Category: castration

When you see her, say a prayer and kiss your heart goodbye

She’s trouble, in a word get closer to the fire.  Run faster, her laughter burns you up inside.

Mistress Annie, and her bearded keyboards boy, of course.

She’s very good with pain.


If you don’t want to do that, just tell her.  You could try stamping your little foot and having a tantrum even – you never know, it might work out quite well.


Drill, baby, drill.

It’s funny how men go on and on about themselves and their jobs, but women rarely do.  She should try being more assertive.
This is what a femme fatale really looks like.  Believe me – a long cigarette holder and a slinky dress has nothing on a battery of field artillery.




Male In Name Only

Actually, although it’s a very specialised field of architecture, her fees are fairly low, not least because she doesn’t need to pay any assistants.

 
 
 
 

And they say castratrices have no feelings.

 
 
 
 

If he’s bad at sums, he might need a little thinking time in the corner to get the salary offer right.

 
 
 
 

I’d queue up…

 
 
 
 

I’ve always enjoyed a vigorously bisexual sex life: left or right hand, doesn’t matter to me.
 
 
 

 

Every lady shall be exalted

… and every husband and man shall be laid low.

You have to ask if you want the built-in sliding cucky drawer, though.  It costs extra.

Divorce can be painful.

My apologies to all of those submissive men out there who are highly skilled at housework, and don’t just use it as an excuse to flounce around humiliatingly in a little maid’s dress in session.  Sorry – I mean, both those submissive men…
Also quite a lot bigger.  They can still do SPH play, though. She’s kept his original one in a jar.

Biting’s not the worst of it. Bloody Rufus.  No friend of mine.




Gender imbalance

I won’t give away the ending. Oh all right then, I will.  The book falls off and he gets the crap beaten out of him with a perspex cane. OK?


Now I understand why they make the interns wear shorts.

erm… Translation?  Rotation?  Summation?

I’ve heard that if you insult the waiting staff in some restaurants, they’ll spit into your food. But I just can’t bring myself to be other than grovellingly respectful to a waitress.  What’s a sub to do?



One day she’ll meet Mr Perfect and won’t feel the need to enslave and degrade him.  One day.




Deliver us from freedom

 

It’s a small town, so the walk of shame afterwards will only take you 15 minutes or so.

I had a very traditional upbringing – strict discipline, cold showers, that kind of thing.  It cost about £450 but it was worth every penny and I’m going back in a few weeks for another one.

Goodness, if you can’t trust your cleaner with that sort of trivial responsibility, why would you even let her into the house?
Ahhh male doms.  I think male doms are just great, in their proper place.



Perhaps you’d better approach the bench.


Masculinity is a treatable medical condition.

Look, I do understand the hypocrisy involved in my advancing political opinions, but can I just comment on this view going around that Trump’s election is in some way a consequence of ‘political correctness’?
Trump was elected merely because of a ridiculous quirk in the US electoral system, that might have made sense in the eighteenth century but has no relevance to the modern world: namely, that men are allowed to vote.  The country basically voted 54% to 42% for Clinton, before all those male votes were taken into account and it’s absurd this should have been allowed to distort the result.  Sure, it’s nice to let men feel they can take part, but to actually let them cast ballots unsupervised is just political correctness gone mad, and now we have to live with the consequences.
I mean, honestly, you wouldn’t let a man make decisions about the family finances, or how best to iron your blouse or what time he goes to bed, would you?  So why on earth would you let him have a say in choosing the President?

Doesn’t make sense to me.  But then, I am ‘chromosomally challenged‘* so what do I know?
(* and yes, I am using that politically correct phrase ironically. What’s wrong with just saying ‘a stupid boy‘ for goodness sake?  When did we stop calling things what they are?)
Thank goodness things round here are still sane and matriarchal. 


She seems to be controlling his masculinity problem nicely.
She loves her work.  You will too.



I think she’s recognising that his behaviour has been causing pain in their marriage – but not quite enough pain.







I wonder how the consultant goes about measuring her?





Secondary sexual characteristics – they’re even more annoying than the primary ones, sometimes.  Fortunately, a simple surgical procedure can deal with both at the same time.


Women seem wicked when you’re unwanted

…and isn’t that great?  Warning: safe for work video after the link.

But what if he never gets to like it?  Hmm.  Not sure she’s thought this one through.

 

Don’t even ask what the chicken mask is for. A magician never gives up her secrets.

 
 

Well, he wasn’t treated exactly like that, obviously.  Dommes tend to keep their places heated quite well, for one thing, in my experience.
It’s actually much harder playing ‘guess the object that’s been shoved up the slave’s anus’ in a single-domme session.  Because then you have to do the guessing and ‘hmmm… it’s definitely something that really hurts’ doesn’t narrow it down much.
Perhaps he should discuss it with his wife.  Or perhaps she should, directly.

 

Fun, fun, fun. In the sun, sun, sun.

After last Friday’s shivery Saturnalia, here are some sunny-themed captions to warm the hearts and bottoms of any males spending the long dark winter nights in an unheated kennel.

He could protest.  After all, you need to be careful not to spend too much time in the sun, if you have sensitive skin. On the other hand, you really don’t want to piss these two girls off if you have sensitive skin, either, come to think of it.






Go on.  What have you got to lose?

How about that?  She noticed you!

If it stings him on the penis, it could swell up to three times its normal size.  So, hey – six inches at last!  There’s that to look forward to.

That’s actually not the worst of it.  Just a few months ago, he congratulated the coffee boy at work for being the only person he knew who could make coffee the way he liked it, the way his wife did.  Plus, he’s about to be drowned, of course.  So it’s a bad day all round, really.

Not actually summer, but they are about to get nice and warm.  Twice a day, on a regular cycle.



Bring me to my knees

Mistress Chrissie always does.


Witchcraft? Oh what nonsens

Apparently, they’ve just discovered a new treatment that prevents testicular cancer altogether.  My SO has arranged for me to have it next week – wasn’t that thoughtful of her?
Could be the solution to our over-stretched prison service.  I happen to know several ladies in London who own cells, cages and suchlike – they should get in touch with the Home Office, offer to help out.
She does extras. Tip her enough and she’ll even fake laughing at your jokes.





She’s making mushroom surprise.