murder – Page 10 – Contemplating the divine

My company was charming

Well, what am I supposed to do with the other 38 seconds, then?

Thank goodness she’s looking out for me.

Don’t try to argue or plead your way out of it – it’s one of those Mars/Venus things, you know? She’s got some emotional issues that need to be worked out and until Gerald arrives, you’re the only one she can turn to.

In the femdom community, athlete’s foot is considered an STD.

You’ll notice she hasn’t put the surfboard on the fire yet. Another Mars/Venus moment, yeah? Any ideas why ? Hmm? No? Sigh…because she’s waiting to see if you’ll do it yourself without being specifically asked, you unfeeling brute. Obviously, this relationship is going to need a lot of work.

Miss-judged

I’ve been a very bad wolf.

Actually, there’s a funny story about this one. It turned out there were no fewer than three Miguels on the beach! So as you can imagine things got a little embarassing – and of course we soon ran out of condoms and beer, so I had to run back to the shop. Still, it all worked out OK in the end.

You can cary an orgasm donor card, you know: ‘I want to help someone come when I die’? Not that it really makes much difference, but prior consent is a thing with some people.

I think he’s looking at her funny now. Some men never learn, huh?

And the evening, and the next day too, if need be. One wrist can outlast a great many bottoms, as any schoolmistress will attest.

She’s pure as New York snow

and if you’re lucky I expect she’ll tease you.

I expect she was just joking. Like the castration stuff – you shouldn’t take her too seriously when she says things like that.

Well, OK, as long as I don’t have to try to be brave.

So she should.

It worked on the first seven males she encountered. Not the brightest, human males, are they?

Two lonely people… why not give it a go? What’s the worst that can happen?

Violence is golden

Actually, I understand a day is like a whole beetle year. So in beetle years, you’ve got, what… 6 minutes left, maybe longer? And it’s not like you’ll be dying all in one go, anyway.

I don’t have any secret embarassing thoughts about women. They’re all laid out here, for all to see,

A little food goes a long way in the OWK.

Cherishing’s very important. She’s going to insist on lots of that.

It’s silly to be afraid of the sea, anyway. You know, you can drown in just a few inches of water, right? Especially with handcuffs on. My SO told me that once and likes to remind me of it from time to time.

Unmancipation

When I first started dating my SO, I’d often finish before She had a chance to come, but now things are more under control She typically has oh… two, three…maybe even four hundred orgasms before that happens.

It’s always embarassing when men have to go to what’s basically a girls’ night out, isn’t it? You kind of stand around awkwardly, watching the wives roaring with laughter while you make polite converation about ironing tips and suchlike. Women are just better at social events… it’s because they’ve got more empathy.

Life will be a lot simpler. You can do as she says or starve.

Big decision. Don’t pressure her, OK?

I’m down on my hands and knees. Point me to the broken glass.

Hard-core scorn

Anyway, she can’t chat long. She’s just off to the pet shop. Wants to buy a couple of dogs, apparently.

It’ll be good when you’re married and you can just just be yourself.

I’m gender non-binary. Well.. gender fractional, anyway. About 1/7, my SO reckons.

Forgetfulness?

It’s good to know a domme with a really creative imagination.

Unfair maidens

Or even better news. Depending on what your kink is.

She’s right (she always is) – we men should be able to stand up for ourselves. Being able to sit down without wincing would be nice, too.

He still has two more wishes, of course. If only the ladies could understand his squeaking… I wonder what they would be?

Of course.

They have a very Special Relationship.

Femdommish

Fortunately, the best man’s speech wasn’t as embarassing as these things sometimes are. I guess it’s hard to give a funny speech, when the bride’s sucking you off.

My wife likes to try adventurous sex, in all sorts of different public places. It’s pretty exciting for me, too, when she comes home to tell me all about it.

Well, looks like you won’t be the only man on the gender studies course!

She’s really good at ‘bitter, revengeful ex-girlfriend’ scenes too. But she does charge extra.

I think that’s quite an important point. I mean, just because she tortures unwilling victims to death, that doesn’t mean that’s the only thing you can say about her, you know? She’s a complete human being into lots of different stuff – don’t judge her, OK?

Sing when you’re losing

Boys can do anything girls can do. Just not as well, and usually only after some ‘encouragement’.

If it’s any consolation, the staff at the Re-education camp enjoy scenarios involving punishment, too. Especially with male doms. So there’s that.

It’s like smoking – easier never to start.

Hope that put your mind at rest.

Like I said: not as well and after some encouragement.

Imagine no possessions

It’s easy if you try – and find the right life-partner.

How do you like them apples?

Aww… that’s rather sweet. I hope he’ll be OK after she retires next monh.

I
can’t stand those macho men who boast about the size of their chastity
belts, can you? It’s not the size that matters anyway, it’s what you’re
not allowed to do with it.

Now isn’t that just typical? Something goes wrong and she just assumes it’s Roger’s fault! Maybe the guests got the date wrong, did she think of that? I expect Roger’ll have a few words to say to her, if he can still speak after the whipping. And if she removes the spreader gag, obviously.

Of course, if she’s fully paid up with a lump sum, then the longer he lives, the more it’ll cost the divorcee storage firm. Still, I’m sure they won’t allow thoughts of that to divert them from behaving professionally towards him at all times.

….and just forRalph D: