caption – Page 155 – Contemplating the divine

But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people.

Nothing so pervy as the Bible, is there?

On we go, mustn’t dawdle, only 2 more wanking days before Christmas.

We really need to fundamentally rethink our vision of society, to tackle climate change. Having lots of beautiful dommes around wearing leather would be a really good start, IMWO*.

Later he discovered that he could tell the difference between wines, as long as they were first passed through Anna. But by then, his career had moved on.

Don’t worry. If you didn’t look, you have nothing to be terrified about.

Evil twisted former secretary fantasy stuff

Well that’s a relief. The rumour around the office was that the woman doing these evaluations was a real man-hater who took pleasure in humiliating male staff.

Times are hard, you need the money and she hates the taste of semen. It’s perfect.

*IMWO = In My Worthless Opinion. I’m trying to start a meme, here.

Devotional intelligence

There are actually scientific tests of men’s devotional intelligence scores. You’re given a set of 100 statements and asked for your opinion on each, which is then ignored. It’s very accurate.

Two dommes both looking at me and my brain is gonnehegfetdgdtf

Actually, I don’t think the former owners left the key. Might just have to leave it there.

Jenny gives her hubby a good brain-zapping

Well, he’s not writhing around on the floor in agony, so something’s obviously wrong.

It wouldn’t be so bad, but she just can’t spell for toffee. “Slutt” indeed – and all over your forehead too!

Sweeps as it beats as it flogs as it teases

Women. Getting all excited over an ordinary household appliance? Remember when she got that new iron, and couldn’t stop trying it out on the back of your hand? Girls and their toys, eh?

Too short to satisify too long to not to care

That’s a bit unfair. But then so was telling all your friends you were too small to satisfy her, and then making you hire her a male escort. Sometimes life’s not fair like that. Hey – you’re an impotent cuckold with a tiny cock. But there’s probably a good side to that, right? Right?

Rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath

Please.

She didn’t rush to judgement, though. She took her time.

cold hearltless and brutal...whats not to like?

Yet another of those Mars and Venus things, I reckon. What do you suppose she’s trying to tell you here?

Actually the greatest torture is trying to read the tiny print…

Actually that’s not fair. At least one of the girls in the office calls you “Bootlicking little perverted wanker.”. No idea why.

There are times in any marriage when an apology is called for. Here’s one.

What do you call a slave all wrapped up in brown paper?

Russell.

What do you call a trannie, with one ankle tied tightly up to ‘her’ genitals?

Eileen.

How many slaves does it take to – oh never mind. In my heart, I know I’m funny.

On with the pictures…I’ve got pages and pages of great material.

Still, no harm done.

I’d forgive her. Wouldn’t you forgive her?

He’s quite a big boy, but now he’ll be able to try small penis humiliation! For a while anyway. Isn’t that great?

I thought we’d try a change from the sexual themed pictures. Just a pretty girl eating a banana. Wholesome fun.

And you can call her Ma’am.

Thou shalt not

Not without permission anyway.

And they all lived happily – oh no, hang on, no they didn’t.

Bunny girl dominatrix...always wanted to type that phrase

I think it’s great when husband and wife can work together. But don’t expect her to help out with the housework – remember who’s bringing home the big bucks in this relationship. She earns more money, too.

Cruel dominant lesbian wife...what's not to like?

A G5? A G5 airplane?

You have to time it right. Best to work up to it in stages, taking him a little further each time until that IQ’s just down where you like it.

She's not going to lick it off you know.

You need to learn to respect her rights. Or just respect her.

Dealing with feelings of guilt

I’d like you to meet some ladies who are really good at that.

Don’t worry, you’ll show her. Just go and get yourself a lawyer and – oh. OK, so if you save your pocket money for about two years, maybe you can afford a really cheap lawyer, and then…

Maybe you choose tonight. Then she can choose again tomorrow.

Hot lesbian girl on girl action, no less

Let’s just hope the little wife doesn’t ever mention that you call her ‘the bitch’.

Unconditional surrender.

Nice to see her soft and affectionate side, for a moment, before she really gets started on you.

Feeling her pain

Oh, you will.

He should be more sensitive. Fortunately, parts of him are, so she can start working on those.

It can’t be for clothes, because she buys them for you. And you’re not allowed alcohol or cigarettes.

She calls it “head-spanking”. Isn’t that cute?

Of course, it’s just possible they’ll take a bit longer than an hour. So – best to stop all that frantic banging and wriggling about.

Won’t your wife be pleased when you get home and show her?

Influencing skills

These ladies have them.

Oooh! Oooh! I don’t have a foot fetish either Ma’am! Oh dear, Pleeeease don’t make me lick your dirty feet clean Ma’am!

Still, he’s lucky to be inside in weather like this. Best half-hour of the day.

Hmmm. How are we going to resolve this?

And don’t think she’s impressed when you buy the extra-large condoms, either. She knows they’re not for you.

You’ve made her very happy today.

Should men have the vote?

Not such an obvious question as you might imagine. Yes, on the one hand, obviously women should make all the decisions. But in our present, highly imperfect society, dominant wives effectively get two votes and owners of stables of slaves get a whole bunch.

I’m actually really interested in politics, myself. I like to watch all the debates, and sort out the issues in my mind, as it helps me guess which party my Significant Other is likely to tell me to vote for.

Here we go again – femdom captions all right for you? Lovely.

Last fancy dress party, she wore her leather outfit and you wore that little maid dress. The time before she went as a strict schoolteacher and you as a schoolboy. It’s just as well your parents don’t know anything about this stuff, or they might begin to see a pattern and stop inviting you.

Femdom wife appreciates it when you fuck off and leave her alone

As you’ve probably discovered by now, the world is full of beautiful women who really want you to fuck off. I find that usually I know that without them even needing to tell me any more. It’s a Mars/Venus thing, really.

I think the club has a special lapel-pin you can wear.

She probably won’t actually tell him, in order to avoid panic. If he needs to know, he’ll know.

Isn’t she pretty? Don’t pictures like this make you feel you don’t deserve even to be scraped off the sole of her shoe?

Another rather unimaginative headline featuring femdom captions

With a big hello to search engines from all over.

Now, after a headline like that, I suppose there had better be some captioned images of female domination, hadn’t there?

But also more enjoyable for her. There’s always an upside.

So with this one I – ow! – excuse me, I was just – OOH! – I’m sorry, I really…ohhhh that hurts!…need to move on to the next. No caption here.

OW! No better!

Right. Think calm thoughts. It’s funny – we give our cat the stuff in tins as a treat, and the dry biscuity stuff for normal food. So when my wife makes me eat the contents of one of the tins, I guess both me and the cat are unhappy about it.

Isn’t it an awful feeling? When you just know you’re going to have an argument. But all arguments end, you know that too. And you’ll be a better husband for it, after all.