caption – Page 146 – Contemplating the divine

Abject bliss

Puppywup gonna dieee-wie.

This magnificant lady is of course from Planet Femdom. The unimpressive boys were free gifts with her weekly magazine.

Things always seem so simple after a birching, don’t you agree? Hmm? Yes – thought you would.

Actually, grammatically speaking it is you who are surprised. She is amazed, startled: something like that.

(Incidentally: little tip if you ever session with a pro-domme. Very few of them – perhaps even none – really appreciate grammatical pedantry from their slaves. Just something I’ve learned (or is learnt?) over the years.)

This is the lovely – if rather sarcastic and humiliating – Selena. If you want to worship her, go to worshipselena.com. Simple. Or wickedheartsboutique or somewhere like that, you know? Yes – I’ll bet you do.

I expect the screaming will become rather irritating after a while. Still, they could always turn the TV up.

This picture will be from menareslaves.com, I imagine.

And if it doesn’t get you stiff, she’ll ask Manuel to stick around for a bit, and maybe the three of you could try something else.

(And this – finally – is the lovely but regretably only occasionally dominant Carla Brown.)

Her whim is my command

Of course, this blog is strongly opposed to real bullying. Just keep it for play, in session, that’s what I say. Not that She ever listens, when I do.

It’s odd the things women find sexy, isn’t it? For some it’s chunky jumpers, for others it’s brutal, relentless torture. Mars, Venus, whatever – you know?

That sounds fair. I’m certainly not going to argue.

She deserves a night off, I reckon. She can always pick it up wherever she left off, tomorrow morning.

It’s not a good thing to go around with suspicious, negative thoughts about any relationship. If you start thinking ‘What if Mistress murders me?’ each time, then you’re just not going to enjoy the session, and who does it benefit anyway? I mean, really?

Love not given lightly

Now if it gets too much for you, just cry out at any time, OK? She likes that.

Now that’s the kind of expression I usually have, when I’m in session. Sort of “oh shit”.

This picture is from menareslaves.com. You guessed, didn’t you?

Well, I think she shouldn’t have. It’s ridiculous. I mean, the elevator guy only has to press a button.

This is the delightful (sometimes too delightful – but I like to imagine her being mean) Carla Brown. So I guess that makes you Mr Carla Brown.

Oh – and it does count, even if your fingers are crossed. So don’t think you’re getting away that easily, boy number 3.

Yes. Yes it will.

Taking her hand in marriage

If you’re lucky. If you’re unlucky, you might have to take the cane as well.

On we go.

I wonder if they have a ‘bring your daughter to work’ day, too?

Best not to look nervous at this point. Just relax. I’m sure she’s very broadminded.

The only thing worse than being locked up in chastity is being in chastity and not locked up, I think you’ll find.

That’s a relief.

Don’t even mention little blue men. Unless you want Victoria to cane you. Do you? Oh…OK. Well, go ahead then.

Erectile disfunction

I got an email about dealing with erectile disfunction. I know they’re probably just spam, but I like to think the best of people, and I was willing to give it a go. At least it made a change from all those emails I get suggesting various ways of enhancing my penis size (sometimes I wish I’d never given my mother my email address, I really do).

Anyway, it said that lots of men experience periods of erectile disfunction, but if I wrote off describing the circumstances in which I…. err.. failed to rise to the occasion, as it were, world-famous doctors were waiting to advise me.

Well, as you can imagine, I was quite excited, and I wrote back at great length describing how I usually experience quite long periods of erectile disfunction shortly after annoying my Significant Other, for example by failing to iron her blouse properly, or over-cooking the pasta. But that I also find it difficult to achieve an erection when she’s just in a bad mood because she’s busy at work, or its her time of the month, or something like that. The email asked me to describe in detail the longest period of disfunction I’d had, so I sent them Time magazine’s review of the year for 2013.

And they never replied! I mean, can you believe it? I sent email after email, and eventually I just received an automatic response informing me that the server in Nigeria where they were based was blocking my address.

Isn’t the Internet a weird place, eh? Oh well. Here are some more pictures of pretty ladies looking threatening, so we can get sexually aroused by the thought of being punished and humiliated by them. Good wholesome stuff.

Beware of dominatrices with ‘strong views’

Now I believe this is Mistress Annabelle. But if it isn’t, perhaps she or the lady it happens to be could, err, correct me. Please?

I don’t know who he is, I’m afraid. Or if he’s available for sessions.

Domestic bliss.

