Boxing stupid

Yes, it’s Boxing Day. A day I have come to realise is culturally specific to the UK and a few other places that are a bit like the UK, but not as damp and with fewer bat-tunnels. It’s one of those phrases that non-British people often fail to understand, like ‘having a fag in the back alley’ (you can also be a fag, for an older boy at boarding school, of course); or making sure ‘your child always has a rubber in his schoolbag’, as the teachers don’t provide them, or ‘letting some woman piss in your ring-gagged mouth’, which is just an idiomatic way of saying you’ll take her advice (“Oh, I don’t know which movie to go and see, darling: just ring-gag my jaw wide open and you can piss in my mouth, OK?”)*

Anyway, traditionally a day for tidying up after the excesses of the day before, although some people are more active: many hunts go out on Boxing Day, for example, with whips cracking and horns blaring as they pursure their terrified quarry across the fields, and some hardy souls even have a tradition of jumping naked into the sea, here in Britain on one of the coldest days of the year. My SO has very thoughtfully signed me up for all three of these festive activities, so I’ve no time for a themed post, just the usual dross.

Forget Kurt. Well… don’t forget him, obviously: he still needs his laundy done and his appartment cleaned. But the important thing is that your chastity regime should be right for you and that’s what she’s focused on.
Wow, tough situation! Thank goodness she’s there for him.
Looks like babe brought a pineapple, though, and I’m sure there are some bits of that that could be put to good use.
She was a little disappointed that Dr Taylor insisted on anesthetising you for the procedure, but there’ll be plenty of time later, when you’ll have the feeling restored in all of the bits of your body that remain attached.
I booked a ‘mean date’ session with a sex worker and she didn’t even show up! Wonderful. It’s so rare for someone just to ‘get me’ like that.
Some men find it hard to adapt to a female supremacist work environment, but it’s actually very straightforward as long as you just follow a few simple rules – or a lot of complicated rules, if that’s what she prefers.

* All right, I made that last one up. I make a lot of stuff up, here. But you should try it, I mean you never know, right? And there are never any good movies around, just after Christmas, so it’s good to find alternative ways of entertaining yourselves.

Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive

And the sexiest, too. The quote of course is from dear old Jack, rumoured to have had an interest in all things spanking, but alas only on the dark side. Perhaps he just never met the right woman. Like most Englishmen of a certain age I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and The Magician’s Nephew when I was young and impressionable (I’m now old and impressionable) and believe me, Jadis the White Witch would not have had to proffer much turkish delight to entice me into slavery.

I mean, goodness me…

He went to say that to experience the tyranny he is describing “is to be put on a level of those who have not yet reached the age of reason or those who never will; to be classed with infants, imbeciles, and domestic animals.” Well, indeed. It could almost come from an advert for the English Mansion.

Anyway, I digress. Rather a lot. On with today’s nonsense, which is not particularly CS Lewis-themed except for the usual tag about Mistress Anya – obviously.

Some people recommend dangling from your ankles to help sort out a bad back and I’m sure Princess Neive and Miss Analisa here would be happy to help out with that – and even give him something to think about while he’s dangling there, to help pass the time.
If it’s too difficult to decide, don’t worry: I’m sure she’d be happy to leave the upper bound undefined.
If you don’t like it, just tell her you’re not satisified with the service – go ahead, she’ll make sure your complaint is treated properly.
I hope she does it properly, potting them in the right order.
If ‘small testicle humiliation’ is a thing he’s going to be really good at it.
She believes in trying new things and it’s not as if her supply of boys is going to run out any time soon, so why not?

To make no mistakes is not in the power of man

But fortunately correcting them is in the power of woman.

The only ‘JOI’ I’ve ever needed is “Oh all right, then, I suppose so but be quick and don’t make any mess, OK?”
It is – brutally – simple.
They tend to be nervous, skittish beasts, understandably as they are right at the bottom of the food chain.
If none of them will own up, I guess she’ll just have to beat it out of them. Or at the other extreme, they might be brave and have an ‘I am Spartacus’ moment.
Go on, don’t be churlish. Look: she’s even colour-co-ordinated the accessories.
It’s not the despair. I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand. John Cleese, Clockwise.

At her mercy

If she has any.

It’s all right, he has a desk job so as long as he can basically limp in and his fingers aren’t too bruised to type, it’ll be OK.
Apparently it’s best not to think about it too much. But then, when it happens, it’s hard to think about anything else. Dilemma, really. Where’s all that thoughtlessness that got you into this mess, when you really need it?
I expect the two of them will get a bit jealous, of all five of you down there together.
Don’t worry: she’ll make sure you get what you deserve.
Actually, professional wrestling’s all for show: no one really gets hurt. Of course, as an amateur, that doesn’t apply to you, but it’s nice to know, isn’t it?
I don’t know what she’s talking about; just put this up because I thought the two of them looked pretty.

The flesh is weak

But fortunately steel is a lot stronger.

