OWK – Page 12 – Contemplating the divine

I have to praise Her

Although to be fair, it takes him even longer. Months, usually.

Oh don’t worry – it’s just a caption, she’s not really that unfeeling. Anyway, she got another one, so it all ended up well.

Marriage – it takes some getting used to. Just deciding to eat whenever you feel like it, thinking only of yourself, entering or leaving a room without permission, owning things – you just have to gradually accept that you don’t do that any more.

One femdom swallow does not a summer...oh Im not going there

Refusng to swallow could turn out to be quite hazardous to your health, though.

Mmmmpphrrrnnnghhhh.

Awe and shock

They operate a performance management system of penalties and rewards. If you perform badly, you’re punished severely. If you perform well, you’re punished a bit less severely. Probably.

Actually, I have a chapter about dealing with this sort of rejection in my new self-help book, called She’s just not that into you – because you’re a sad little weirdo with a tiny cock.

All sorts of ways that conversation could go. “What key?” would be a bad thing to hear, for instance.

Enjoy.

It’s a good thing someone’s got willpower, anyway.

Unconditionally surrendered

The human furniture was easier to dispose of.

She did promise you a night to remember.

You’ll earn those extra dollars.

How disgraceful another catratrix caption

I went out once a girl once who had a castration fetish. We haven’t seen each other for years, but there’s a part of me that will always be hers.

(Thank you. Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Hey – how many castratrices does it take to change a lightbulb…)

Good thing you’re not going anywhere today. Plenty of time to talk about it.

Incidentally, if you like this blog (and I have to tell you: you’re really wasting your time here if you don’t), you’ll almost certainly like this one as well. He doesn’t put the captions in the pictures, but the basic idea of encapsulating a scene in a few pithy (?) sentences is much the same, and he has some really lovely, sexy, funny ones: Improbable fun

Divine darkness

It’ll be quite a tight fit. Still – only a month to go.

You have the right to remain silent and obedient.

Could be quite an uncomfortable situation, there.

He keeps a daily diary. To be honest, it’s a bit boring.

I’ve never eaten a sweater. I licked out the contents of a vacuuum clearner bag once. Fluffy.

May I take your orders, Ma’am?

More femdom captions. Oh yes. The phrase that seems to fascinate Mr Google, because most of my page views go there. So I’ll say it again. More femdom captions.

Oh yes please, Madame Sarka…

Of course he knows she loves him really. But then she also loves her cat.

Arrgghhooo anglappphy snnnghhh.

Actually, my first girlfriend was kind enough to tell me that the size of my penis was a matter of complete indifference to her. Wasn’t that nice?

Good luck.

Screaming with laughter

It’s such a great combination – don’t you think?

On with the captioned femdom pictures.

Princee Kali, of course. I love the look of sweet innocence combined with cruelty. Screaming with laughter, to be sure.

Isn’t she beautiful? Ahhhh.

Femdom caption brainclamp and thats three words you dont see together every day

Many wives refuse to have their husbands brain-clamped. And it’s true, it does cut down on the opportunities for punishment. But I say there doesn’t always have to be a reason.

I understand the Czech Republic has offered to send some advisors to help the USA out with its partisan political gridlock. I don’t know what they have in mind…but it might be worth trying, right?

Isn’t it nice to see a couple discussing it like this? How hard and how often she beats you… well, that’s something you should have a say in before she decides.

Crawling out of the woodwork

Here I go again:

Dread. A fine healthy emotion, that I always find sneaks up on me as the Tube train gets to a few stations away from Her presence.

They might do some remodelling work on the bits of his face that still show, too.

They never really got the point of card tricks either. Pick a card, slave! No – wrong! 30 lashes! Now pick another!

Oh he loves it really. Just as well, as he has two hours to go.

Just some rough sketches really.

Taken firmly in hand

Oh dream on…

Other world kingdom Gusrdesses go a huntin

The only thing worse than not being found by Madame Sarka and Madame Jana is being found by Madame Sarka and Madame Jana.

That’s because women have more complicated brains and can multitask. When she’s hanging you up by your nipples – to take an example at random – you might just be thinking, ‘Oh my God, the pain, I can’t take it’ but she’s probably thinking about lots of things – what to plant in the garden, whether she really wants to meet her friends than night, all kinds of stuff.

She’s really doing this for you, you know.

Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait long.

Ahhhhhhhhhh…

But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people.

Nothing so pervy as the Bible, is there?

On we go, mustn’t dawdle, only 2 more wanking days before Christmas.

We really need to fundamentally rethink our vision of society, to tackle climate change. Having lots of beautiful dommes around wearing leather would be a really good start, IMWO*.

Later he discovered that he could tell the difference between wines, as long as they were first passed through Anna. But by then, his career had moved on.

Don’t worry. If you didn’t look, you have nothing to be terrified about.

Evil twisted former secretary fantasy stuff

Well that’s a relief. The rumour around the office was that the woman doing these evaluations was a real man-hater who took pleasure in humiliating male staff.

Times are hard, you need the money and she hates the taste of semen. It’s perfect.

*IMWO = In My Worthless Opinion. I’m trying to start a meme, here.

Another rather unimaginative headline featuring femdom captions

With a big hello to search engines from all over.

Now, after a headline like that, I suppose there had better be some captioned images of female domination, hadn’t there?

But also more enjoyable for her. There’s always an upside.

So with this one I – ow! – excuse me, I was just – OOH! – I’m sorry, I really…ohhhh that hurts!…need to move on to the next. No caption here.

OW! No better!

Right. Think calm thoughts. It’s funny – we give our cat the stuff in tins as a treat, and the dry biscuity stuff for normal food. So when my wife makes me eat the contents of one of the tins, I guess both me and the cat are unhappy about it.

Isn’t it an awful feeling? When you just know you’re going to have an argument. But all arguments end, you know that too. And you’ll be a better husband for it, after all.