caption – Page 69 – Contemplating the divine

A decade of decadence

This blog started on January 26 2011. So it has been almost ten years… and here’s me, with so much ironing still to do.

Nonetheless, it’s true: this blog has been wasting everyone’s time (well… the time of an infinitesimal fraction of the human race) since that long-ago date, with a post titled “Why are we here?”, the answer to which remains obscure 1318 posts later.

I hadn’t originally expected to focus on captioned images. A couple of years before, I had visited a domme for the first time; a lady who was to be the only domme I visited for the next three years. She has now retired and has a vanilla profession so I will say nothing to identify her. At the end of my first – wonderful, life-changing – session she instructed me to write an account of the session, for her web site, which I did and I was immensely proud when she published it. It became a habit, and after a while I also started writing short fiction stories to send her. I think she did genuinely like most of them.

Anyway, I set up the web site to publish those stories, along with any random wittering that might occur to me. I did put up most of them – if you are interested, the easiest way to see them is to download the pdf collections using the ‘Servitor’s femdom stories’ links to the right, there. My wonderful Lady and her lesbian partner feature in them too, under the pseudonyms of Valerie and Sandra. This one perhaps gives the most lifelike impression of her: Take me to your Mistress. But this is my favourite, because of the way it shows the relationship between the two of them: The elves and the dominatrices.

I very soon started producing captioned images as well as stories and… now I’ve published just over 5000 such images, horrifyingly enough. I do occasionally still write stories, but more often when something appears as a story on this blog it’s just a caption that became unfeasibly long. I have over 2000 unpublished captioned images and I produce anything up to another 100 each month, so it’s not stopping any time soon.

So… a great deal of drivel has been produced – and more of it to come. I’m going to put up some of my favourite drivel over the next few days.

We’ll begin with some of the silliest. I get the impression that the silly ones that make me giggle aren’t the most popular. I don’t mind. I like silly. I love to behave in a foolish manner in session and get slapped for it. Let’s get the silliest over with, then it’ll get more sensible as we move towards the actual deciversary (deci-anniversary?).

I love this one. Not just because of the latex-clad lovelies, although they help a lot, it’s true.

Lovely Lexi Sindel.

This
kind of writing is obviously inspired by the Far Side. I do that a
lot. I realise it’s nothing like as funny as the Far Side – and incomparably more
perverted – but inspired from there nonetheless.

See? Again: like Gary Larson but with added obscenity and subtracted wit.

I’ve always liked this one. Sadly, neither of the UK’s two new aircraft carriers will be called HMS Cindy, although I did hear that former President Trump frantically tried to name one of the new US super-carriers the USS Svetlana, for reasons presumably known only to him and the Russian intelligence services.

Very Far Side. Plus testicles.

What a lovely smile. Two lovely smiles.

Sorry about that…couldn’t resist.

‘Oops’ has to be right up there near the top of the list of ‘words you don’t want to hear in session’ . ‘Tarantula’ would be above it, for me anyway.

Would probably have been included in Rule 18 if I’d been doing that back when I made this.

Ooh… edgy. Self-referential and self-loathing too!

I quite like mocking session conventions (see Advice to a Novice etc…).
This caption might have run away from me a bit, but I just love the
idea that a bit of strict schoolmistress play has turned into a
discussion of the annealing process for glass, because of some random
stuff she wrote on the blackboard.

Grrr! Picture from the heyday of Cruella, there. More of those to come.

Could have been any of them.

And, of course…

Girl talk

Boy silent. Nodding is permitted.

Has it really? Goodness, it’s so easy to lose track of time. It feels like it was only yesterday.

Forgive it magnanimously? No? Oh well.

Dommes undertaking electrical play should ensure that some thick non-conducting material is in constant contact with any electrodes. Males work fine.

It’s not a very big tube but it’s just large enough.

Funny how failures to communicate always involve me misunderstanding her and never the other way around. Of course, the fact that I’m rarely allowed to speak could be a contributing factor.

