like the series ‘turning points’: captioned images of situations that are not exactly femdom. But could be. Like this.

Anyway, in the same theme here is one of those little stories that’s just too damn big to fit as a caption.

Hmmm? My riding lesson?

No, it was
rubbish, actually. They gave me that
grey horse again – the lazy one. And he
kept refusing the jump so I gave him a few sharp taps with the whip – you
know. And then he refused it again, so I
decided to show him who was boss. So I
was giving the lazy bastard some good hard cracks right across his rump when
the instructor came up and told me I was giving him too much whip! That I should be trying to coax the stupid
animal instead of thrashing him! Can you
imagine!

She said she’d cancel the lesson if I didn’t stop. So of course I did…but can you imagine? It drove me mad, trotting around on this lazy
old thing and I couldn’t do anything but tap it gently. I’ll swear the brute was laughing at me! You know how frustrated and angry I get when
I don’t get my way. Grrr.

Anyway, when we finished and I took him back to the stall
and tied his reins up, she wasn’t around.
So I gave him 12 good hard ones!
He didn’t like that, I can tell you.
He was jumping about and trying to get his head around, but I was standing well to the side. And I laid them on good and hard – raised some lovely welts.

Anyway, I’m sure it did him a power of good. When I walked past a bit later on the way to the car, he caught sight of me and
cringed. Really. Have you ever seen a horse cringe? I don’t think he’s going to
forget me in a hurry! In fact, I might
ask to have him again next time. I think
we’ll be jumping those fences very nicely.

So… that was my day.
Still feeling angry.

How about you – did you fix that leaking pipe?

Oh darling! I can’t
believe it – I asked you specially! Now
how am I going to wash all this stable smell off? What have you been doing all this time? Just lying about watching TV and surfing the internet I suppose!

Honestly – you do make me cross sometimes. You really do.

…aaaand you think I’m sexy…

It seems that Google has changed its image search alogorithm, so it doesn’t show pornographic pictures in response to most searches. Unless there’s a clear request for porn.

But “Contemplating the Divine” brings up lots of my captions…

…which can only mean Google doesn’t think my blog’s sexy!

Waaaah!

(Hurt sniffle)

I shall carry on, regardless. As my SO likes to say, it’s a good thing I’m so stupid or I’d realise how unattractive I am.

Ms Haberman. Lexx. Try it if you haven’t.

It’s taken them almost four hours to get from her house in town. Hope he’s enjoying it.

Actually, the divorce was rather acrimonious. But I’m sure she won’t want to bring up all those old rows now. Not all at once.

Well, yes, I suppose she could shift it to another day, or quickly pull you off before you go out. But it’s just such a fuss, don’t you think? Easier all round just to leave it this month. I’m sure you won’t miss it – Marie’s a super cook!

It’s good when people can find personal satisfaction in their professional lives. In my job, for example, I’m completely useless and I’m always getting shouted at by people, some of whom are women. Makes it all worthwhile.

Sometimes sorry is the easiest word to say

A really heartfelt “sorry”, gasped through the tears, that is. Sometimes that will melt the harshest heart, and bring forgiveness, won’t it? And sometimes not.

More captioned images of female domination follow, obviously.

*”Trunk” for American viewers. But I think you’ll agree that “boot” is a much sexier word than “trunk”. Unless you have a fetish for elephants… Pervert. We don’t want your kind here on this site.

What went up must also go down.

They’re surprisingly economical to keep, too.

But I want to be clear – you can ask her to stop if it’s getting too much, OK? Just go right ahead and ask.

You won’t have to worry about money ever again? Isn’t that great?