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| Looks good on her, but then she’s not attached to the wall by a chain clipped to her genitals, desperately gasping for short breaths. |
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| They’re just redistributing the wealth. From each according to how much she wants from him, to each according to whatever the little fucker deserves. |
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| Good thing she had a humiliation session booked later the day she discovered the putrefying remains. |
La la la la lah la la la-lala…
| Maybe they’ll show you what’s in the trunk. Although being British, I find the word ‘boot’ comes more naturally to mind when contemplating this scene. |
| I find my body works much better when I’m being obedient. Less bruised, for one thing. |
| Oh dear. Let’s hope the bank hotline doesn’t keep you waiting for long. |
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| There’s nothing like standing in the corner with a well-smacked bottom on display to give you a sense of perspective. |
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| Her fees are reasonable. She isn’t, I’m glad to say. |
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| Sometimes a session starts badly, but I find when that happens the best thing to do is put it behind me and try to enjoy myself, anyway. |
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| Wearing a shock collar can give you a sense of perspective too… along with a lot of very unpleasant electric shocks, obviously. |
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| I find it’s always easier to tell the truth. The aftermath is sometimes extremely difficult. |
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| I have my pride. At least, I did. Hang on…it’s got to be here somewhere. |
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| By a curious coincidence, I got the cattle prod for ‘last night’ the very second day of my marriage. |
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| I get quite excited about this sort of thing. |
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| Once when I was in hospital I tried out the ‘just a little prick with a needle’ joke* on one of the nurses. But she just looked confused and said “But I’m the one with the needle.” I did feel a fool. |
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| Starting with this. |
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| Makes it all worthwhile. |
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| It’s rather an exciting art form, not least because it needs weekly refreshing. |
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| Life will be a lot simpler. You can do as she says or starve. |
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| Big decision. Don’t pressure her, OK? |
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| I’m down on my hands and knees. Point me to the broken glass. |
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| And don’t worry if you find yourself crying at night, miserable, love-lorn and alone, OK? Cos she’s fine with that too. |
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| You don’t want to be one of those men that just satisifies his own sexual desire and leaves her unfulfilled, do you? No? Didn’t think so. Up you get, then. Don’t forget to scream on the way down. |
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| So many new things to understand in this relationship. The dictionary’s a big help. So’s the shock collar, of course. |
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| What a lovely spanking bench. Don’t you think? |
There’s now conclusive evidence of the harmful effects of looking at porn. These can vary from simple cases of sore knees and light bruising across the face to severe lacerations of the buttocks and intense pain in the genital region. You have been warned…
…but I expect you’re too stupid to do anything about it. I certainly am. On with the show.
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| She’s going to be brave for both of you, OK? |
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| Why would I want a new pair? |
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| Hmmm.. but is he really sorry? |
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| His n hers. |
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| Convenient too. There’s always a queue for the ladies’ loo at a wedding. |