feelings of utter inadequacy – Page 4 – Contemplating the divine

Dealing with feelings of sexual inadequacy

Here are some ladies who know exactly how to do that.

I find it quite hard to find condoms in my size, actually. I used to think it was because I was so unusually small, but actually a kindly pharmacist once explained to me that there are quite a lot of men this small – it’s just that they never get to have any sex, so there’s not much of a market for condom makers. That made me feel a lot better.

Actually, that sort of failure rarely happens to me. I usually find I can make women laugh, one way or another.

I wouldn’t recommend a visit to the Young Goddess site these days, unless you’re really into self-loathing, as the guy who ran it got religion and decided that all of this is sinful. Which of course, it is. Still…I guess that means he’s relinquished copyright on everything?

Sorry. Too embarassing a memory to talk about. Move on please, move on.

That Raoul. I’m sure he’s cheating on her. Last time, I bought eight condoms and when I came round the next day to clean up, I only found six that he’d used. Men can be such beasts…I don’t know what she sees in him.

She had to have the last one put down. He was just too yappy. It wasn’t an easy decision, though, and she made the mistake of looking back and catching his eye when she left him at the vet for the last time. A tear or two was shed that night, I can tell you, as she thought of him alone in his cage at the vet’s waiting for the lethal injection the next morning. But she’s sure it was for the best.

Quite a combination, there, Mistress T of Vancouver to the left, Goddess Lexi Sindel to the right, and Mistress Mina Thorne in the middle. [With thanks to commenters for one identification]

Rewards and punishments

Sometimes it’s difficult to tell them apart, don’t you think?

And thanks to rote learning, they know a lot of very long poems in Norwegian, word-perfect, off by heart. Sadly, they don’t know what any of those words mean.

The wonderful, severe (and wonderfully severe) Cassie Hunter, or “The Hunteress”.

Do you sense she might be losing interest in the sexual side of this marriage?

Don’t worry. She’ll have time to get away, when the acid starts gushing out. Even in those high heels – she’ll be fine.

Oh well.

I don’t know the original source (something about it says “German” to me…), but I got this from the She is in charge tumblr.

[Edited: Paltego in the comments has kindly pointed out that this is Lady Ramirez, to be found at www.ladyramirez.com. So – at least we know who she is. As for the other… well we know he’s not Dave (or was it Dennis?) but otherwise the field’s wide open.]

Having your mouth full most of the time will probably help prevent you forming deep emotional attachments too.

Office relationships are complicated

Oh! Well, ermm… I mean I’m flattered obviously,
but..

No,
no, it’s not that I’m doing anything else, it’s just that…

Well,
as we’re going to be working together I took the liberty of looking you up on
ratemyboyfriend.com. And it –

– oh, it’s a sort of dating information
site. Women-only. It’s very popular
just now. Most men are in it –

Anyway,
I was looking you up on that and you’re in the five inches or fewer category, you see, and I just think I like to have a slightly larger
penis than yours, if you don’t mind. You
know – I mean I could live with six inches or even a bit less, but…

Sure,
no problem at all. Nothing personal, I
hope you weren’t offended?

Great. Actually, I don’t think it would work out
anyway. I tend to like to go a few
times, so I look for an average of at least three or more per night, and yours
is only 0.6. I guess it doesn’t always
work? I know there are some women who
don’t mind that. But I do.

Oh – and the thing you like to do with the sweaty
trainers? I’m afraid I’m just not
into –

Hmm? Who? Oh, someone called Cindy I think. Probably not her real name. Prostitutes rarely provide them. It was only last Tuesday anyway, so you must
remember –

Sure! Sure, we’ll say no more about it. See you in the team meeting tomorrow! Have a good evening!

Out with the old, in with the new

New year, new…well, more…of the same sort of really…captioned images of female domination!

Obviously.

Sigh. Back to it.

My Significant Other reckons some people over-complicate chastity play. You lock someone up – he’s in chastity. Job done, and you can get on with your life.

Actually, I think one of them has a Girl Guides first aid qualification.

The problem being, of course, that Madame Sarka likes the cooked meat arranged in a gentle curve. And she’s not as lenient.

Independent thought is over-rated. Just take the pill.

It’s best not to worry too much about what people think of you, I find.

New Year resolutions

To mark the passing of the old year, and the beginning of the new, I decided to ask all of the ladies who regularly appear on Contemplating the Divine to share their New Year resolutions with our ‘readers’.

Most of them just told me to fuck off and die, of course, but here are the contributions from those who did not. Oh – and believe me, when these ladies resolve to do something, it does get done.

Apparently I’m going to have some New Year resolutions too, but She hasn’t told me what they are yet. Quite exciting!

,,,and last but always first in my heart…

Awe and shock

They operate a performance management system of penalties and rewards. If you perform badly, you’re punished severely. If you perform well, you’re punished a bit less severely. Probably.

Actually, I have a chapter about dealing with this sort of rejection in my new self-help book, called She’s just not that into you – because you’re a sad little weirdo with a tiny cock.

All sorts of ways that conversation could go. “What key?” would be a bad thing to hear, for instance.

Enjoy.

It’s a good thing someone’s got willpower, anyway.

Kept

I’d like to be.

“Keep”:

to have or retain possession of
to remain or cause to remain in a specified state or condition
to look after or maintain for use, pleasure, etc.
to provide for the upkeep or livelihood of
to support financially, esp in return for sexual favours
to confine or detain or be confined or detained

All of those, please. All of those.

Maybe later you can sneak out, remember the sight of her putting that lipstick on, and howl at the moon.

Such a lot of fuss…

Well, it’s not as if you didn’t have a last orgasm. I mean, one of them has to be. It must have been on your birthday, surely? Oh no, she gave you a tie this year, didn’t she? Well, anyway.

Or, as on this occasion, just decided to leave and make a new life for herself. I expect Ralph will cope OK on his own. He’ll probably forget all about her after a day or two. Dehydration does that.

Woof. Woof woof woof.