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| Obviously. |
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| Don’t worry – you can appeal and if your conviction is overturned, they’ll have to pay compensation. |
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| Mmmm… debt bondage. |
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| It’s good that couples can laugh about these things. |
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| Art for art’s sake. |
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| Ah… the abusive dommie-psycho-mommie scene. Part of every domme’s standard repertoire. And all you need to get started are some wire coathangers. |
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| The previous guy found the smell a bit pungent too. In fact, he said it made him vomit, it was so bad. But I’m sure he was exaggerating. |
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| Everyone knows women all love sitting around having their boots cleaned and then smeared with semen. It’s amazing dommes get away with charging their clients so much to let them do it, really. |
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| It won’t matter to anyone who matters, anyway. |
…and isn’t that great? Warning: safe for work video after the link.
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| But what if he never gets to like it? Hmm. Not sure she’s thought this one through. |
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| Don’t even ask what the chicken mask is for. A magician never gives up her secrets. |
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| Well, he wasn’t treated exactly like that, obviously. Dommes tend to keep their places heated quite well, for one thing, in my experience. |
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| Perhaps he should discuss it with his wife. Or perhaps she should, directly. |
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| He could try offering her all his money. Oh hang on – he did that already. |
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| Gender sensitivity training. I’ve tried and I am very sensitive indeed to women’s concerns. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t benefit from further instruction, obviously. |
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| My domme uses my real name in session these days, but only after she made me change it legally to “Maggotdick”. |
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| No… no problem at all. I’ll just get my coat… |
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| Oh, OK. I thought we’d barely started. Never mind. |
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| Well… it is a big decision to take. So it’s a good thing she’s already taken it. |
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| He’ll probably mess it up, he’s such a moron. Just think what a fool he’ll look, every time he forgets about a release date! Serve him right too. |
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| Some people leave their bodies to science – mine’s going to fashion! Or upholstery, I suppose. |
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| How can this have happened? I mean, for goodness sake, this is the third time this week! |
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| Women, eh? You can’t just straight-out discuss something, she has to set up the whole situation just right to ‘discuss it’. Oh well. Better humour her. |
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| That’s a very wide hole. Still, maybe there are some guys who need that. Not jealous… |
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| Phew. That could have gone quite badly. Remember the time you bought that fur coat in the wrong shade of silver? |
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| I wonder if in the years to come, he’ll regret not having signed more forms? After all, it’s not going to be easy to sign anything, when she’s done with him. |
Makes it all worthwhile (trigger warning: link contains scenes of male equality and ordinary life).
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| Most of the book’s concerned with proper cleaning and ironing of military uniforms. You’ll be discovering a lot about that, later on. Still – first things first. |
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| Dommes in the city. |
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| I think you might be about to experience a consciousness-lowering session. |
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| I’m impressed she’s still got the energy after a 10-hour flight. Stewardesses are amazing, don’t you think? |
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| Because of this, obviously. Pervy lot, architects. |
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| Many men find it a bit of a shock at first, being married. Just try and keep it to no more than 8-10 jolts a day, at moderate settings, and you’ll get used to it soon enough. |
…and an extra one, for Paltego who enjoys photoshoots of dommes playing pool badly:
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| Yes. Someone needs to let her know that you just can’t get a toilet bowl really clean by licking it, either. Will you tell her, or shall I? |
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| Mmmm… nine-and-a-half times the fun! |
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| Your kink is not her kink. Which is just as well, or you’d have to murder her, and think how awful that would be. |
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| Could even have a key-swapping party. Such fun, until someone loses a key and then there’s weeks of recrimination and tears. |
You want to get your money’s worth, after all.
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| I’ve always thought that rubbing cold cream on is kind of disrespectful, you know? I mean, if she’d wanted it to hurt less, she could have done it like that, so it’s almost as if you’re arguing back. |
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| Dommes eh? Will have their little joke. She does that every time, but wise subs will try to laugh each time as if it’s still fresh. |
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| Yes. Trying to rescind a slavery agreement if she doesn’t want to is technically theft, if you think about it. |
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| Sometimes it’s good if a couple are forced closer together by this sort of thing. You might find out how much she really loves you. |
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| There’s got to be a joke here somewhere about tenderising the meat. If I think of one, I’ll get back to you, OK? |