professional dominatrix – Page 19 – Contemplating the divine

Pitiful, really

…but it’s all I’ve got.

I once dated a girl who said she wanted me to be a stallion in the bedroom. So I got all kitted up, you know in reins and harness, and when she came into the room I handed her spurs and the riding whip and she just screamed, slapped me round the face and left. How humiliating. Happy days…

Former boyfriends… bane of my life.

The first time a domme gave me a golden shower and ordered me to lick it up, She asked me what the taste was like. I replied ‘tart’ and things got very painful, very quickly. (Non-British readers won’t get that: don’t worry about it, move on).

I took a personality test once and scored a perfect zero.

She’s lying because she knows I like the contempt. Really, she has to keep swigging at that bottle to take her mind off the hot action in front of her. Otherwise she’d be overpowered with lust, at the sight of an overweight middle-aged sub, desperately jerking away on the floor by her boots. Women just can’t resist that kind of thing.

Servility costs nothing

(although finding someone to whom to be servile can run to several hundred pounds an hour, in my experience)

This is something many men still have to learn. Just because a woman chooses to wear something sexy, you can’t assume she’s doing so for your pleasure.

Any fundamentalist religious types who don’t believe in female supremacy might care to meditate on why the Divine Being provided males with testicles in such a handy container, and then wired them stright into the pain centres. Don’t you think She’s given us a bit of a clue, there?

Mis-statement I’d like to forget?

One day he’s going to have to give up the thing that matters most to him. Her.

Yeah, the usual order.

Ordered relationship

According to Wikipedia’s page on Order Theory: “In other contexts, orders may capture notions of containment.” Well, that’s certainly true. There are several types of orders, if I understand correctly, among which ‘strict ordering’ is clearly the best.

Oh, I think we know what Natasha’s going to say. She’s been breaking boys’ legs since she was a teenager.

Sounds like a lot of fun. Get to work!

If everything not OK, there might be some bureaucratic formalities to go through, at the male holding centre.

You have something you’d rather spend 60% of your income on, than the divine Lady Sophia Black?

Awww no… I went to put in a link but her website has shut down and she is protecting her tweets. I hope Lady Sophia hasn’t retired from the scene. She’s wonderful.

She’s gone to all that trouble. The least you can do is suffer for her, hmm?

Six of the best

A good caning never hurt anyone, right?

Oh, hang on…

I think I’m pretty strongly oriented towards serving Mistress Eleise already.

What to do… what to do.

Ermm… oh, you know. Nothing really. Just one of those things. Forget I said anything. Please?

You should stand up for your rights. When you’ve finished bending over for the cane, obviously.

I hope she doesn’t mind frantic tugging at the bonds, and pitiful pleading, mixed in with the screaming.

She’ll probably be able to empathise more with your pain, now. Probably

Masculinity is a treatable medical condition.

Look, I do understand the hypocrisy involved in my advancing political opinions, but can I just comment on this view going around that Trump’s election is in some way a consequence of ‘political correctness’?

Trump was elected merely because of a ridiculous quirk in the US electoral system, that might have made sense in the eighteenth century but has no relevance to the modern world: namely, that men are allowed to vote. The country basically voted 54% to 42% for Clinton, before all those male votes were taken into account and it’s absurd this should have been allowed to distort the result. Sure, it’s nice to let men feel they can take part, but to actually let them cast ballots unsupervised is just political correctness gone mad, and now we have to live with the consequences.

I mean, honestly, you wouldn’t let a man make decisions about the family finances, or how best to iron your blouse or what time he goes to bed, would you? So why on earth would you let him have a say in choosing the President?

Doesn’t make sense to me. But then, I am ‘chromosomally challenged‘* so what do I know?

(* and yes, I am using that politically correct phrase ironically. What’s wrong with just saying ‘a stupid boy‘ for goodness sake? When did we stop calling things what they are?)

Thank goodness things round here are still sane and matriarchal.

She seems to be controlling his masculinity problem nicely.

She loves her work. You will too.

