medical – Page 6 – Contemplating the divine

Pictures of attractive young women saying vaguely threatening things

Just trying out a more literal approach to naming these posts. I have to say, though, I reckon “Attractive young women saying vaguely threatening things” would make a great name for a band.

My muscles are relaxed. The rest of me is suddenly feeling strangely tense.

Romantic moment ahead! No spoilers, but let’s just say this turned out to be the turning point in their relationship. This is when it became serious… really serious.

Don’t worry: she’ll make sure he drinks plenty of liquids too.

Oh, OK. Plenty of time then. She’s not planning to turn it any further until after tea.

I don’t know about you but I just seem to be constantly charging appliances. If it’s not the phone, it’s the shock collar, if it’s not the shock collar it’s the cattle prod. I’m sure life was simpler in the old days. Even on our wedding night… turned out I was supposed to have charged up her vibrator. She wasn’t pleased, I can tell you.

Good harmful fun

…and nothing wrong with that.

They take pain management very seriously.

It’s best to double-check these things. I’ve been on at least two dates which ended up in an argument relating to a confusion between inches and centimetres – and on one of them my so-called ‘date’ actually beat me up.

Obviously, we should be trying to encourage more women to go into STEM subjects. Because technical progress and science are important – so best not left to morons.

That’s a relief. I was worried.

It just shows I’m a red-hot lurrve machine, surely?

Lady’s man

I certainly am… well, a lady’s boy, anyway.

There’s nothing like standing in the corner with a well-smacked bottom on display to give you a sense of perspective.

Her fees are reasonable. She isn’t, I’m glad to say.

I tried calling the NHS helpline once, because I thought it would be a turn-on to ask a nurse all sorts of questions about the safety of enemas and how to deal with unwanted erections. The nurse I ended up speaking to was very sympathetic and started taking me through all of the details – but I must somehow have let on that I was just phoning for the sexual turn-on, so it got a bit embarassing after that. Anyway, he was very nice and we’ve agreed to meet up some time after lockdown ends, so that ended well.

Sometimes a session starts badly, but I find when that happens the best thing to do is put it behind me and try to enjoy myself, anyway.

Wearing a shock collar can give you a sense of perspective too… along with a lot of very unpleasant electric shocks, obviously.

The thing

You know – the thing that’s going on. That thing. Here are some hurriedly thrown together captions about the thing.

You see, it’s just like I always say. Everything is femdom.

Even the thing.

So… those are my captions about the thing. Now, as I’m just sitting around at home all day, these days, I’ll just get back to reading the Trip to Matilda’s story on Freddie’s blog. Which I am enjoying a lot, actually. You might too, who knows? Only one way to find out, isn’t there?

Cries of pain are music for her banquet

A quote, or nearly so, from George Eliot, who shamefully had to pretend to be a man to get published. What an embarassment that must be, for a woman. Do you suppose she had to make spelling mistakes, miss deadlines and generally dumb down in correspondence with her publisher, just to appear authetically male?

Still, the quotation is rather a lovely image, isn’t it? Here are some more.

Her impotence treatment works every time – it’s a remarkable medical breakthrough, actually.

She seems nice. What a shame you’re nothing special. Better luck in Somalia.

She’s such a sweet person, wouldn’t hurt a fly in real life. Still: she’ll flog him bloody and then piss on the wounds, because that’s the kind of professional she is. Then go and have dinner with Dave and maybe a cuddle before bed.

Castration manga is actually a great way to interest girls in comic books, because it’s using the medium to speak to issues that concern them as women, you know? Also: it’s just a lot of fun, obviously.

He was quite fat when they started training him. Still some way off the target weight of zero that they are aiming for, but he’ll get there. In fact, he’s going to lose a whole bunch of weight all in one go next Thursday: they just haven’t told him yet.

Goodwill to all women

It’s that very special time of year. The holly and the ivy… both actually almost as unpleasant-tasting as all the pine needles I have to eat off the floor, but it’s a tradition and I can’t argue with that.

Nothing particularly Christmassy about today’s captions, though – just the usual rubbish.

I’m going to have a go at writing some snip-lit some day. They say write what you know.

When we engage in medical roleply, my SO likes to use actual medicines. She gets a friend who works in a hospital to give her stuff that they’re throwing out because it’s near its expiry date. Says it makes it more realistic. I don’t suppose there’s any harm in it.

My wife came multiple times on our wedding night, I’m told.

She read somewhere that husbands and wives should always agree on financial decisions, so she wanted to make sure he was OK with it first.


The video basically just consists of cut-scenes. (Sorry, sometimes I can’t help myself)

Deeply indebted to her

…but she sometimes lets me off the monthly interest if I consent to one of the ‘special’ games she likes to play. It’s quite an incentive to keep the payments up, actually.

Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve heard you can see the sea from the bar they’re planning to spend the afternoon in, so I’m sure they’ll notice if the tide comes a bit further up than they were expecting.

Hmmm… it’s almost like they’re in a – what’s the word? Predicament.

What can it mean? I don’t know… I just work here.

Consent is very important in BDSM. My SO absolutely insists on it.

Ah well. Nearly got a freebie there. You know… I was playing SPH humiliation scenes years before I knew that was a thing. I just called it ‘dating’.

It gives me a sense of enormous well-being

Know what I mean? Warning: vanilla video after link that has nothing to do with femdom and is thoroughly safe for work. Do not click if that sort of thing offends you.

And they say sex offenders have nothing to contribute to society!

… and don’t even think about the matinee on Saturday…

It’s particularly cheap for fit young men, if they let her do it without any anaesthetic.

When I was a teenager I used to have this dread that girls would be turned off by my very small penis and would refuse to have sex with me. Silly really, now I look back on it. The very first girl I ever went out with explained that penis size is just irrelevant – for someone with a face as ugly as mine and such an tedious personality. So that was a relief.

It’s completely irrational to be scared of spiders. Spiders can’t really hurt you*. Girls, yes: they can hurt you**. Be scared of girls. But not spiders.

* Except in Australia
** Especially in Australia.

The strength of a woman

You know, I’ve forgotten what I was going to ask about now. Often happens. Oh well.

Remarkably, with that sniper rifle she can give herself an orgasm with an man who is anything up to a kilometre away.

Medical opinion is divided on the advisability of gagging castration patients during their operations. On the one hand, there are those who say it’s best to shut the bastards up; but on the other, there are surgeons who get off on the screaming. The debate continues, in the medical journals.

First dates can often be a bit embarassing… just go with it.

Busy busy.

The seven stages

Denial
Anger
Indiferent denial, with a warning
Bargaining
Denial with retribution
Desperate pleading
Amused denial

You can get an app for it too. Every day, it doesn’t remind you.

He thought if he told them he was a vicar they’d go easy on him. He was wrong. My friend who’s an investment banker had a similar experience but much, much worse.

Fortunately, the balls don’t feel like the same thing either. No more worrying about that knee! But there are other things to worry about…

I didn’t understand why it had to be so wide, but then I met Richard.

It’s a ridiculous fantasy, of course. You can’t just chop a man in half and then attach his dismembered body to separate halves of a sex doll. Well… you can, obviously, but not so he continues to live. You’d think she’d have realised that after six tries, the silly thing.