cuckold – Page 8 – Contemplating the divine

Inferior sex

It’s the only kind I’ve ever provided, according to my SO. Although how she can come to such a firm judgement after only one (barely even one, technically speaking) occasion escapes me. Oh well.

Dommes can be surprisingly clumsy, for such elegant goddesses. I once spent a few hours tied to a cross on the floor of a BDSM club and it was just astonishing how many ladies managed to walk into me. And all from the same direction.

It’ll be all right on the day. She’ll make sure of that.

If you read that caption and ended up feeling almost unbearable envy for Pookie, then you’re in the right place.

The lovely Maya Sin, who once slapped and humiliated Servitor for a few hours, providing much-needed certainty. She seems temporarily(?) to have disappeared from the Internet but here is a page about her.

All of them? Or should they come up in threes?

She had the right to remain silent, but I understand she waived it.

It’s savage and it’s cruel

And it shines like destruction. Mistress Lennox, of course, and her beardy boy.

There’s an important difference. Voyeurs get sexual gratification from watching other people have sex, while humiliation freaks get sexual gratification from not getting sexual gratification.

Unlike many wives, his wife doesn’t at all mind his going to strip clubs and suchlike with his mates. She must be very open-minded.

Actually, I’m feeling a bit queasy. Is that supposed to happen?

Easy mistake to make: most of their ponies are geldings already. Surprising he’s lasted this long, really. Maybe they’ve been busy.

Oh well. It doesn’t hurt to ask, as long as she’s in a good mood.

She’s right, you know

She just is.

My
SO once told me that it was on our honeymoon that I gave her the best
sex she’s ever experienced. Which is a bit of luck, really, as you
never know what you’re going to get when you’re in a foreign place and
you don’t know the escort agencies well.

It’s only fair: she took his electric razor, when they split up, I understand.

Got there eventually. Well done. Now let’s talk about ironing pleats.

Don’t worry: he won’t allow himself to be improperly influenced. Properly influenced, yes, certainly, possibly even vigorously influenced. But no more than that.

Women, eh? Sometimes you’re supposed to scream in agony, sometimes you’re supposed to stay silent. How are we supposed to know? I mean, unless they use ball-gags and stuff.

Unnecessary cruelty

But the world would be a grey and soul-less place if we only did things that were strictly ‘necessary’, don’t you think? Sometimes we have to live a little.

Her leadership style is simultaneously ‘top down’ and ‘bottom up’ if you can imagine such a thing.*

He thought she’d bought them to present him masturbating. But that turned out to be the other package she’d had delivered, the heavier one.

Financial domination is a rapidly-growing segment of the economy, in these difficult times. It’s just a more efficient way of giving money to superior ladies, without having to go through all the nonsense of dressing up in fetish clothes, meeting them in person or in any way bothering them.

When you’ve had enough things slapsplained, oddly enough, you actually find it increasingly difficult to retain information that has been imparted any other way. After a really effective slapsplaining session, for instance, I am usually very well informed on the specific matter under discussion, but find it hard to remember my own name or where I am.

Why not both? Freak pays and fucks off. It’s a win-win-lose, which sounds ideal.

* Very, very long-term readers might notice that I made this joke once before, around 2012 or so, to which I can only reply ‘Have you ever considered getting a life?’**

** My own is largely unused, if anyone wants it.

Society for the Promotion of Cruelty

Possibly insufficient levels of whatever hormone it is induces feelings of terror, too.

I once paid for this stunningly beautiful escort to go with me to a party. She was supposed to laugh at my jokes but I think her agency must have messed things up because in the event, she laughed at everything except my jokes. Still, it was lovely being with her, at least until she got off with my best friend and abandoned me. Quite expensive, though.

Looks cosy.

It’s the sound of one hand clapping.

This the lovely Amy Hunter, who once left me battered, bruised and happy. She has startlingly blue eyes and a startlingly painful tawsing technique too.

It’s funny how dommes constantly insist on being thanked for stuff like this. Do you think maybe they have self-esteem issues?

An orderly marriage

Without question.

Good. Can’t wait for my consciousness to be raised.

10 is the new 8? You know, just the other week my SO was caning me and I thought we’d finished but she announced that 12 was the new 6! I don’t know… when I learnt maths in school it all seemed a lot simpler than that. You just held your hand out and counted until she was finished.

Actually, the vicar turned up on time and I have to say: he was quite cross to see what was happening on top of his altar! So that was a bit embarassing, but the rest of the wedding day passed off smoothly. The night didn’t go so well, unfortunately, but thank goodness Sven was there too or I think things would really have been difficult.

