Category: laundry

Hell hath no fury like a woman…

…does.

Men don’t really understand stuff like that, unless it’s slapped into them.
It’s a symbolic denial of heterosexuality, you see. And a rather practical and concrete physical one too, of course.
Actually, of course, lady Vikings didn’t usually go raiding. No: they waited at home, standing there tapping their feet and idly stroking their whips as their apologetic husbands returned with more meagre and unsatisfactory booty. There is a reason Vikings were so fierce, you know.
Of course, it doesn’t take the human element out completely – it can’t whip you, for instance.
Thank goodness for that. She must have been quite distraught.
Even if you’re sure it’s not yours (and let’s face it – in your condition, you can be reasonably confident it isn’t, right?) it’s polite to offer to lick it off.

At her…

  • feet
  • beck and call
  • convenience
  • command
  • disposal

… choose your own ending. Or ask someone from a more competent sex to choose for you.

She’s a firm believer in forgiveness, once the necessary corrective measures have been taken.
I myself have never paid for sex. Quite the opposite, if anything.
Maybe he enjoys obsessing about it. Let’s hope so because I suspect he’ll be doing a lot of that.
I can’t imagine why she thinks she needs her hockey stick – it’s not as if the teacher’s likely to change his mind about any of his decisions, even if she gives him a demonstration.
Maybe she was a little dismissive, but there are global news organisations in the room. Not every day a supermodel shares a new bra and they have front pages and newsflash segments to fill.
Clever Mistress Eleise knows lots of magic tricks. A male ego can be made to disappear forever, for instance, with nothing more than a simple raised eyebrow and the hint of a smile.

Fortune favours the meek

And don’t worry – any time that warm glow seems about to fade, she’ll be happy to renew it.
Initially, the OWK ladies were disappointed with their paint-ball set, as through an unfortunate (and thoroughly rectified) translation error, they’d understood they were getting ‘pain balls’. Fortunately, there’s not much difference at close enough range.
Hell hath no fury like a goddess having to collect her own laundry.
Kate’s a professional. Although the realisation she was actually delivering electric shocks to a helpless victim moved her emotionally, she didn’t let those feelings interfere with the filming.
Stick insect may not have a lot of flesh to be marked, but rest assured it will all be throbbing with red angry weals by the time the photoshoot’s finished.
It’s so easily done. Plenty more where he came from, though.

Strictly controlled

It’s actually an important sign of how well a relationship is developing, when a couple can both be in the bathroom at the same time without embarassment. I can still remember the first time the woman who became my SO came into the bathroom to pee, while I was there. I wanted to leave, but I was much too firmly tied in position to go anywhere, and as the ring gag prevented me saying anything, I just had to lie there while she did her business – which I found quite distasteful at the time, but it was the first of many such intimate moments and nowadays it just seems routine.
But if you don’t, then there’s ‘fear of missing out’ so really you don’t have any easy options.
It takes a lot of control and self-discipline to be a ballerina, so laundry boy’s going to have to up his standards to meet theirs. Good of so many of them to make the effort to help help him see how he needs to improve, especially after a long hard rehearsal.
Ironically enough, she actually does believe that all men should be treated equally and with exactly the same degree of dignity.
Don’t worry: Sami won’t do anything unless her owner lets her.
My own subconscious often seeks out brutal punishment beatings, usually by making me behave in an “irritating” manner without any conscious intent to do so. Funny things, minds. Even male ones, which must be relatively simple.

Trunign ponts

Whatever…

Number 42 in the series, apparently! How many roads must a man walk down before he reaches a turning point, eh? OK, one, I suppose, as if he was on a second road he would presumably already have passed a turning point. OK, so not a good analogy, but you see what I’m trying to say here, right? Erm… anyway, I’ll just get on with the not-quite-femdom captions, now.

Nonsensical sex

More of these.