She can supply both, but usually prefers to dole out only one.
If you’re worried about the client who was abandoned in the cell for so long, don’t be: he’ll be fine. She’ll give him a discounted rate for all that extra time.
It was a labour of love. Which would have caused pages to stick together in the old days of typed manuscripts, but now it’s just a matter of wiping down the keyboard from time to time.
Some couples find it uncomfortable to talk about money, but there are ways of making it easier – romantic, even.
She’s a sweetie really, once you get to know her properly. It’s just a matter of surviving long enough to learn her little ways.
Hopelessly unrealistic. A nun with jewelled rings on her fingers? I don’t think so!

Contemptresses

It’s a very genuine relationship the two of you have; nothing faked here.
Perhaps you could reassure her by explaining it’s your first time being stomped to death, too.
Sounds like she’s doing all the work in this relationship; I hope you are ordered to express your gratitude some time.
If all else fails there’s a surgical solution but that’s only recommended in extreme cases or if a woman requests it.
She’s perfect so she’s determined that your servitude to her should be, too.
I’m sure they’ll make room for her; they’re nice like that.

Unrelated, there is a random bit of vanilla vaguely referencing femdom here. https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2007-07-18 I read the caption and thought… yeah, but what was the one thing?

Now, please, darling

She’s right, of course.
Sometimes Lisa quite likes dealing with the easier cases who break almost immediately, for a change: it gives her a chance to explore some techniques without any pressure. Plus, she enjoys the terrified pleading and screaming.
They’re thinking of making it a compulsory module, so most nurses will have had at least some experience of castrating males. Although they never had any lack of volunteers when it was optional.
Oh, I don’t know. One of my SO’s boyfriends gave me a contempt fuck one day and it was quite memorable.
Or breathe in to hang around abit longer – up to you. She’d rather get on with it, but just this once I think she might let you choose.
It’s obviously been bothering her a lot, poor thing.

You know how you feel at the iron gripe of ruthless oppression…

… you know how you bear the galling sneer of contumelious greatness.

Robert Burns said that. And how right he was, despite being a man. “Contumelious” was new to me: it means an “insulting display of contempt in words or actions; contemptuous or humiliating treatment.” How weird at my age to learn a new word for something I have adored for so long.

The next time I email a domme requesting a session I must remember to ask for ‘contumelious’ treatment. I’m sure she’d be impressed and give me exactly the treatment I need.

Don’t worry – I’m sure she doesn’t mean you.*
That must be very reassuring.
Ah, now I’m afraid I can’t go along with this. Consent is the alpha and omega in a BDSM relationship – never forget that. A few times early in my relationship I withheld consent when my SO was about to punish me and she got bloody furious, believe me. I won’t be making that mistake again.
She missed a trick, there: should have translated it into millimetres. Then it’s quite an impressive number: almost into double figures.
Tsk… no one’s even bothered to clean them. How can she stand putting them on her feet?
What men’s libbers don’t seem to realise is that in being so annoying, they’re reinforcing precisely the stereotypes about male behaviour they get so upset about. But then, if they weren’t so stupid, they probably wouldn’t be libbers in the first place, would they? I think most of them just need to be taken firmly in hand.

* No really. You’re quite different; so you can appreciate this kind of caption ironically, rather than feeling insulted. Anyway, you only read the blog for the jokes, right?

When life gives you lemons…

 …strap him down to a table, clip his eyelids open and squeeze the juice into them.

Too unpleasant for you?  Then you definitely will not want to watch this clip of women (as the title indicates) brutally torturing men to death

No, seriously, you won’t.  That clip is not some kind of happy S&M consensual game, nor are the terrified victims saved at the last minute from the evil torturers (don’t you hate it when that happens in mainstream movies?).  It is possibly the most unpleasant, brutal mainstream clip I have ever seen.  Very nasty stuff.

I mean, who could possibly enjoy that sort of thing?  You’d have to be a truly sick weirdo to get any kind of sexual pleasure from that. Simply horrible, it is.  Vile.

Mmmm.

Anyway, on we go!

 

Some poor sod’s going to have to clean that up, you know.


 

 

‘Non-lethal’ is how I like my femdom play.

 

 

Yes, let’s hope Ellie doesn’t take it out on them.  She’d got a terrible temper, you know.

 

 

 

The people have spoken… the ones wanking online, anyway, and that’s good enough for her.

 

 

 

 

Thank goodness none of that applies to any of us, eh readers?  Imagine the (fully justified) self-loathing you’d have to feel to get off on something like this.


Oral displeasure

I think it’s only fair to point out that this young lady has actually signed a Mistress-Slave agreement ruling out any humiliating D/S play in public.  But not with you.  Go on – don’t keep her waiting.

 

 

 

Or she could put yet another hood over that one.  My SO loves to wrap me in layer after layer of latex hood and we play ‘find the air-hole’, which is a bit like ‘pass the parcel’ but with a strict time limit.

 

 

 

Your feelings do matter, obviously.  Just not to her.  Or Daniel.


 

 

It’ll be fine.  Dr Franley’s patients rarely complain.

 

Don’t get into one of those Mars/Venus misunderstandings by interpreting her words literally, OK?  I mean, she wants a present tomorrow too, obviously.