If I manage to find a copy of the video, I’ll share it with you. I’ve never actually posted a funny cat video – must be the only blog on the Internet not to have done so.

Never say never again

Please? Please don’t say that. I’ll be good, I promise. I –

Its ridiculous really. If she wants a curvy cock, what does she think this is, neatly tucked away in the tube around my scrotum? Women, eh?

He’ll be thanking her particularly fulsomely.*

Maybe I could have sex in the fields? When the weather’s a bit warmer, obviously.

I wonder what the question was… Honestly, who writes these things? Why be so obscure?

And new things about bears. I’ve heard they shit in the… anyway, I’m sure you’ll have a very interesting time.

* ‘Fulsome’ is a word often mis-used to mean ‘complete’ or ‘enthusiastic’ when in fact it means ‘excessively flattering or insincerely earnest’. I once emailed a domme I was visiting, expresing my ‘fulsome’ thanks for my treatment in our last session, to be greeted next time by a Mistress holding a dictionary and a cane.

Begging the question

It’s usually “May I? Please Mistress?”

Typical. She remembered to pack plenty of condoms for her own sexual pleasure, didn’t she? But didn’t think to bring just one little key. Honestly: if I’m permitted speaking rights at any point during this trip, I’m going to give her a piece of my mind!

Many people get uncomfortable at the idea of public humiliation scenes, which impose your own sexuality on random strangers without their consent. But in this case, she made you go around asking everyone in the cafe if they were OK with watching you being humiliated for sexual kicks, so that’s all right.

Actually, the neighbours wouldn’t mind. They never liked him. But it’s thoughtful of her to think of them.

‘Fool around’? Who says that, these days? Why do people in porn talk so weirdly?

Can’t argue with the science.

First footing

This is a British – mainly Scottish – custom, which might not be understood by readers from the rest of the world. It refers to the first foot-worship session of the new year (or, in the rougher parts of Glasgow, the first ball-busting session of the new year).

It is considered a great sign of good luck to first-foot a domme, having previously negotiated her complicated booking form and waited for several days wondering whether or not it would be appropriate to send a respectful reminder. If granted an audience, and having sent the deposit at least a week before and a text confirming, on the day, the first-footer arrives precisely two minutes before the time of the appointment bringing gifts – sometimes Champagne, gifts of expensive lingerie or other stuff that she has identified on her wishlist (but not anything else) – and also, most crucially, an unsealed envelope stuffed with cash.

Traditionally, the first-footer is greeted warmly by the domme, while stuttering in embarassment, and proceeds to a session in which she makes sure he gets at least some, but not all, of the rather random stuff he wrote about in his email or on her booking form. Foot massaging will take place in the last half hour or so, and she pretends he’s actually surprisingly good at it. Then the session is brought to a close, in perfect time to finish on the dot, even though she did not look once at a clock. He gets dressed again, offers to help clean up and is politely declined, and makes stilted conversation for a bit, wondering why on earth he was so nervous when he arrived. He then heads off into the night, thinking it a bit weird to be walking among vanilla people with his sore bottom, feeling edgy and decadent, and wondering what they would say if they knew.

So… yeah, OK, it’s not all that different from a regular foot-worship session, to be honest. Unless I forgot to mention the haggis?

Anyway, new year same old… oh, I’ve even done that joke before. Ninth year of the blog! Bloody hell. Don’t any of us have anything better to do?

Kinksters might occasionally be surprised by how ready vanilla folks might be to indulge them in their fetish. I think it’s fair to say, for example, that every girl I’ve ever had a date with has totally been into the idea of chastity play and orgasm denial. In fact, I don’t recall any of them permitting me any sort of sexual activity whatsoever. Guess there’s more kink out there than we assume, huh?

She doesn’t get a lot of repeat business. That’s why she has to charge so much.

It’s important to understand that it’s not gay to give another man a foot massage. Or a blow job.

Wag wag wag wag wag…

You can do anything but don’t come on her brown suede boots.

Domestic tyranny…

… domestic bliss.

They say old age can be like a second childhood.

My SO and I tried something like that but it turned out my boss was gay! Quite an embarassing situation, as you can imagine, but he saw the funny side and actually since then, our working relationship has been closer than ever.

We are.

OK. But always with dignity, yeah?

I think’darling’ must have misread the signals. I don’t have that problem any more, because we only ever go out with my genitals wired up to the electrics. Of course, I don’t get heavy shocks in public but a few little reminders – or an instruction to go off to find a bathroom cubicle for a good zapping – keep me nicely in line. In fact, she’s considering learning morse code.