I think she’s recognising that his behaviour has been causing pain in their marriage – but not quite enough pain.

I wonder how the consultant goes about measuring her?

Secondary sexual characteristics – they’re even more annoying than the primary ones, sometimes. Fortunately, a simple surgical procedure can deal with both at the same time.

Women seem wicked when you’re unwanted

…and isn’t that great? Warning: safe for work video after the link.

But what if he never gets to like it? Hmm. Not sure she’s thought this one through.

Don’t even ask what the chicken mask is for. A magician never gives up her secrets.

Well, he wasn’t treated exactly like that, obviously. Dommes tend to keep their places heated quite well, for one thing, in my experience.

It’s actually much harder playing ‘guess the object that’s been shoved up the slave’s anus’ in a single-domme session. Because then you have to do the guessing and ‘hmmm… it’s definitely something that really hurts’ doesn’t narrow it down much.

Perhaps he should discuss it with his wife. Or perhaps she should, directly.

Gynarchy for the UK

It’s coming some time…maybe.

All these are to be read out in a Bri-ish accent, orright?

Don’t worry – she’ll give her one more chance. She’s quite forgiving really. She’s just cross because she’s got to go to all the trouble of murdering you and disposing of the body, that’s all.

I myself am very firmly opposed to corporal punishment. Forunately, nobody pays a blind bit of attention to my views.

She’s good at riddles, too.

Send him out? Honestly, Henry shouldn’t let her just boss him around like that. He should stand up for himself… be a man.

He does. But I’m sure he’s grateful inside. The British Institution – not to be confused with the Royal Institution, although the one time the BBC made that mistake was the best Christmas science lecture series ever.

See if you can spot the eight men concealed within this picture!

Out with the old…

… in with the younger, sexier and less fucking annoying – as my SO likes to say.

This year She’s decided that my new year’s resolutions will remain Her own secret. Pretty exciting! She’s going to make a little note every time I break one of my resolutions, then deal with it all at the end of the year. That way I can’t sneakily avoid puishment by complying, She says. So that should be fun! Apparently, I’ve broken two of them already.

Anyway, with a slightly nervous twitch in case posting captioned images is one of the things I’ve resolved to cut out, here are the first captioned images of 2017! Just like all the previous ones, huh?

I think you should stand up for yourself. Who does Katie think she is, anyway? Go on – man up.

Male class can be quite uncomfortable, but it’s a lot better than it was in the early days of commercial aviation. You’re inside, for a start and that makes quite a difference.

You see? Now male class in the passenger section is a lot better than going airfreight as livestock, and – What’s that? Oh. Well, it’s even better than going as cargo on a container ship too, I expect. Bon voyage.

He’s probably fine. Men’s brains can go for long periods without oxygen without loss of any useful functions anyway.

Most wedding venues keep a spanking chair somewhere around – just ask the organisers.

Honourable ladies

…but of course they all are, are they not?

Ah well. Back to real life.

I once asked a domme for a session where I’d be treated with total contempt and indifference. I paid her the session fee in advance and then I never heard back from her – then when I tried to get in touch I found my emails and my phone number were blocked. Best session ever.

Don’t worry about the spanking marks. She won’t be embarassed.

I’ve heard in some restaurants, the staff spit in your food if you’re rude. I was in a cafe the other day where the waitress was really beautiful, so I was tempted to insult her just on the offchance, you know, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Just too sub, I guess.

Many men come too early. January, February – that kind of thing But with the right amount of control (preferably made of steel) you should find you can hold back almost indefinitely.

Sexual repression

I have my testosterone levels checked twice a year. They’ve never found any yet, but you can’t be too careful about these things.

I’m delighted to say my SO reaches orgasm every time she has sex. I can usually hear it even from my cage down in the cellar.

Who said she was pissed off? A bit disrespectful, if you ask me. I reckon Dave should report him for that.

Don’t worry, it won’t kill you. Not at only two a day.

I’m tempted to say somethng about ‘hanging around’ but I don’t want to beaten up by irate readers… oh hang on, yes I do.