Unforced feminisation

My SO looked a bit worried when I asked her to ‘feminise’ me. She gently explained that no matter how hard I tried, I’d never make a convincing woman. Even if I were to try to mimic feminine behaviour such as intelligence, competence, courage and leadership, I simply could not get away with it. So obviously she was immensely relieved when I explained that all I meant was that I wanted to be dressed in a frilly pink dress and ordered to flounce around with a pout on my excessively made-up face. I was soon happily across her lap having my naughty little knickered bottom spanked and shrieking like a little girl, so that was all right.

I don’t think I’d want to be a real woman anyway. Too much responsibility. And not enough chores.

Don’t you just hate it when you’re sent off to play with other sissies? They can be so self-centred and immature. I’d rather just flounce about in front of Mistress, showing off my frillies. Perhaps I should try having a tantrum about it.

She looks lovely in it. And you’ll look lovely ironing it, too.

Actually, quite a lot of things taste a bit shoey to me right now, but that’s because for obvious health reasons I’m wearing the mask she made me most of the time, so it’s if the world were made of stinky socks. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing…

Don’t worry about looking foolish when you’re doing the little dance. Most of the passers-by probably won’t know what the moves and actions are supposed to be anyway. I’m sure they’ll find it amusing, though, and that’s the most important thing.

Rather like me, this gentleman makes an unconvincing woman, exhibiting as he does stereotypical male behaviour such as whining, laziness and cowardliness. Fortunately, Her Maj has ways of dealing with those.

Maybe I’m just stupid

I thought we’d got it sorted. (NB: link is not femdom-related, unless you have the same sorts of fantasies about Louise Wener as I do).

Ah, those far off heterosexual days.

The game of ‘fetch’ is actually harder than it looks.

Once she’d explained her idea, they agreed that it was safe. Not consensual – obviously – and quite possibly not sane, but safe enough, probably, so they just decided to go for it.

He’s lucky. My
SO usually decides I’m too busy to take even 15 seconds out of my busy
schedule and of course I have to agree with her about that.

I think she’s right: she probably should have used a different bat. But those big heavy ones have their uses, too.

Whatever she likes, whenever she says

Honestly, imagining bothering her about a little thing like that.

Oh well…wouldn’t want to disappoint Suzie, would we?

Obviously, you are allowed to have opinions, even as her husband, as long as they’re the right ones.

…unless she’d rather I made her a nice cup of tea? No? Sure? OK, cattle prod it is, then.

Like most men in a female-led relationship, I learnt about pre-menstrual tension quite early on. Also post-menstrual tetchiness and during-menstrual extreme violence.

All under control

…just as it should be.

This image reminds me a bit of my first sexual partner, although the heel is a slightly different shape.

She’s actually never done a humiliation session before – but it turns out she’s a natural.

Fortunately, he has a very sophisticated palate, so whatever it is – or used to be – I’m sure he’ll be able to work it out.

Mainly, it’s the abuse, to be honest.

Poor dear man. So very old. So very dead. I hope she gets over it quickly, so she can live a full life for him. He’d have wanted that.

Marital law

Just before he takes his real marriage vows.

Don’t worry: biting during sex play is considered vanilla these days, so no one at work is likely to bat an eye if you turn up with a few playful bite marks on your neck, slightly raggedy ears or a couple of missing fingers. So just let her go with it.

My SO thinks electric shocks are funny too. I’ve never really seen the humour in it myself, but maybe it’s one of those Mars/Venus things.

It’s always worth
buying things in bulk. My friends at school bought me a lifetime’s
supply of condoms and I’m less than one third of the way through.
Exactly one third, actually.

The decision-making in this marriage is shared. Once she’s made a decision, she shares it with you. Well… it’s best to know, isn’t it?

And a topical one for the Brits:

Some tales

… as old as time for this bright new year!

Fairy tales, that is. Not all themed around Beauty and the Beast. Well… except insofar as everything that has ever appeared on this blog does have that theme, if you think about it.

And of course she’s keeping the whip and the
cattle prod. But she’d have those anyway – her mother would have
presented her with them as a wedding gift, had circumstances not caused
her to need them sooner.

Many girls dream of meeting a handsome Prince, when they grow up. Only a small fraction of those girls also dream of watching him being eviscerated by a seagull and then going off to make passionate love to their girlfriend… but enough do to make the world a more interesting place.

Well, let’s hope she turns him back soon. It won’t be much fun for her having to look after a guy who’s basically not much more than an erect penis with a handle.