dirndl – Contemplating the divine

Scoldplay

This café’s quiet but it can be quite fun taking a gimp to a busy café terrace. People at neighbouring tables want to know what insulting names you call it, ask if they can slap it, that kind of thing. Good converation starter.

With a monthly subscription it works out at just a few cents per stroke, which is very reasonable. Unlike the ladies who work there.

I suppose we’re all familiar with the trope that a stiletto heel exerts more pressure than an elephant’s foot. Personally, I still think I’d prefer the stiletto but in the event (unlikely, I know, but my SO can be wonderfully creative) that I’m ever trodden on by an elephant, I’ll let you know how it compares.

Queen Patricia always insisted on the importance of hygiene, at OWK. Any new Lady soon learnt that anything dirty, rotting or smelly had to be put promptly into the proper receptacle.

You could spell some of the words out, letter by letter, under the cane. Particularly fun in German. Just ask your Lebensabschnittsgefährterin.

I could be unnecessarily distracted by Anya all day.

… and yet more images of the lovely Jutta Leerdam, inspired by a comment by shorty:

Lovely Cruella shoot there, for once not in an abandoned industrial wasteland but instead an abandoned country house. If you haven’t checked Cruella lately, by the way, you should do: Andy has been fantastically active over the last few months. There must be a female standing over the lazy little sod with a whip because he’s put up lots of free and paid-for (PDFs of magazines) content. And you no longer need the bizarrely unobtainable ‘Cruella Card’ for the latter: just, y’know, money.

You could *try* pushing her boundaries – maybe she’ll crack eventually.

Ladies in red

Title says it all…

It’s a long staircase… plenty of room for more memories. Let’s hope these ones are happier, as she does seem awfully unlucky, the poor thing.

Waste not want not… you’ll be boiling that up with some dirty socks for your supper, later.

I think it’ll be a lot easier. Leaves you more time to concentrate on the things that matter.

If it makes her more comfortable, where’s the harm in it?

Sometimes it can be hard to get to the right answer, but it’s always easier when there’s a woman to tell you what it is.

In German, the verb is always at the end of a sentence which must make for tense conversations with disciplinarians.

She’s got it

And she’s quite prepared to use it, so stop arguing and bend over.

There’s obviously no inherent contradiction in describing something as both ‘a traditional costume’ and ‘a spanking dress’. Just ask the ladies or – when they’ve finished standing in the corner – the men of the Czech Republic.

It’s shocking the state some of these railway station toilets get into. Thank goodness there are public-spirited people like her prepared to step up and do something about it.

At least she mentioned it, first. It’s actually quite offensive, the way so many women consider castrated males’ bodies almost to be public property – just reaching out for a little pat without asking permission.

Ironically enough, those discussions tend to be anything but ‘instant’, often going on for hours.

See, that’s a Mars/Venus thing right there. The male naturally focuses on the physical cause of his pain but the woman looks beyond these trivial mechanical explanations for the underlying *psychological* reason. Like during a beating: it’s not the whip she’s cracking across your back that’s hurting you, it’s your own behaviour.

I have follow-up questions… Let’s hope she doesn’t consider them impertinent – oh, who am I kidding? Let’s hope she does.

Power and glory

For ever and ever…

Oi – don’t you know it’s rude to listen in on other people’s phone calls? It’s the taste of her shoes you’re paying for, not her private life.

It would have been a messy divorce. This solution is much neater.

Cum is actually quite healthy – very low fat. Just ask anyone who’s had to try to survive on a diet of nothing else.

Oh well, it’ll make a refreshing change to stand in a different corner afterwards.

My own wedding night was exhausting, I have to confess. 60 guests can leave a lot of mess.

Denying agency

This is a concept from ethical philiosophy, apparently, that involves treating someone as a child, unable to make decisions for themselves. I must say, it sounds rather nice, but I myself have never specifically been denied agency, because I have never dared ask for it.

On we go.

One of the secrets of a happy marriage: hinted at right there. It’s not that there will never be arguments – obviously all couples have them – just that they be treated as ‘tantrums’.

She allows her boys an average of 10 orgasms a year – so this treatment doesn’t happen very often.

That’s the only downside of castration: it can lead to a loss of important male functions, such as feeling unbearable pain.

Don’t worry: if you’re not enjoying it, just tell her, OK? She likes to know.

It can be quite hard to break ingrained habits, so don’t worry if you don’t manage it on your own. Once you’re married, she can help – the two of you are a team from now on, after all.

Thirty years of hurt (but this time with Lionesses)

So, after all these years of being told that football’s just a silly game in which a bunch of moronic boys chase a ball around in a field and surely I’m not asking to be allowed to put the ironing off just to watch that nonsense, apparently it’s a remarkable display of female skill, grace and power. Who knew? Well, my SO did, obviously, and now I do because she’s told me and that’s that.

Personally I’m not so much interested in the football itself as ~~in the players’ muddy boots and sweaty sock~~s in the fact that we are now officially all allowed to cheer ourselves silly(er) for a team called ‘The Lionesses’. That I do like, rather a lot.

It’s coming home. Unless the Lionesses lose on Sunday, obviously, in which case it’s going somewhere else. [UPDATE: They did. It is.]

Anyway, back to the depressing porn.

He did start by getting down on one knee, but it wasn’t enough.

I find the most effective humiliation scenes are the unexpected ones – for instance, when you think you’re just going on a vanilla date, but the woman intuitively senses that you’re into humiliation, so mocks and belittles you in front of your friends, then slaps you and walks off laughing, leaving you to pay the bill. Yeah, that’s a good one. How do they know?

She has some lederhosen for you, seeing as you’ve expressed such an interest in leather.

See how Mistress Vixen is keeping a straight back, there? That’s very important: it’s so easy to develop back problems in later life if you don’t sit right. Very sensible.

I have posted this before, but ‘too few’ is always the number of times I have done that, so here’s the lovely Mistress Vixen playing the piano.

Yeah, you can relax now the ceremony’s over and just enjoy the honeymoon – and the rest of your life.

Feminine tuition

Men can learn a lot from women, especially if they are willing to step out of their comfort zones and bend over to learn something new.

Certainly not heartless – as a matter of fact she applies herself to her work with full-hearted passion, as you might discover.

I started experiencing periods of impotence soon after meeting my SO – apparently it happens to a lot of men. Pleading sometimes helps.

It’s a long-standing tradition so I hope you’ll approach it – and her – with due respect.

OK, that’s cleared that up. Still doesn’t explain why they all call you ‘Seaman’ though, as that rank hasn’t been used in almost a century.

To remember him, she kept a little spiked penis ring she’d had made for him with the words “Mistress Anne is my goddess not a sex fantasy” engraved around it, but she had to put it away in a drawer as it kept making her feel sad.

Charming savagery

Of course, it’s not actually a threesome if only two get to come… maybe you’d better explain that to them.

Perhaps you could learn German instead. I hear she offers lessons.

They also serve who only stand and wait.

The next bit might not be entirely consensual and safe, truth be told, but who really cares?

Always a bit tricky when she really does want to discuss it rather than just to ‘discuss it’. Like many subs I prefer to keep my side of the conversation to profuse thanks and occasional bouts of crying, when being spanked, but my preferences rarely if ever enter into it.

NB, tonight the Servitor household are packing up the whips, canes and portable travel-cage to head off for two weeks of sun, sea, sand and sadism. Long term readers, who were here in the days before The Thing will know what this means…