Aren’t you just the perfect host? Sorry, I meant pervert. The pervert host.
I always get so excited on Pervemas morning, waiting to be unwrapped.
I don’t know what they pay those sweatboys for. Oh, don’t they? Oh, OK. Even so, there’s no excuse for not doing a professional job.
I don’t know what it is about the phrase “Purely routine anal probe” but I feel (deep inside me) it’s not used enough in our own world.
Although everyone says that no one carries coins these days, public shining posts like this one (like the many coin-operated public lavatories you can still find chained up with gaping mouths in Pervworld) often end the day with a rectum uncomfortably full of change.
It’s a lot greener than most other forms of transport, especially since a lot of their fodder is recycled.

Louring ladies

Don’t worry, lots of bridegrooms… no, hang on. Do worry.
This is her ‘girlfriend experience’ service and if you ask me, it’s startlingly realistic.
I used to think I was my own worst enemy, but my SO managed to wean me off those self-loathing thoughts by listing all the people (or at least, the top twenty among our close friends) who loathe me even more.
Good night, sweet princess.
You don’t need motivating, as you’ll be strapped down and helpless.
They serve coffee too – and water to help settle the boys’ stomachs, but most Mistresses prefer them unsettled.

Unselfish cruelty

Oh, OK. I’d previously always been told it was barely noticeable.
I dream an impossible dream about unfair maidens.
Oh dear. The poor thing. There is actually one little untruth in the account above – despite being so much younger than her poor dead husband, she’s actually more sexually experienced than him, as it happens. But I don’t think those kinds of prurient detail need to come out in court, do you? She’s suffered enough.
Lots of things are handwash-only, these days. For others, I’m allowed to use my mouth too.
I once tried sewing some pads into the base of some shorts I often wear around the house. Of course my SO discovered the ruse… and she was very unhappy about it. As she explained, it not only diminished the efefctiveness of any disciplinary measures she saw fit to impose, it also demonstrated ungratitude for all the efforts she makes. She was quite upset – and after she’d explained the point at length, I really felt her pain and I felt bad about it for a long time afterwards too. Don’t do it, guys.
I guess he got the good genes. And now he’ll have the chance to put some of them inside her.

Oh, and as you’re still here, a couple of links. Not ‘found femdom’ exactly (I think of that as being things in mainstream culture that hit our weirdly-situated buttons), as these are both from professional dominatrices but both are very lovely things that caught my eye.

First, the rather wonderful Domina M has taken to posting free videos on her web site. For the avoidance of doubt, the ‘rather’ in that sentence should be read as British delberate understatement to mean ‘absolutely, fantastically, brilliantly’ wonderful. All the videos are great. Rather cleverly (if I understand correctly), the latest one can be accessed directly, the full set need registration of an email address but are free.

More briefly, I thought this was delightful, reminiscent of course of that Orwell quote: “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” But more fun than a 1940s vision of a Stalinist totalitarian Britain.

Emotional stupidity

In case you’re wondering why I am posting on a Thursday instead of the usual Friday, the answer is ‘rank incompetence – the idiot’s not even able to read a calendar properly, for goodness’ sake!’.

They say great art is 90% perspiration.
She’s a specialist in pain management.
Nice clean shoes – good job! Now, let’s have that chat.
Thank goodness they reminded him – how embarassing it would have been to have had to admit he’d forgotten the anniversay again.
Surprisingly unsurprisingly “People for the Ethical Treatment of Paypigs” just isn’t a thing.
She seems nice. My SO taught me the right way to do laundry by just whipping me without explanation every time it wasn’t right. We got there, but it was a lot of work for her, poor thing.

Superior wisdom

Every idea I’ve ever had is above my station, I reckon.
Good thing someone thought to bring clothespegs.
Yes. If the pain’s too much, she definitely wants to know, OK?
She can make quite a persuasive argument. In fact, I’m hooked already.
They shouldn’t worry too much. The mistresses there mostly aren’t into heavy pain play. Not with female subs. And with male subs it’s not really ‘play’ anyway.
Funny how I wanted to say “No. No there isn’t! And there won’t be any more coffee for another couple of months! How do you like that you… you…” But it came out as “No, I think that was the last, darling. Shall I make some fresh?”
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