You think?

This of course is the wonderful and creative (and scary!) Mistress Sidonia, of the English Mansion.

It’s ironic, really, as Alanis Morisette might say.

More from the English Mansion. And I think this is Mistress Jessica Wood.

Dear me, she seems a little fierce. Most young brides wait until after the wedding before giving their husbands their first proper birching. Still, maybe she’ll become more tolerant and forgiving of her husband’s faults when you’re married. Some brides do. Many don’t.

Tie me up, put me down

Lucky old bastard.

This image is from Femdom Planet. Tall German dommes…and this bloke.

Stand by your man.

Looks like he did, too. But I think he’s going to sober up very fast when they get started.

NB: Contemplating the Divine does not endorse (or particularly enjoy) getting good and drunk before a BDSM session. Contemplating the Divine just likes writing silly captions, that’s all.

It’s not real oppression if you’re forced to do it. You have to beg to be allowed…

Actually, I’m experiencing some spike pain even looking at the picture.

Crawling to learn

Oh, we do. We do.

Isn’t this picture wonderful?

Women eh? Can never make their minds up, silly things.

Not many calories in the dirt on the soles of her shoes, alas.

I can’t stand those mens libbers with all their ‘votes for men’ nonsense. We just shouldn’t worry our ugly little heads about it, that’s what I say. Ironing’s more my thing.

Coming out

A lot of people live secret lives, hiding their true selves away, fearful of mocking and misunderstandings. I’ve certainly done that for decades – decades too long, I would say. Well, I’ve made a momentous decision for the new year. I’m going to speak in public about what I truly feel in private. I’m going to – not ‘admit’ because that implies wrongdoing – but celebrate my sexuality. I’m going to share this first with you – the loyal readers of this blog.

Out loud and out proud.

Here we go…

(deep breath)

I, Servitor, have a sexual fetish. I get sexually aroused by thoughts of sexually dominant women, controlling, punishing and humiliating me. I am, in short, a sexual ‘submissive’.

There. That feels so much better! No doubt I’ll lose many readers of this blog, shocked at the nature of these revelations – but it’s their loss and not mine. I’d like to thank those readers broadminded enough to keep on reading. You know my secret now – and that’s a sacred trust. I know I can rely on you, even though I have not the slightest idea who any of you are.

Actually, I thought for a moment they were the punishment gloves. Or the other punishment gloves.

It does seem rather odd that I (for example) am not allowed on the furniture but I do still get to choose the Government.

Puppy play! In my youth I liked puppy play. Sadly, now it’s ‘tired old dog being dragged around slowly on aching knees under threat of a whipping’ play.

Oh. I think I have a lot of bad habits that I might need some help with, you know.

You know, there’s really nothing like a chastity belt for putting ladies at their ease with you. It takes away all that nonsense about being male, or a potential sexual partner, and allows you to just be yourself.

When the godesses wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.

True on so many levels.

I hope you had a good Christmas. I don’t know whether I did or not, as I wrote this post and ‘scheduled’ it weeks in advance.

In any case, the real Servitor was long ago laid off and the caption-writing outsourced to Bangladesh, where teams of underpaid workers assemble femdom-themed attempts at erotica and wit using cast-offs from other, more interesting, sites. Sad, but true – like everything else on this blog.

Don’t worry if you can’t fill it. Just ask one of the other men standing alongside you. I’m sure they won’t mind.

Boyfriends! The curse of the sissy sub’s life. Still, I suppose someone has to play the football.

It’s good that she’s not letting these petty irritations affect her work. No messing about, just getting on with it. That’s the way.

Ah, the majesty of the legal system.

“Servitor” is nice, I’ve often thought.

Frankly, Mistress, spank me

The title of course, yet another attempt to gain a veneer of artistic respectability by quoting someone with talent, in this case The Smiths.

The song speaks to me, though, and especially this line:
I didn’t realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry

No poetry today, you’ll be pleased to hear. Onward, with feeling:

I’m not sure what this caption is on about, to be honest. All lesbian couples look like this, don’t they? It must be true – the Internet sez so.

Keeps you fit. Very good for your health. Until she reaches five, anyway.

One day I’ll meet someone who appreciates me just for what I am – a pathetic, desperate and unattractive loser who’ll willingly hand over cash for a brief moment of pretence that I am otherwise.

The lovely Princess Kali, being lovely as ever.

Just another attempt to make some positive use of the flood of male-dom pictures swirling around and polluting our beloved Internet.