caption this time spelled correctly – Contemplating the divine

Careless talk

Costs… quite a lot. If you want her to pretend to care, that’ll be extra, too.

Well, that’s rather a dismissive attitude! What a haughty young miss! You know, I think you should say something , you really should. My suggestion would be “Yes Ma’am” but, y’know: you do you.

The nurses have discovered that really vigorous, two-fisted rectal examinations that leave the patient gasping and howling for mercy, can actually have useful therapeutic effects – senior staff nurse Perkins swears she always feels utterly relaxed after a really good one, especially if enjoyed with friends.

My SO always says the first hour’s just for warming up – unless it’s under the cold shower or in the ice bath, obviously.

I think they’re beginning to realise just what it is they can do to a man. Let’s hope that causes them to rethink their attitudes.

Face facts: it’s the only costume you’ve got that isn’t pink.

Well, if as a result they help him see the error of his ways, I suppose it might have been worth it. That and all the money they’re blackmailing him for, I mean.

And I will bare my soul in time

…when I’m kneeling at your feet.

I think we can agree, though, that it’s hardly femdom to expect men to do their share of the ironing. Including – obviously – making up for the backlog of several thousand years when they didn’t.

So we did. I wonder what we’ll decide today.

Good thing there’s a woman in charge to take those tough decisions.

Sissy didn’t actually understand the book anyway. Men should go out to work, take decsions, look after their own lives? Terrifiying.

It’s a bluff. I think it’s a bluff.

Drama. Queens.

Squeak!

I once asked my SO for a public humiliation session. So She made me start a blog in which I had to publish all my sick, dark and bleak fantasies from my miserable life. It’s going quite well.

You could try telling her that your ‘trophy’ is barely worth collecting.

They’re going to be discussing mens’ rights quite extensively, I understand.

Don’t worry – they’re not going to throw them all at your face. Pretty soon, they’ll move on to other parts of your body.

Impressively, one of the top search terms from visitors to this blog is a spelling mistake. So this is a special post to celebrate the tens of thousands of pageviews by ‘readers’ who cannot spell the word ‘divine’.

Welcome, guys (I think we can safely assume the gender balance of this particular sample swings heavily male). Just thought I should give you a shout out…you’ve been slowly typing the wrong word into Google for so many years now. Yay! Morons.

I’m aware of course that many of my ‘readers’ may not be native English speakers, so calling these people morons is unnecessarily insulting and might not be entirely fair. But – DUH! – this is a blog for males who enjoy being unnecesarily insulted and treated unfairly – remember? Morons.

Hey, guys, you know you should try booking a schoolboy session with one of those severe English schoolteacher dommes some time? You’d be really good at it. Take some cold cream for the journey home.

On with the devine imiges…

Oooh! ‘Not as bad as it just conceivably might have been’? Wow, that’s the nicest thing any woman’s ever said to me after sex. Usually, they just say something along the lines of “Sorry – would you mind moving a bit further down the carriage?”. which I find very hurtful.

Males don’t really need lobotomies, truth be told. Still, if it makes the little woman happy, you might as well let her have her way, hmm?

In the end, she just went for a more direct approach.

Yum.

Whimper.

Owner-controlled

It’s good to live in a comunity united around a shared interest.

Her feelings matter, remember. A lot.

I’d reach for ‘Polite dissenting opinion No 1’ but ‘we’ decided to remove it from the approved list.

It’s a good idea to wear a lot of pink, to avoid being mistaken for a feral male. Ferals hate wearing pink – especially frilly lacy things.

Aww… sweet. My own SO asked me how I’d like her to remember me and I suggested an alarm on her phone, every month when it’s time to change the straw. It’s working out pretty well.

Now do you want to dance, or do you want to bite?

Not that I approve of many more of the lyrics.

Wow – big decision, huh? Thank goodness she’s already taken it so you don’t have to.

I had a rectal examination on my last trip to the doctor’s. So embarrassing! I’m not taking that bus again!

Perhaps they could vote on it.

Wow. She’s pretty easy-going, huh? I wish my SO let me just beg for things whenever I like, like that.

Trick question – you’re doing both.

Holy bonds of matrimony

Keep thinking about it.

There is no try, there is only do.

Tease and denial. Love it.

It’s good for relievin’ her… tension.

This is from earlier in my marriage. These days, she has a bunch of keys she hangs from a belt. I bet she doesn’t even know what half of them open.

Because she says so

…is there ever any other reason?

It’ll help take your mind off the pain, while you’re waiting, anyway. Nothing like ‘more pain’, to do that.

How exciting! I wonder who it is?

It’s good to talk these things through. And then to smack them out.

You’ve either seen the movie or you haven’t.

Can’t stop staring at.. the …gloves…! Oh, er, right! Dinner. yes, right away.

I said “Tell me your name, is it Sweet?”, she said “My boy, it’s Dagger.”

Oh yeah.

I think it’s rather special that she dressed up for the occasion.

By the way – don’t be fooled by that ‘the last hour’ into thinking this was some sort of brutal day-long beating! No, no – it was only just over an hour. He started screaming desperately for mercy just a few minutes into it, that’s all, when he hit his limit, and then there was about an hour before she stopped. I mean – they’re not that cruel at OWK, for goodness’ sake.

Source is fairly obviously the Other World Kingdom, and this is the magnificant Madame Katarina.

Maybe his Mistress will put up posters or something. Maybe not.

Source is the delightful Men are Slaves. Yes. Yes, we are.

You never know. Their victim might actually have been responsible for Amelia Earheart’s disappearance. Wouldn’t that be something! You see, lawyers always say that in court you should never ask a witness you don’t know the answer to already, but torture’s not like that. You can just go where it takes you, you know?

The source for this is a song I don’t like at all from a band I’d never heard of called White Flame. The video’s pretty good, if you turn the sound off, ignore the band members and just concentrate on the ladies above.

Somehow, I think you might get to know Debbie quite well.

Fedmom capyions

Just for all those of you too excited at the thought of all these pictures of dominant ladies to type into Google correctly.

One of the most common search terms for people finding this blog is “Contemplating the devine”. No. Just no. Write it out correctly 500 times, and then go and see Miss Hardcastle, boy!

On we go.

Where else could you be?

Clue: the right answer is “Yes” or, better, “Yes, Mistress”. Don’t worry – you can always borrow the money if you haven’t got it!

Men say the oddest things sometimes. That’s why sensible wives don’t let them speak without permission.

The safeword is your credit card number.

You have laugh really, eh? All those bitter tears of loss… Over someone else’s balls. Funny. Isn’t it?

By the way, I shall be on holiday for about the next two and a half weeks. The blog will continue to update itself twice a week via the magic of ‘scheduler’ *. But if I don’t respond to your comment for a few weeks, it’s not because I am rude, or too lazy to do so**, it’s just because I’m not really here. But I’d like you to keep commenting anyway…

*actually, to tell the truth most of the captions and stories these days are produced using an AI script anyway, which is why they are so repetitive and formulaic. The real ‘Servitor’ died of shame about six months ago. Nobody cared.

** unless of course you are a representative of the ruling gender, in which case my failure to reply is a sign of laziness and rudeness, and I hope you’ll be taking appropriate disciplinary measures to deal with this disgracefully impertinent behaviour.

Category: caption this time spelled correctly