riding crop – Page 5 – Contemplating the divine

Lovingly brutal

My SO has some lovely heavy rubber gimp outfits she likes me to wear. But for some reason only in summer. This time of year I’m not allowed to wear them. Or indeed any clothing at all. (I don’t count anything made of metal as clothing).

On the other hand, he does have to pay for it. A sissy slave doesn’t, which is just as well as they’re rarely allowed much pocket money.

She’s Head of the family now that her mother has passed away, of course. I mean, her father’s still around, I think, but no one ever paid much attention to him anyway.

This is the magnificent Goddess Sophia, on whose dungeon floor I have occasionally had the honour to be an unsightly smudge.

I think it’s all a bit unfair, really. I mean the hunters have trucks, high-powered rifles and female brains.

I think she wants creative control. And the biggest trailer on the set, with a soundproofed playroom too, obviously.

Try to see it Her way

…only time will tell if She is right or you are wrong.

Not do a good job at ‘good vigorous vanilla sex’? Little chance of that, I can assure you! Prepare for the best eleven seconds of your life, baby!

She later sold the house… said it contained too many memories.

If this blog is still going in three years, I guess this isn’t really going to work.

Looks like everyone’s having a slow, lazy afternoon.

She actually found it quite traumatic to watch, as she did the three she watched later on in the holiday. But she bought the souvenir DVD anyway.

Speaking of holiday – I’m going off on one, fnarr fnarr. So, usual CtD summer: with slightly faded but unused old captions published on a daily basis with minimal fuss. Watch this space… but don’t forget to refresh your screen, or it’ll be a long dull summer for you.

Herarchy

And when she’s sure she makes sure you’re sure.

Giving until it hurts.

He is now.

Well, I hate being whipped, so I can see a difference of opinion there that won’t be easy to resolve. Still, better not tell her. It’ll only make her cross.

They’re already planning a sequel. With different male lead characters, obviously.

Since you made it all the way down here (try to work more quickly next time, OK? My Blogger stats show that most readers reach orgasm by the third caption so there’s really no excuse for needing all five) here’s a little extra.

The Portly Polar Pinniped has the best collection of ‘mainstream’ video clips I have ever seen. Many of them very much themed along the ‘women’s world’ that this blog so often celebrates. He must be a busy little aquatic mammal and you’ll want to check out both his uploaded videos and his playlists.

There’s too many to single out all my favourites. But check out this playlist. It starts with the Charlie’s Angels clip you’ve probably seen, but press on as I’ll bet there’s good stuff here you haven’t. Especially this (rather reminiscent of the Two Ronnies Worm that Turned of blissful childhood memory). Oh: and definitely – def-in-ite-ly – this. And so much more.

Flap your flippers together in appreciation of the portly pinniped!

Bossy boots

See? Told you that in the future, boots would stamp down on male faces forever. Or was that George Orwell? Anyway, I have pictures to prove it.

It might get a bit smelly in there, that’s the only thing. But don’t worry: they’ll hose the crate down before you’re introduced to your new owners.

Wife and mother… it’s like two jobs rolled into one.

Don’t worry, they’ll make sure you get all the way to the top.

Looks pretty clean already to me. You don’t suppose she’s not a real biker by any chance, do you?

Ah, Mistress Eleise. Even dressed in her daily work clothes like this, she’s stunning.

Abjective reality

He could try offering her all his money. Oh hang on – he did that already.

Gender sensitivity training. I’ve tried and I am very sensitive indeed to women’s concerns. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t benefit from further instruction, obviously.

Medical research has shown that male impotence can arise from many quite sepaarte causes. Failure to leave out the bins on rubbish day, addressing your wife in an impertinent manner – even ironing a blouse badly can lead to weeks or even months of being completely unable to sustain an erection.

My domme uses my real name in session these days, but only after she made me change it legally to “Maggotdick”.

The lady pictured here contemplating Colin’s immediate future is of course the Divine Mistress Heather. Have I ever mentioned that that she once – oh, did I? OK, then I won’t mention it again this time.

No… no problem at all. I’ll just get my coat…

Losing my religion

OK, so my bitlocked external drive has had a bit of an old crash and makes nasty clicky grindy noises when it tries to go (and there is no way I am taking that particular collection of corrupted files to a computer expert recovery place, thank you). So I’ve lost a few months of stuff since the last backup. And by good luck, I haven’t lost any of the captions I posted during that time but I have lost the file structure that tells me whether I have ever posted them before or not.

So, for the next few months or so, if you find yourself thinking that CtD is even more repetitive and tedious than usual, it probably is and it might be because I’m repeating myself with an image I’ve already posted some time between July and October this year. Tell me in the comments and I won’t replace it directly, but I’ll add a sixth image to the next post. Or something.

Anyway, the show limps on despite technical difficulties, so here we go again:

I’ve nothing to say about this one. Not for another four months, anyway.

She’s got a point there. One of the mistakes newly maried couples often make is thinking they have to do everything together. There are lots of things my SO and I do separately – for example, being chained up naked cold and alone in the cellar is my special thing and there’s no reason for her not to go out clubbing while I’m doing it.

Don’t judge them too harshly. Most new dommes mess up their first breathplay session. Plenty more subs out there, so it really doesn’t matter.

Sooner or later most subs realise it’s not all about them. Some lucky ones eventually realise it’s not about them at all.

‘k.

Domme-splaining

And don’t worry if you find yourself crying at night, miserable, love-lorn and alone, OK? Cos she’s fine with that too.

You don’t want to be one of those men that just satisifies his own sexual desire and leaves her unfulfilled, do you? No? Didn’t think so. Up you get, then. Don’t forget to scream on the way down.

I used to have this problem of my sessions being over too quickly. So I complained to my domme and now we have this system whereby my session officially ‘starts’ 23 hours before I actually arrive. I get a 10% discount off the usual hourly rate too, so it’s a good deal really.

So many new things to understand in this relationship. The dictionary’s a big help. So’s the shock collar, of course.

What a lovely spanking bench. Don’t you think?

Like lovers do

Sex..?. Don’t talk to me about sex. I tried it once – not tryin’ that again. Nearly got me ‘ead stuck!
Joke copyright Alexei Sayle.

It’s wilful impertinence on your part. So’s being too early, obviously.

Scurry scurry scurry…

Don’t worry. She’s quite sweet, really. When she’s not in a bad mood.

In space, no one can hear you sigh with hopeless romantic infatuation…

Feeling her pain

…it’s just something she likes me to do from time to time.

Strictly speaking, that’s probably against school rules. I mean, it’s not as if the chalk’s her property, after all.

It’s up to you whether you sign of course – and feel free to take your time. She can always do you after lunch, if you can hold out that long. Not a problem.